Marriage Humour !!!!!?

Question

Marriage Humor

You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable
or
get married and wish you were dead.
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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other women replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when
I married you."
She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."*
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A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted". Next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

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The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found
a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.

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You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with
the boys on Wednesday nights,.............and so does she.

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During a heated spat over finances, the husband said, "Well, if you'd
learn to cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid."
The wife fuming, shot back, "Oh yeah??? Well, if you'd learn how to make
love, we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener."

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My wife told me I should be more affectionate, so I got two girlfriends.

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How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.


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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with
a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful

Answer 1

Ain't that the damn truth!!! LOL;)

Answer 2

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said,
"Good trade."

Answer 3

why do these women say they can be equal to men.
men can bathe naked at a public place or beg with no clothes, or wander on the road drunk.
can women???

Answer 4

I LOVED IT!!!!!!!! Here's another one that u can add:

A boy asks his father, "hey dad, where did i get my intelligence from?" and the dad replies, "well, i still have mine, so you must have gotten it from your mother."

I know, I know. It's kinda off topic, but it has to do with mom and dad hating each other.

I really liked them, PLEASE WRITE MORE JOKES LIKE THAT!!!!!! ~^_^~

Answer 5

Bit cynical but lmao!

Answer 6

All were good, especially some of them made me laugh heartily.......Thanks again.

Answer 7

funny

Answer 8

funny

Answer 9

Good ones ;)

Answer 10

faf