Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

O-T-T-F-F-S-S-E-----?????

2006-08-27 21:32:19 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

A group of Co-workers is standing around the
office of their lawfirm. The main discussion
was Bill.

Bill was an upbeat guy, always replying to any
situation "It could of been worse". They came
up with a brillant idea. They were to make up a
situation so bad even Bill can't find the better
side of it.

The next day Bill was approached by his
co-workers. One of them started describing the
plot.

It started out with "Hey Bill, did you hear about
Frank".

Bill, not knowing what was going on replied no.
Another worker continued. "When he got home last
night he caught his wife in bed with another man.
He went to his closet, grabbed his shotgun, shot
his wife, shot the man, then turned the gun on
himself, now they're all dead.

Bill smiled and replied "It could have been
worse".

One of the workers piped up "How could it be
worse"?

Bill said "Two nights earlier and I'd be dead!"

2006-08-27 21:30:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two convicts are locked in a cell. There is an unbarred window high up in the cell. No matter if they stand on the bed or one on top of the other they can't reach the window to escape.
They then decide to tunnel out. However, they give up with the tunneling because it will take too long. Finally one of the convicts figures out how to escape from the cell.

What is his plan?

2006-08-27 21:28:06 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Think Clearly To Get The Right Smart Answer
What Would the Woman and the man do to be sated ;)

2006-08-27 21:24:47 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

On a rainy day,
at the end of the Play,
what does the director say?

2006-08-27 21:21:06 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

when they make "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" products?

2006-08-27 21:20:07 · 8 answers · asked by chilli 4

ok

2006-08-27 21:18:16 · 7 answers · asked by hitu 1

A man was found dead out in a feild of snow. The ony tracks that were left was a set of footprints between two parralell lines.

Whom should the police be looking for?

2006-08-27 21:17:26 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm sometimes white,
Although sometimes I'm black.
I take you there,
But never bring you back.

What am I?

2006-08-27 21:15:50 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

My Uncle is 65 years old. How many birthdays does he have?

2006-08-27 21:14:22 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why can't Mr Blue Desrt, who is now living in India, not be buried in the USA?

2006-08-27 21:13:31 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

A sign on the barbers door says "I shave only those who do not shave themselves".
Does the barber shave himself?

2006-08-27 21:10:11 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two archeologists find a burial site with two perfectly preserved bodies. After careful study they proclaim that the bodies are Adam and Eve!
How do they know this?

2006-08-27 21:08:45 · 15 answers · asked by swansez11 2

diet to produce skimmed milk?

2006-08-27 21:08:39 · 13 answers · asked by chilli 4

A lady named her children: Dominique, Regis, Michelle, Fawn, Sophie and Lara. What will she name her next child?

Also tell why?

2006-08-27 21:07:58 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

answer in ten minutes

2006-08-27 21:04:58 · 20 answers · asked by glacier 4

that they whip a cow to get whip cream?

2006-08-27 21:02:31 · 6 answers · asked by chilli 4

See my 360 blog for answer and " the worlds easiest quiz"

2006-08-27 20:57:08 · 10 answers · asked by mr_spike432 2

2006-08-27 20:52:44 · 6 answers · asked by Betty's Boops n such 2

two american coins add up to thirty cents and one is not a quarter

2006-08-27 20:51:47 · 8 answers · asked by Betty's Boops n such 2

On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to over take it behind you is lion running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

2006-08-27 20:50:59 · 14 answers · asked by tiffers64080 2

ok there is this hotel in the middle of nowhere and a man goes inside and asks for a room on the first floor. so the guy gives him a room and tells him to stick a jar out the window at 12:00 o clock. and than another guy comes asking for a room on the 2nd floor the guy gives him one and tells him to pee out the window at 12:00 o clock and than another guy comes wanting a room on the third floor so the guy gives him one and tells him to stick a knife out the window at 12:00 o clock. So what do u think happens next?

2006-08-27 20:50:40 · 11 answers · asked by brandi_vnslyk 1

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

2. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

3. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

4. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

5. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

6. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

7. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

8. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

9. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

10. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

11. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

12. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

13. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

14. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

15. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that You actually look forward to the trip.

16. Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

17. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."

18. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

19. Father : A banker provided by nature.

20. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

21. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

22. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

23. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

2006-08-27 20:47:02 · 10 answers · asked by Dew Drop 3

2006-08-27 20:38:31 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-27 20:20:00 · 5 answers · asked by fed 1

Girls are more talkative than boys because in nature they have two mouths. The upper mouth and the lower mouth. The upper mouth is in the face while the lower mouth is "you know where it is"... ehem. The upper mouth behaves normal while the lower mouth doesn't.The lower mouth can't talk, can't smile or laugh, but it can chew.
Boys can understand why girls are this way because they have two heads. The upper head and the lower head. The upper head looks normal but the lower head is not. The upper head can think while the lower head can't. The lower head is very small compare it to the upper head but it has a long neck. It will just react to situation, when it does, better watch out. It will stand up proudly and takes control . The person can help it but listen to what the lower head tells him to. It is now the one encharge.

2006-08-27 20:11:42 · 15 answers · asked by jong jong 2

This guy loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. If you missed a ferry late at night, you had to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan.
So, when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck.
He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?"
"Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock."

he he

2006-08-27 19:49:16 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Riddle that is killing me

2006-08-27 19:47:13 · 13 answers · asked by mandaflea 1

Last time, we had this riddle:

Tell me the city that you name by dropping a waffle on the beach.
A: Sandy Eggo!

Hehe. And here is today's riddle:

Why was Jack's report card all wet?

Have fun!

2006-08-27 19:31:07 · 9 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

I am looking for the site where the ghost pops out at you while you are focusing on I beleive is a haunted room.
thanks.

2006-08-27 19:22:06 · 10 answers · asked by patricia j 1