Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

2006-07-27 11:36:28 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-27 11:35:10 · 2 answers · asked by canuticklemepink 5

2006-07-27 11:24:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

I no longer care about my points or level! Plus, asking is much more fun and less demanding than answering dontcha think? ;)

Oh, uggg...riddle? Sure, I'll take a stab.

How do you keep the one you love?

2006-07-27 11:18:05 · 9 answers · asked by jaike 5

Get it righ and ill give ya 10 points=

2006-07-27 11:14:15 · 14 answers · asked by ♥Hánnàh♥ [Hysteria] 6

Chuck Norris understands the words coming out of Jackie Chan's mouth.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the Da Vinci code because he is the real father of Mary Magdalene's daughter.

If Tony Hawk can do a 360 with a skateboard. Chuck Norris can do a 760 using an 18 wheeler truck.

Chuck Norris was really the first person to know that Lance Bass of N'sync is gay.

Armageddon is defined as Chuck Norris is sleeping.

Chuck Norris was the first one to solve the Rubik's cube.

Chuck Norris first roundhouse kick was aimed at a building. Even now, that building is still known as the Leaning tower of Pisa. He was 2 years old back then.

Chuck Norris knows what you did last summer.

Chuck Norris knows where your car is dude.

Chuck Norris doesn't forgive and forget, he forgives and forgets after a roundhouse kick in your face.

The term love is blind are women who haven't slept with Chuck Norris.

To err is human... Not to err is Chuck Norris.

2006-07-27 11:06:27 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two Scots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's
forthcoming wedding.

"Ach, it's all going grand," says Jock. "I've got everything organised
already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night... Archie nods approvingly.

"Havens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jock.

"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's braw, you'll look pure smart in that!

"And what's the tartan?" Archie then enquires.

"Och," says Jock, "I'd imagine she'll be in white..."

2006-07-27 11:04:56 · 13 answers · asked by sharon19833 3

I heard this on Scrubs

2006-07-27 11:04:43 · 18 answers · asked by melissa w 1

This is something my grandfather used to say, but my mother can't remember the last part... it would make her happy to know (and in this case,the answer wasn´t "as he picked up his hammer and saw", in case you were wondering) - Thank you for your help!!!

2006-07-27 11:03:05 · 6 answers · asked by Lee 1

Five million people, fifteen last names?!?

Inquiring minds want to know!

(I now find it necessary to post the following informative statements with all my questions.)

WARNING!
This is a SARCASTIC question!
It was only done as a joke!

<>

2006-07-27 11:02:44 · 8 answers · asked by ? 6

2006-07-27 11:00:50 · 52 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-27 11:00:49 · 7 answers · asked by ? 6

A bloke peeps round the door of a crowded hairdressers.
"How long before you're free?"
"At least 45 minutes"
The bloke leaves.
Next day, he's back.
"How long before you're free?"
"About an hour"
The bloke leaves.
Next day, he's back.
"Free?"
"Hour"
The bloke leaves.
The barber says to his assistant
"Follow him, see where he goes"
The assistant comes back a few minutes later
"Well, where did he go?"
"Your place"

2006-07-27 10:59:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-27 10:58:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-27 10:57:56 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

What are some really good practical jokes that I can use on the guy's apartment we're feuding with at college? I like the guys, so I don't want anything too harsh, just some funny, harmless pranks? They have a good sense of humor--meaning they enjoy and good, CLEAN joke, as do I. So far, we've covered every inch of pinchable space inside and out of their cars with clothespins and they've stolen one shoe from each of our pairs of shoes. (we got them back from them eventually) There will be lots of snow this semester, to give you an idea or two.

2006-07-27 10:56:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Jeff Foxworthy flies his helicopter...My butt looks big cuz it IS big....

2006-07-27 10:54:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I saw this one today, "The 10 Commandments are NOT Multiple Choice".

2006-07-27 10:52:13 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

woman with no arms goes to icecream van and asks for a icecream,
the man says what flavour would you like,
she says doesnt fuking matter am just gonna drop it anyway.

2006-07-27 10:51:42 · 3 answers · asked by bikerdude 2

2006-07-27 10:50:27 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

I ain't.

Yes, I am.

Are you?

2006-07-27 10:48:00 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-27 10:46:43 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

from dat movie Child's play?

That lil Mutha***ka gives me the creeps.

**** him.

2006-07-27 10:46:15 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-27 10:45:33 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I Have acquired a Casket, already got chainsaws, and will probably have a 1 monster close to 8 feet tall, Last year was a blast and we have people wanting this year to be bigger and better
Thank your for your ideas :-)

2006-07-27 10:40:27 · 6 answers · asked by D B 4

question you have ever read.

2006-07-27 10:35:44 · 23 answers · asked by projetkarma 2

Just playing.

I want this really gorgeous lady puddle but she's already with a big asss boxer..

Should I bite his asss and take his girl?

2006-07-27 10:32:16 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

And thought,"Damn that is funny!" Okay, you just found a pen on the floor next to you and it's your turn to add to the mounting diary above the toilet dispenser... what would you have to say?

2006-07-27 10:30:53 · 24 answers · asked by Mr. Christopher 2

Two male buddies were walking through the woods when out of no where, a poisonous snake came and bit one of the men in the penis! The man collapsed to the ground while his friend ran to town to get help. The man arrived at a doctor's office and said help, help, my friend was bit by a snake in the penis. The doctor remarked that he couldn't get all his tools to the woods in time to save the friend, so he told him that he would have to suck the venom out of his friend! There has got to be another way said the man and the doctor sighed no I am sorry! The man ran back to the woods and found his poor friends lying on the floor in allot of pain! The man on the floor cried, what did the doctor say? The friend said, he said you're going to die.

2006-07-27 10:17:58 · 24 answers · asked by christine 3

Willys cynical thought for the day;

EVERYTHING that works is based on simplicity, Fender, Gretch, Gibson and every other, early, amp maker took 99% of their ideas from old (even then they were) RCA manuals. But now this century it has become 'hip' to have the latest Balogni. But to build the latest mousetrap first you need to see what was done before and only a fool would base his mousetrap on a goddamn nuclear bomb!

Hey I couldn't resist, I've always been from the 'less is more' school although I never graduated!

A biker was sitting in the shade, sipping a cool one and watching his ol' lady mow the lawn.

His new neighbor came over and said, "You bastard, making your wife cut the grass while all you do is watch! You oughta be hung!"

He took a long sip and said, "I am." "That's why she's cutting the freaking grass."

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-27 10:04:31 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous