Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

Clue: we both have this, if you lost yours how am i then...

2006-07-03 21:20:08 · 5 answers · asked by irish girl 1

What has an ego but doesn't stand tall?

2006-07-03 21:12:25 · 10 answers · asked by alloy 4

A Hyena has separated a baby monkey from its mother and chased as a prey. Baby monkey has ran and suddenly climbed on a tree top. The hyena is waiting down the tree until baby monkey get down. intension of make it as its prey.

CAN ANY1 TELL HOW THE BABY MONKEY ESCAPED FROM THE HYENA?

2006-07-03 21:05:46 · 19 answers · asked by i_am_a_victim 1

Bin Laden and the Genie in the Bottle

Osama bin Laden found a bottle on the beach and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, "Master, may I grant you one wish?"

"Infidel, don't you know who I am? I need nothing from a lowly woman," barked bin Laden.

The genie pleaded, "But master, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to this bottle forever."

Osama thought a moment. Then, grumbling about the inconvenience of it all, he relented. "OK, OK, I want wake up with three white, American women in my bed in the morning. I have plans for them." Giving the genie a cold glare, he growled, "Now, be gone!"

The genie, annoyed, said "So be it!" and disappeared back into the bottle. The next morning, Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton. His penis was gone, his leg was broken and he had no health insurance.

2006-07-03 20:52:53 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blonde walks in to a curtain shop and says"Hello,i need some curtains for my computer."
the worker says"WHy on earth would you need curtains for your comupter?!?!"
what d0es the blonde say?

2006-07-03 20:51:00 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-03 20:45:50 · 14 answers · asked by belladonau 1

What do they mean by "The size"?
What size are they talking about?

2006-07-03 20:43:11 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

what is the similarity between a good looking, handsome, smart, caring, lovable guy and osama bin laden?????

2006-07-03 20:42:38 · 21 answers · asked by sugar and spice 2

bus driver can obtain a license at Department of Motor and Traffic, where will u obtain a license for SCREW DRIVER?

2006-07-03 20:41:49 · 6 answers · asked by i_am_a_victim 1

But I can't remeber what it was, can anyone help

2006-07-03 20:38:59 · 30 answers · asked by projetkarma 2

2006-07-03 20:37:44 · 6 answers · asked by Bad Kitty! 7

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection
and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies,
and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt
Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-
baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times he still was a
crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes


Rate by your chuckles 1-5

2006-07-03 20:37:32 · 6 answers · asked by SmileyCat : ) 4

come on, this is an easy one..

2006-07-03 20:34:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

a guy bought a new hitech state-of-the-art car with full computer control gadgets, the works...taking it for a test drive:
computer: welcome..please fasten your safety belts
the guy fastened his belts and went for the motorway, doing 60 mph
computer:dear driver remember: do not exceed speed limit
the guy ignored the remark and drove on accellerating to 100
computer:dear driver haste makes waste..
ignoring this, he drove at 120
computer:dear driver your children await you please reduce speed
he decides to take it to the limit, now doing 160
computer:warning! reduce your speed immediately
when he finally reaches a top speed of 200 mph
computer:HEY BUDDY!! STOP AT THE NEXT CORNER 'N LEMME DOWN, A$$HOLE!!!

2006-07-03 20:24:54 · 2 answers · asked by 【ツ】ρεαcε! 5

A man was wandering in the woods, pondering all the mysteries of life and his own personal problems. The man couldn't find the answers, so he sought help from God.

"God? You there, God?" he asked.

"Yes. What is it, my son?" God answered.

"Mind if I ask a few questions?" the man asked.

"Go ahead, my son, anything."

"God, what is a million years to you?"

God answered, "A million years to me is only a second."

The man asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"

God replied, "A million dollars to me is worth only a penny."

The man lifted his eyebrows and asked his final question.

"God, can I have a penny?"

God answered, "Sure, give me a second."

2006-07-03 20:10:52 · 10 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

2006-07-03 19:55:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

1.. A couple of ducks are walking down the road, one duck infront of 2 ducks, 1 duck behind 2 ducks and 1 duck in the middle of 2 ducks, how many ducks are there?

2.. what can be measured but has not height, lenght and size?

2006-07-03 19:54:49 · 14 answers · asked by gogobanca 4

Previously, we saw this following riddle:

What did the baker close down the bakery?
A: He ran out of dough!!!

Lol. Ugh! Seems like everyone knows these. Let's see if I can stump you with today's riddle:)

What has four legs and a tail and goes tick-tock?

Hehe... good luck!

2006-07-03 19:33:12 · 13 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

Like, what did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."

2006-07-03 18:46:33 · 4 answers · asked by Rico Toasterman JPA 7

ok there was this bag of sh.it who wanted to get in this prestigious club. so it hopped to the door and said yo, i gotta get in this club. the bouncer said no way get outta here u sh.it bag we dont like your kind. so then a sack of vomit said dammm imma try. it went to the door and said can i please get in tonight? the bouncer said hell no you make me sick get the heck outta here b4 i barf u a brother. dang said a bottle of piss. i probably have no chance at all gettin in, but what the heck. it went to the door and said mr bouncer i jus gotta get in this club. the bouncer said hmmm ok URINE!!



by the way the bouncer was being a dick

2006-07-03 18:44:13 · 12 answers · asked by internet_mack 2

I am the end of everything. The answer is not "g".

2006-07-03 18:41:04 · 10 answers · asked by Jennifer 2

this old lady is walking around the porn store when the clerk notices her. As se walks around she is shaking and moving very slow! she finaly gos to the check out counter and askes the clerk. (d d do you h ha have any d d dildos?) he reponds yes we have a wall full of them. ( d d do you h ha have any t t tha that are a about f f four inches t t thick?) he says yes ( d d do you h ha have any t t that are a about tw twelve inches l l long?) he says yes! ( d d do you h h have any t t that v vi viberate?) he says we got one! ( d d do you k know h how too t t turn it off?)

2006-07-03 18:24:46 · 5 answers · asked by perfect_demise 2

a SNAKE ????

2006-07-03 18:12:51 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

What are some of your jokes???? PLEASE KEEP THEM CLEAN.

2006-07-03 17:51:04 · 14 answers · asked by Gothic Girl 4

Here goes mine:-

Jim, 86 years old, walked into a crowded doctor's facility.
The receptionist "Yes sir, how can we help U?"
"There's something wrong with my pen*s," Jim says aloud.
The shocked receptionist at his reply said, "U shouldn't come into a crowd and talk that way."
"Why not?" said Jim, "U asked me and I replied U that’s it."
Receptionist replied, "But U've caused some embarrassment – this room is full of people. U should have said there is something wrong with Ur ear or something and then discuss the real problem with the doctor in private."
So Jim walked out, waited few minutes and came in again.
The receptionist smiled and said, "Yes sir, how can we help U?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," Jim replied.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing Jim had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with Ur ear, sir?"
"I can't pee out of it," Jim replied.

2006-07-03 17:49:12 · 8 answers · asked by Pd 6

8447 47 47328, 4 226 863378263 48. 7468697320697320656173792E

2006-07-03 17:48:27 · 5 answers · asked by ? 2

2006-07-03 17:42:00 · 5 answers · asked by ladysodivine 6

2006-07-03 17:39:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

A summer camp was started in 1965. The owner staged a big celebration for his 35th season running the camp. In which century did the celebration take place- the 20th or 21st century?

2006-07-03 17:13:45 · 19 answers · asked by ThatshowIroll! 2

Well HuH ? Have You?

2006-07-03 17:09:56 · 11 answers · asked by creeklops 5