Got any good N funny jokes?

Question

Here goes mine:-

Jim, 86 years old, walked into a crowded doctor's facility.
The receptionist "Yes sir, how can we help U?"
"There's something wrong with my pen*s," Jim says aloud.
The shocked receptionist at his reply said, "U shouldn't come into a crowd and talk that way."
"Why not?" said Jim, "U asked me and I replied U that’s it."
Receptionist replied, "But U've caused some embarrassment – this room is full of people. U should have said there is something wrong with Ur ear or something and then discuss the real problem with the doctor in private."
So Jim walked out, waited few minutes and came in again.
The receptionist smiled and said, "Yes sir, how can we help U?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," Jim replied.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing Jim had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with Ur ear, sir?"
"I can't pee out of it," Jim replied.

Answer 1

Hey Pd good mrning, heres mine too;

A guy and a girl are lying in a dorm-room bed after just having sex. The guy lies on his side of the bed and rests. The girl rolls to her side of the bed and says to herself, "I finally did it! I'm no longer a virgin."
The guy overhears her talking to herself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?"

"Well," the girl explains, "I always wanted to wait until I was with the man I love to lose my virginity."

Astounded, the guy replies, "So you really love me?"

"Oh God no!" the girl says. "I just got sick of waiting."

Answer 2

hehe... try this one

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer
during a felony trial - it went like this:

Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer, who responded to the alarm.

Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.
Doyou trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.

Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a room
where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A: Yes sir.

Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes sir, I do.

Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes sir.

Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your
life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share
with those same officers?
A: You see sir, we share the building with the court complex, and
sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

Answer 3

that wasn't funny but here goes one.....

The teacher asked Lil Johnny, if there was four birds and she shot one how many would be left? Lil Johnny said none because the rest would fly away. She thought about it said , I was gonna say three but I like the way your thinking.....So Lil Johnny told the teacher that there were three woman who had ice cream. One was licking the icream, one was sucking the ice cream and the last one was slurping the ice cream. Which was married? The teacher was shocked by this question and blushed. "Why the one sucking the ice cream I guess......."Lil Johnny said no! It's the one with the wedding ring on her finger but I like the way your thinking......

LOL hahahahahahaha............hope you liked

Answer 4

Alright heres a funny one i think:


One day a teacher is giving a taste test to the kids. So she takes the orange flavor candy and she says who can tell me what flavor this is. so little susie stands up and says that Orange flavor. Very good susie the teacher says. So she hands out the cherry flavor candy and she says who can tell me this falvor. Little frankie stands up and say thats cherry. Verry good Framky. So she takes the honey flavor and she says who can tell me this flavor. The kids are all sucking on it trying to guess. so the teacher says here ill give you a hint, Its what your mother calls your father when he comes home from work. So little Johnny stands up and spits his out and yells ' SPIT THEM OUT THEYRE ASSHOLES!!"


Write me a message at [e-mail] if you like it

Answer 5

i don't really remember, but here it goes.

there was a girl named Sarah who went to sunday school. she wasn't very good and always slept in class.

one day, the teacher called on her, but she was sleeping.

"Sarah, who is the creator of the earth?" the teacher asked. Johnny, who sat behind sarah, gave her a jab with his pen.

"GOD ALMIGHTY!" Sarah shouted, and went back to sleep.

"Very good." the teacher said.

A few minutes later the teacher called on her again.

"Sarah, who sacrificed himself to pay for our sins?" the teacher asked. Johnny poked her with the pen again.

"JESUS CHRIST!" she shouted, and went back to sleep.

"Thank you, sarah." The teacher said.

Before sunday school ended, the teacher called on sarah once more.

"Sarah, what did mary say to her husband after they had their last baby?" The teacher asked. Johnny jabbed her with the pen extremely hard.

"IF YOU POKE ME WITH THAT THING ONE MORE TIME, I'M GONNA BREAK IT IN HALF!" sarah shouted.

the teacher fainted.

get the joke?

Answer 6

Yep.

Check my group, there's my friend called Pradeep who is rocking!

Answer 7

Who wears the Pants
A young couple just married were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed the husband who was a big bully bruiser, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants!" she said. "That's right!" said the husband, "and don't you forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family!" With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his knee cap. He said, "Hell, I can't get into your pants!" She said, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to be until your attitude changes!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Answer 8

ahaha! good morning sir lolz@joke!