I don't fit. I don't feel alive. I feel dead, numb. Nothing feels real... I constantly feel like I'm acting to some invisible camera, that I'm being watched, and I'm trying to match emotions to situations. I try to pull the right faces at the right times and make the right jokes, match my body langauge to fit peoples' expectations and make the people around me happy even when I'm falling apart.
I'm in a daze. No-where feels like home, nothing feels comfortable or right or happy. I just kind of float.
I don't plan to kill myself, or anyone else, I don't think, anyway. Just maybe... I dunno... shave my head and go and sit in the middle of a field or something. Just something out of the blue, something that is nothing.
I feel like taking a whole bunch of painkillers. Not because i'm in pain, and not enough to die, just... just because it feels like it might help.
Someone, PLEASE... help me?
2006-12-30
11:33:55
·
25 answers
·
asked by
Pebbles
5
in
Mental Health