I'm going insane. What should I do?

Question

I don't fit. I don't feel alive. I feel dead, numb. Nothing feels real... I constantly feel like I'm acting to some invisible camera, that I'm being watched, and I'm trying to match emotions to situations. I try to pull the right faces at the right times and make the right jokes, match my body langauge to fit peoples' expectations and make the people around me happy even when I'm falling apart.

I'm in a daze. No-where feels like home, nothing feels comfortable or right or happy. I just kind of float.

I don't plan to kill myself, or anyone else, I don't think, anyway. Just maybe... I dunno... shave my head and go and sit in the middle of a field or something. Just something out of the blue, something that is nothing.

I feel like taking a whole bunch of painkillers. Not because i'm in pain, and not enough to die, just... just because it feels like it might help.

Someone, PLEASE... help me?

I usually eat loads. I'm pretty much a compulsive eater. Now I don't want to eat. I can, I just don't feel driven to.

I don't want to sleep, either. I'm tired, but... I just don't want to.

First off, 'Bubbles', I'm seventeen.

Second off, I have been to my doctor... I've been reffered to a psychiatric outpatients department, and he said it might go through faster cuz I have several years on my record for self-harm, but the refferal still takes a few weeks to come through.

Answer 1

Ok, when I was reading that, I started thinking that it sounded like me to a degree. Then I was surprised to read the part about the eating, which is like me also.

I normally get paranoid like that when my blood sugar is low. Have you checked yours? If you eat compulsively, you could have related issues, and that can cause a whole host of mental problems. Just keep that in mind.

If you think the painkillers might help, don't take them, but think more constructively instead--some psychiatric meds might help. Also watching what you eat may help as well. Not eating can have the same effect on your moods as eating compulsively.

If you want advice, I think you should go to your family doctor or a psychiatrist as soon as possible. They can run medical tests and prescribe any meds that may help you feel more normal.

Remember that if you work, you may be able to get a short leave of absence to reduce the stress some. You can ask that question to your human resource representative.

But the best thing is to get to a doctor soon and try to avoid junky foods like sugary sweets and potato chips, etc. Eat healthy.

Also, exercise is a natural antidepressant. Try to take a walk, go to the store...anything to get out of the house. I did not feel like leaving my house the other day but I made myself do it just to get some coffee and I was so glad I did.

Regarding the fakeness around others, I asked a question on here about that earlier. I know it sucks trying to be fake but remember, most of those people you have to smile around are in the same boat. Just chuckle to yourself about it. They are probably good people when you get to know them. And don't worry about pleasing anyone but God and anyone else important like an employer.

Hope this helped some.

Answer 2

Im sorry to hear that you are feeling sooo depressed. I know that feeling and until it passes, you can't really do anything. Can you call a friend to come over and keep you company? Or maybe just go for a walk. Sometimes sleep might just be the best thing to get you through until tomorrow. If you don't have anyone to talk to there are many different agencies that have people that you can call to just talk to someone. Even if you are not thinking about suicide, you can still call 1-800-suicide (784-2344). They are only there to listen and offer advice or guidance. I would then try to make an appointment with your doctor. Maybe some medication taken daily could prevent you from felling this pain all of the time. THere are many options out there, just talk to your doctor...right away. God Luck with the rest of the night. And remember it will get better. Things come adn go but are usually worse around the holiday season, I don't know why. Give them a call, you never know they just might be able to help.

Answer 3

Oh man! I thought I was the only one who ever felt like that.

Yeah I used to feel like I have to match my emotions to situations and feel like I'm being watched.
And being in a daze yep!

This was years ago and i told my teacher about it and they thought that i should see a DR.

But it went away on it's own. I learned not to pay attention when people say hurtful things.
And if they do. Just say Bite Me.
then go on with your life.

trying to pull the right faces and make the right jokes. yep! been there!

wow...Just be yourself.. I know it sounds corny but just try to have fun.

Do do the painkillers..they don't help. trust Me

Answer 4

I'm not a counselor or anything like that but I think you need to stop trying to make the people around you happy and start talking to them so they can try to make you happy. The more you try to make others happy and put your feelings off the worse you will feel and it wont get any better. If you need someone to talk to just im me My Yahoo Id is jesse45james. I'm usually always on and I'm a good listener. God Bless.

Answer 5

Well,I have been going insane for about 33 years so your not alone!!!!!!!!The world is an insane place the everyday pressures are tremendous these days.I'm glad to hear that you don't plan to kill yourself your such a beautiful looking girl.no matter where I am I feel like I should be somewhere else,ya know!!
Anyway no easy answers to this issue but It helps to write things down that are troubling you if you write it out you dont have to keep it in your head and in your thoughts so much.
Also take more showers or baths this help me anyway.
Stay clean,active,set goals 5 per day and meet the goals everyday they dont have to be large goals.be humble to yourself and others (being kind to others will help YOU more that them)

Answer 6

Try a change of pace. Go on vacation, take a trip to see a close friend and talk. A lot of people feel down around the holidays, just try to get some time for yourself and perhaps you will perk up.

Answer 7

I know how you feel. I've been there and know how bad it is to feel like you are living for others, living to please them, to keep them happy....It seems like no one else knows your pain and asll they see is your happy face and a great smile trying to hide your suffering and pain beneath your hurt soul. I guess as human beings at times we all tend to live for others, even when we don't feel good, we pretend that we do just to keep our loved ones happy an don't worry them. But don't let that get too extreme, you don't wanna take your own llife because of others. I know that you are depressed and you may feel like nothing works in your life. But the more negatively you think the worse it gets. Just try to see the positve side of things, see all things that god has given you. think that it could b emuch worse and then try to make the best of it. Seeing a therapist really helps. But you are the best person who canhelp yourself. Good luck and don't let these thoughts keep you down.

Answer 8

Maybe you need to go to the E.R. and say that you are suicidal even if you aren't. You can't keep on waiting for that referral. Get to a Dr. now! And if you go to the ER they will put you in the Hospital and you will get help right away.

Answer 9

I would think that there's something in your life that you need to change. something making you unhappy and you most likely know what it is. so change it. get away from the person or situation. If you really don't know and its not because of people around you then seek help from your doc. tell him what you told us and let him help you. good luck and don't hurt yourself or anyone else. 90% of America is depressed. your not alone.

Answer 10

I'm not going to try and diagnose you in one short column. You are in great need pf professional help. "Going insane" is a common phrase, but you still sound like you're in this world and trying to cope with how you feel. Being insane means you have lost touch with reality...you're clearly not there. Please call your doctor and ask him to refer you to a good physciatrist who can help you through this with medication and group therapy. Good luck and remember there are lots of people who value you as a person...you have worth!