Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

i just need a good laugh
:-D

2007-02-01 11:14:47 · 9 answers · asked by !!! 3

my friends say egg, my other friends say chicken, i say i don't have a clue.. what do you think?

2007-02-01 11:12:28 · 13 answers · asked by Terah B 1

you guys i need help its really simple, you just have to fill in these numbers 0 1 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1, and only use these numbers to get 6 okay i have to figure out 100 of them i am only at 26 and its hard please help. okay here is the steps you must do, box divided by box times box - box = 6, just right that down and put those numbers in for box and try to make the numbers = 6 just fill in the box and draw a box and those equation. thanks a lot

2007-02-01 11:05:47 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I,m greater than a carrot,better than a potatoe,gooder than a tomatoe,taste better than salad,look better than pickles,and people prefer our kind of taste cause were the opposite,what are we?

2007-02-01 11:03:48 · 2 answers · asked by Baby Doll 3

he asks the servant "Have you got Bruce Almighty?" And the servant replies "No, this is a chippy not a DVD store. The next day , the same man walks back into the chippy and asks "Have you got Borat?"
and the servant replies "No, i told you, this is a chippy, not a DVD store. The next day, he walks into the chippy and asks "Ok then Can I have a fish called Wanda?"

2007-02-01 11:01:46 · 7 answers · asked by Gezza D 2

they charged one and let the other one off.

2007-02-01 11:01:25 · 12 answers · asked by wilbur2lot 3

she opened it and said "What do I want with a rocket?" I replied "You wanted your own space now get in it and f**k off!!

2007-02-01 10:58:34 · 7 answers · asked by Gezza D 2

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a
large, raging violent river.
Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God,
please give me the strength to cross the river."
Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give
me strength and the tools to cross the river"
Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and
he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence
to cross this river."Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one
Hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

2007-02-01 10:56:49 · 11 answers · asked by Jodi C 5

A blonde Cherry 2000 goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

2007-02-01 10:56:17 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes.The bear went first and he said,I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest. And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, I want a motorcycle helmet. And he got his wish.
The bear went up and said, I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female. And he got his wish.
The rabbit said, I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet. And he got his wish.
The bear said, I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females. And he got his wish.
It was the rabbits turn, and he said, I wish that bear was gay.

2007-02-01 10:48:43 · 5 answers · asked by ~splood_5~ 1

Riddle #1: What is greater than God, Eviler than the Devil, the rich need it, the poor have it, and if you eat it, you'll die????

Riddle #2: What can you put in a barrel that will make the barrel weigh less???

2007-02-01 10:46:30 · 13 answers · asked by Erin P 2

the security guard was running after me and he said what are u doin with that and i said carrots peas and roast potatoes.

2007-02-01 10:43:54 · 6 answers · asked by Gezza D 2

f**k me pass the parcel was quick

2007-02-01 10:41:33 · 1 answers · asked by Gezza D 2

A spokesman for Tampax said they were happy to sponsor Big Brother whilst they are going through a bad period.

It's only a temporary measure though; they will pull out in the near future.

2007-02-01 10:40:57 · 8 answers · asked by Gezza D 2

One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man."

The other man then replies: "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

2007-02-01 10:37:37 · 6 answers · asked by Gezza D 2

2007-02-01 10:36:57 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

try to type ur name..... using ur elbow
gfilliamn- gillian

2007-02-01 10:33:20 · 20 answers · asked by ~*~Gilli A~*~ 3

Mine is:

What did the homeboy say when the house fell on him....

Get off me holmes!!!

HAHAHAHA!
Chessy-stupid, I know, but I love that one!

2007-02-01 10:31:53 · 19 answers · asked by LittleFreedom 5

It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is a doggie position.
The husband sits up and begs.

The wife rolls over and plays dead...

2007-02-01 10:26:44 · 6 answers · asked by Gezza D 2

2007-02-01 10:25:52 · 26 answers · asked by Chris 5

Ramalamalamalama Ding Dong. What were Mr & Mrs Ding Dong thinking when they named her?

2007-02-01 10:22:47 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

"Where the F**k is the ceiling

2007-02-01 10:19:06 · 7 answers · asked by Gezza D 2

have a sense of humor....

2007-02-01 10:17:28 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous

There were two dead guys on the floor. One had blood, water and glass all around him. The otherone was by a broken window with only water and glass around him. What happened?

2007-02-01 10:15:13 · 10 answers · asked by jaay a 1

the girl's age is twice as 4 ..........times 5 .....times 6 divided by the number of toes....write out her age without using numbers or letter to see who really knows keyboard secrets

2007-02-01 10:08:36 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

9 P in S A

2007-02-01 10:05:15 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-01 10:03:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Its for me, and there's no special occasion.

2007-02-01 09:47:54 · 11 answers · asked by Spartacus007 3

In this day and age do you think that Nuns should be armed.
What do you think the prefered weapon of a nun would be?
AK47.. ..rocket propelled grenade..... sword....... or just a good old fashioned meat clever?

2007-02-01 09:47:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

best answer for anyone who has best answer!

2007-02-01 09:31:36 · 17 answers · asked by y_nox2002 2