Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

a man rides into town on sunday, he stays two days and two nights and he rides out again on sunday, how is this possible?

2007-02-06 09:32:06 · 25 answers · asked by stacie_yst 3

they are made of wool?


please star if u like

2007-02-06 09:25:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

what do i get my not so boyfriend even though we both luv eachothr friend for valentines?

2007-02-06 09:23:38 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

so we were driving down the road in our canoe, and the wheel fell off. so how many pancakes does it take to fill an outhouse?

2007-02-06 09:17:28 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

because her idea of a second coming and his idea of a second coming are vastly different.

2007-02-06 09:14:06 · 6 answers · asked by Nafertiti 2

As I was walking down the lane, I saw a man doing just the same. He tipped his hat and drew his cane, in this story I have told you his name. What is his name?

2007-02-06 09:09:09 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

Well... You get somebody to put their fingers through the crease of a door. You then to go on the other side of the door and tell them him/her to hold an egg. This way since they're holding the egg through the crease of the door, they're trapped. The only way to get there fingers out of the crease of the door is for them to drop the egg.
This is additional:
Put their favorite shirt under the spot where they are holding the egg. This way, if they drop the egg, they will get raw egg all over their favorite shirt. (warning:it starts to get tyring when your holding the egg for too long.

2007-02-06 09:08:12 · 14 answers · asked by idiotzrock 1

Read this sentence:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE- SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF- IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count aloud the ' F' s in that sentence.
Count them ONLY ONCE; do not go back and count them again.

2007-02-06 09:05:38 · 65 answers · asked by Anonymous

i really want 2 go home but im afraid of the man in the mask .
my science teacher gave me this 1 and i cant figure it out!

2007-02-06 09:00:23 · 4 answers · asked by mikea 1

do them. We get some lame ones from our usual listeners, so if you got something good, let us know. Last week was icy hot on his balls. We need another good one this week. Leave us some ideas and listen in at http://radio.wlmu.lemoyne.edu:8000/main.mp3.m3u

2007-02-06 08:59:35 · 5 answers · asked by Michael 1

one fine day in the middle of the night,
two dead men got up too fight,
back to back they faced each other,
drew there swords and shot each other.

does anybody know any more...there is one with a house witewashed black.
nice fr the kids

2007-02-06 08:54:11 · 6 answers · asked by mowmowball 1

2007-02-06 08:44:01 · 11 answers · asked by flavorlicious 2

there's a riddle that you have to solve, it's on a piece of paper right below the rubbish-bin, you can move the words around to solve the riddle.

2007-02-06 08:43:38 · 1 answers · asked by sphocas 2

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.

"And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

2007-02-06 08:29:08 · 27 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7

The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

You have the right to remain silent....Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

"Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death"

"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

"Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition."

"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."

"How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself."

2007-02-06 08:27:31 · 14 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7

the maker doesn't need it. the buyer doesn't use it. the user uses it without knowing , what is it ?

2007-02-06 08:23:19 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

my sex hobbit baked me a cake today it said thankyou for loving me Jon, i tightened his throat clamp and said you call me master and not Jon, what can i do i feel awful about it.

2007-02-06 08:14:50 · 19 answers · asked by ........ 3

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill it.

Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else

Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

Adults are just kids who owe money.

I majored in liberal arts.Would you like fries with that?

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer

2007-02-06 08:13:42 · 10 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7

2007-02-06 08:10:17 · 2 answers · asked by B 1

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate. Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit. Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?" The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?" The man says, "Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."

2007-02-06 07:55:31 · 18 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7

Son:
Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.

Father:
That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!

2007-02-06 07:53:35 · 20 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7

Some people ask the secret of their long marriage.

They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home.

The Mrs. goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays.

2007-02-06 07:51:09 · 25 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7

i need to knowww

2007-02-06 07:49:23 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

just in case she had to draw blood

2007-02-06 07:46:30 · 15 answers · asked by frankyrulez 2

they are both 15 cents a screw

2007-02-06 07:45:00 · 9 answers · asked by frankyrulez 2

She is now HISTORY! lol

2007-02-06 07:42:55 · 9 answers · asked by Ghostly Ghost! 3

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's A.S.S.?
A: A Mechanic.

2007-02-06 07:42:19 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bustrip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?

2007-02-06 07:42:01 · 62 answers · asked by Shaz 5

looking for insightful answers to this simple question.

2007-02-06 07:41:53 · 14 answers · asked by Cody W 1

Must not harm anyone or any property. Must be FUNNY!

2007-02-06 07:40:08 · 24 answers · asked by Attolia 2