Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

This redhead math major was driving down a country road on spring break when she had to stop for a herd of sheep crossing the road. Being an opportunist, she decided to try out her math skills. She got out and asked the sheepherder,"If I can tell you how many sheep you have, can I have one?" Of course he took her up on it. She took out her pencil, some paper and a calculator and set about making graphs and quadrants and all that stuff. When she finished, she said,"You have 103 sheep," He said,"You got it. Go ahead and take your pick." She took one of the animals and put it in her car. Before she could leave, the sheepherder walked up to her window.....What did he say????

2007-01-21 17:23:54 · 7 answers · asked by stringer_G 3

He asks the madame if he could have a girl with herpies. The madame thought this was a strange request, but when the boy put $100 on the counter, she obliged.

The boy went into the room and had sex with woman several times to insure that he too got herpies. He was exiting the brothel when the madame called him over.

"Boy, why in the world would you want to get herpies?"

The boy explained," Well, I now have herpies and when I go home, I will bone my babysitter and give her herpies. My father will drive the babysitter home and when they have sex, she will give the herpies to my dad. Later tonight, my dad will sleep with my mom and he will give her herpies. After my dad leaves for work tomorrow, the milk man will stop by and have sex with my mom. My mom will give him herpies and that is the bastard who ran over my frog!"

2007-01-21 17:18:52 · 10 answers · asked by Mr Mojo Risin 4

Pop Pop, can i have ten dollars to but a guinea pig,his grandfather looks at him and said here sean is twenty dollars get yourself a nice Irish Girl.

2007-01-21 17:14:01 · 5 answers · asked by kman1830 5

My friend came up to me and asked if i wanted a frozen banana. I told her no, why would i want a frozen banana. but then i thought later ill want a regular banana, so yeah!!!

2007-01-21 17:13:27 · 9 answers · asked by Christal E 2

2007-01-21 16:57:32 · 22 answers · asked by stringer_G 3

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... keeps their foreskin from covering their face!!!!

2007-01-21 16:55:36 · 8 answers · asked by stringer_G 3

Why can't a woman, who is now living in Canada, not be buried in the USA?

2007-01-21 16:51:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man goes to a restraunt after getting back from a shipwreck, where he was the only survivor. His wife drowned at the scene of the shipwreck. He now goes to a restaurant and orders a seagull sandwich. After which he decides to kill himself, why?

2007-01-21 16:35:59 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

i reall need this answer plz help me
if you are the first i will give you best answer

2007-01-21 16:28:01 · 4 answers · asked by Mandy M 1

I was very excited about the ancient gold coin inscribed 49BC I had collected during my trip abroad. On return home, my archaeologist father had one look at it and pronounced it a fake. How did he know?

2007-01-21 16:20:59 · 18 answers · asked by Traveller 5

So there was this class that was learning about taste buds for the first time. The teacher decided that it might help the class if she gave them a "Taste Bud" test. She began to hand out Life Saver candies, and she wanted the class to guess what flavour they were.
The first Life Saver she passed out was a red one and the class responded with "This is Cherry!"
They easily got it right, so she decided to trick them with a green one. Still, the class easily got that one, they guessed lime.
Frustrated, the teacher passed out a clearish color Life Saver, in order to really trick them. She was right, because the class had no idea to what it was. She decided to give them a hint and she said, "It's what your parents call each other."
Suddenly, Little Jimmy yelled, "Noooo! Don't eat it, it's an *** hole!"

The flavor was honey.

2007-01-21 16:20:45 · 13 answers · asked by pikachu is love. 5

I need some information about him. can anyone give me some information how does he work and is he accurate?

2007-01-21 16:19:35 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I think I have shared this joke earlier but I don't remember exactly, well...

A preist was very fond of his rooster. One night his rooster goes missing, many efforts to trace out are fruitless. He decides to ask about it in morning prayer at the local church.

Next day morning in the church,

Preist: Has any one got the co*k?
All the men in the church gets up!

Preist: No, no that wasn't I meant. Has any one seen a co*k?
All the women stood up!

Preist: No, no that wasn't I meant. Has any one seen a co*k not belong to them?
Half of the women stood up!

Preist: No, no, no that wasn't I meant. Has any one seen my co*k?
All the nuns & two preist stood up!!!!

2007-01-21 16:17:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Unmedicated root canal?

NOT having an epidural when you really had your heart set on one?

Only noticing half a worm as you are throwing away an apple core?

Your significant other having Rush Limbaugh on auto replay?

When you hear a d*ngdong like this claiming to be Christian?

Not knowing who Rory Emerald is?

Or quite possibly,
Getting your iPod back from a so called friend with the ear buds all orange?

Your turn. I can’t think of anymore. Please, get creative, share the joy.

I honestly don’t make a habit of making fun of any group. But please, which is the better choice in response to stuff like this? Laughter? Embarrassment, if you’re white? Anger? Hom*cidal Fantasy? Hmmm? Laughter? Embarrassment? Anger? Hom*cidal Fantasy? I think laughter requires the least amount of therapy and/or jail time.

2007-01-21 16:07:53 · 7 answers · asked by Buttercup Rocks! 3

send me funny answers.

2007-01-21 16:04:34 · 20 answers · asked by vinu 2

2007-01-21 15:56:27 · 2 answers · asked by Give life. Be an organ donor! 4

2007-01-21 15:45:49 · 7 answers · asked by charles a m 2

A Vark.

2007-01-21 15:40:24 · 11 answers · asked by ........ 3

There were 3 sister ducks swimming in the pond, 1 behind the other in a line.

The 1st duck looks behind herself and says, "I see another duck behind me!"

The 2nd duck looks behind herself and says, "I also see a duck behind me!"

The 3rd duck looks behind herself and says, "I see a duck behind me too!"

If there were only 3 ducks swimming in the pond in a straight line, then how did the 3rd duck see a duck behind her as well?

**Common answers are "she saw her reflection" and "they were swimming in a circle", but these are not the answers. See if you can guess the true answer! Upon voting time, I'll post the true answer!

2007-01-21 15:32:14 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-21 15:28:20 · 7 answers · asked by Samuel B 1

What is a five-letter word that when you take two letters out, it still has six?

2007-01-21 15:24:42 · 9 answers · asked by raymond b 1

For example 20+20+20

and you cant use the example

email me if you cant seem to figure it out. Because there is an answer =]

2007-01-21 15:23:24 · 12 answers · asked by Bryan D 1

2007-01-21 15:08:00 · 21 answers · asked by Tiffany 3

seriously has anyone else read all of her questions

2007-01-21 15:03:29 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous

This is aggravating me..someone tell me what it is!

This is going to make you so MAD! There are three words in the English language that end in "gry". ONE is angry and the other is hungry. EveryONE knows what the third ONE means and what it stands for. EveryONE uses them everyday, and if you listened very carefully, I've given you the third word. What is it? _______gry

2007-01-21 15:03:05 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

A trooper pulls a car over and asks the driver why he was speeding. The guy answers he's a juggler on his way to do a show and didn't want to be late.

The trooper says he's fascinated by juggling, and if the guy would do some juggling for him, he wouldn't give him a ticket. The juggler says he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The deputy tells him he has flares in the trunk of his squad car and asks if he could juggle them. The juggler says he can, so the deputy lights three flares and hands them to the juggler.

While the man is doing the juggling act, a car pulls up behind the squad car, a drunk gets out, and watches the performance briefly. He then goes to the squad car, opens the rear door and gets in. The deputy sees him doing this, opens the door, and asks the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk answers: "Might as well take my a** to jail, there's no way in hell I can pass that test."

2007-01-21 14:57:56 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

Heres a song thats partly about her.Tell me what you think.


I dont want to wait for you to die, wake up the morning just to see you alive, oftend wondered why the world would cry bit** I dont want to wait for you to die.

You often always get what you want taut at the thought that it was your fault. By default you broke law, punching cameramen right in the jaw.

I dont want to see you with your money, laugh at the homeless cause you think thats funny.Bit** if you die I promise you this, you wont get missed just only dissed.

If I see you near a street I will ask you why, If you take time, 4 secounds to reply I know that lies and just like common flys.
Bit** I dont want to wait for you to die

2007-01-21 14:57:30 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

About a year ago, I had to stay in a hospital overnight for stomach pains. I got up in the middle of the night, and while I was in the hallway, my gown snagged on a laundry cart and ripped clean off me, while the orderly didn't notice!

In a panic, I had to run BUCK NAKED straight down the hall to my room, and a nurse noticed this, and came to my room and offered to get me a new gown with a smile on her face while I hit under my bed covers.

If YOU had been that nurse, what could you have said to make me blush about that one?

2007-01-21 14:54:48 · 6 answers · asked by Edward 1

i found a piece of paper with a 10 digit # on it. it uses every # from 0-9. the 1st 2 digits makes a # divisible by 2, the first three digits divisible by 3, and so on. the number is divisible by 0 and the first # is 3. what is it?

2007-01-21 14:53:14 · 11 answers · asked by R ♥ I ♥ P ♥ Casey Calvert 3

At the end of the night a man leaves the bar.
Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and slaps her in the face. Then he punches her in the stomach and knocks her over.

He proceeds to kick her several times and when he's done he bends down to her and says, "not so tough tonight, are you Batman?"

2007-01-21 14:49:06 · 19 answers · asked by heartspiritdivine 3