Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

Okey dokey. Here we go!:
Casey,John,Lacy,Ron,Sarah,Tyler,Pharah,and Skylar each have a pet. They each have either a cat,dog,rabbit,bird,fish,snake,lizzard,gunea pig,or hampster.
If Ron is allergic to any animal with fur or feathers,Casey is afraid of snakes, birds, and gunea pigs,
John has a dog, Sarah hates fish and birds, Tyler has a hampster, Pharah has a snake,Lacy has a lizzard,and Skylar has a cat ,then which animal is left over?

2007-01-26 14:03:22 · 13 answers · asked by Lynne 2

What did the pimp say to the Ho who had 2 black eyes?
Nothin he already told her twice.

2007-01-26 14:00:59 · 5 answers · asked by bodacious baby 7

in Nebraska
Persons with gonorrhea may not marry.
It is illegal to fly a plane while drunk.
If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.

2007-01-26 13:57:58 · 10 answers · asked by ◄BamaBoy205► 5

You are driving a bus to San Francisco, but along the way you have to drop off a mailman, a police officer, and a model. The Mailman gets dropped off 20 miles away, the police officer gets dropped off at 15 miles away, and the model gets dropped off 8 miles away from San Francisco. What color are the bus drivers eyes??

10 points to the one with the answer.

2007-01-26 13:57:56 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

One man is walking a tight rope between the two tallest buildings in New York City and the other is receiving oral from a 90 year old woman.........What are they both thinking?........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................ Don't look down.

2007-01-26 13:47:05 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Early today the oldfool got scammed the. So I thought i would pass
along this warning It seems important enough to share with the rest of you.

Generally, I hate the warnings that get sent around,
but I have to admit that this one is important.

Please protect everyone you know and all the
Answer people by posting this on Answers

If someone comes to your front door and says they are conducting
a survey and asks you to show them your bum, do NOT show them
your bum. IT IS A SCAM - they only want to see your bum.

I wish I'd got this warning yesterday. I feel so stupid and cheap.

Respectfully yours,


oldfool

2007-01-26 13:40:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

three naked guys are in a sonna (german, japanese, and hillbilly)
there is a beeping noise, and the german clicks his wrist and the beeping stops. they look at him with a ? on their faces, and he explains "my pager, i have a microchip underneath my skin"
then a phone rings, the japanese "answers" putting his hand on his ear, when everyone looks at him with a ? on their face, he explains "my phone just rang. i have a microchip underneath my skin"
the hillbilly feels left out for he has no technology in his skin. so he goes in the bathroom and walks out with toilet paper coming out of his a$s. they look at him with ??? on their faces, so he goes

"oh will you take a look at THAT! i just got a fax!"
HAHAHAHA




funny or not ? :P rate from 1-10

2007-01-26 13:40:19 · 26 answers · asked by sofia 3

A widow of only a few months goes out on her first date since the death of her husband. They have a great evening but when he makes a move, she holds him back saying, "I can't. I'm wearing black knickers because I'm still in mourning for my husband."

They continue to date, although it never goes past a goodnight kiss at the end of the evening.
Then a few weeks later in the middle of a passionate embrace, he gets out a packet of black condoms.

"What are those for?" she asks.

"I'd like to give you my condolences!" he replies. :)

2007-01-26 13:39:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was this Parakeet that went into a bar and asked the bartender for some peanuts. The bartender said "No we don't have any peanuts." Then the parakeet left the bar. The next day the parakeet came back to the same bar and asked the same bartender the same question "Do you have any peanuts?" So then the bartender again said the same thing that he had none. This went on for a week and finally the bartender said to the parakeet, "If you come in here and ask that GD question one more time, I'm gonna nail your beak to the bar counter." The next day the parakeet came back in and this time asked, "Do you hae any nails?" The bartender said, "No." Then the parakeet asked, "Do you have any peanuts?"

2007-01-26 13:37:36 · 8 answers · asked by Cuddly Lez 6

Ok here it is:
Jack and Jill travel to four different states Vermont, California, Utah, and Colorado while in these states they do one activity rock climbing, Biking, Rafting, or Canoeing they also go for four different reasons a lecture, to collect minerals, a PBS interview, and a conference, They go during the months of July August September or October. Here are the clues:

1. The state they visited for a lecture was visited at some point before Colorado
2. The trip to Vermont is not the one in which they went rock climbing
3. They went rafting during the trip that they collected mineral samples
4. They went to California exactly one month before the trip in which they went biking
5. They went to a conference at some point before, but not the month immediately before, they made a trip to be interviewed by PBS
6. They went canoeing during the trip to Colorado. They did not travel to Colorado for the PBS interview.

Any thoughts?

2007-01-26 13:35:22 · 3 answers · asked by Nathan H 2

I need jokes to tell to my 10-year-old brother. He loves jokes. ^_^! Try to keep them PG, ok?

2007-01-26 13:34:13 · 5 answers · asked by jessie_mccormick 1

Be emotional, think hard and please comment. There are no limitations here.

2007-01-26 13:28:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'd like a Barbie doll for my daughter," said the woman to the sales assistant "can you show me what you have?"

"Certainly madam. This is Barbie with her scuba diving gear at £9.50, here's Barbie dressed for the disco at £12, this is Barbie ready for the beach at £12 or there's divorced Barbie at £150."

"WHAT!" exclaimed the woman, "why is divorced Barbie so expensive?"

"Oh, that's easy to explain," replied the sales assistant....."divorced Barbie comes with the house, Ken's car, Ken's trailer and all Ken's other possessions." :)

2007-01-26 13:27:29 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

1.The picture on your driver's license will cry.

2.The stars you see will be in Alpha Centari,instead of the Milky Way.

3.The Elephant Man will think you're his twin.


Think of any others?

2007-01-26 13:21:45 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Three men were sitting on the commuter train going home.
"When I get in, I'm going to pour myself a double whisky, put my feet up and relax" said the first man.

"Well I'm going to strip off, get into the sauna and sweat out all the tension of the day," said the second man.

"And when I get in, I'm going to take the wife's knickers off," said the third man.

The other two looked at him and winked.
"You're a randy old devil," they said laughing.

"No, no, no, they're just too tight for me," he replied. :)

2007-01-26 13:20:50 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'll try to post it once my question shows up to all.

2007-01-26 13:18:21 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

what is friese greens magic box (p s: almost EVERYONE in the world has used one and/or had one used on them) first to get it right gets 10 points

2007-01-26 13:12:59 · 4 answers · asked by JUDI 3

It was Saturday night and three sisters were going out with their boyfriends.
"Bye mum," said the first sister, "I'm going out with Chas to listen to jazz."
Moments later the second sister came to say goodbye.
"I'm going out with Lance to dance."
Then the third sister walked in.
"Bye mum, I'm going out with Chuck."
"Oh no!" exclaimed the mother quickly. "You're not going anywhere." :)

2007-01-26 13:05:32 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

LEt me know if u have the answer!!! its kinda probably old but hey...i liked it and it took me a while!!!

Also i have another one...how many of each sex of animals did moses bring on the ark...this one is obvious...if u get it of course!!!

2007-01-26 13:04:34 · 8 answers · asked by ♪-~`*guitar♫chick*`~-♪ 3

M R ducks M r Not sar cdedbd wings y lb M R ducks .


Whoever solves or gets close will get 10 points . good luck

2007-01-26 13:01:01 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Best Joke Wins
Hello, Send in your favorite jokes the best joke will win 10 Points ! please give this compo a star !

2007-01-26 12:50:24 · 4 answers · asked by WebJunkie 1

Hello, Send in your favorite jokes the best joke will win 10 Points ! please give this compo a star !

2007-01-26 12:43:15 · 32 answers · asked by WebJunkie 1

I think it would be when your butt itches, and you are unable to scratch it. Comments?

2007-01-26 12:41:59 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Opens the car door. :) Comments?

2007-01-26 12:40:17 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Don't think too long about this one, just think about this one.

2007-01-26 12:36:47 · 34 answers · asked by Double H 2

2007-01-26 12:24:46 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

I was once introduced to a woman I've never met before. She told me about herself. I didn't say a word. She then told me more about herself. I still didn't get to say a word. She then said more things about herself. Finally, I said one word and she knew she was going to die soon. What was the word?

2007-01-26 12:22:18 · 24 answers · asked by level219 1

a patient was running around the mental hospital going beep beep get out the way,another patient said to the doctor why does he do that day in day out ?the doctor says well he thinks he is a car.
the patient says why don't you tell him he's not?
the doctor replies are you mad i get £5 a week for washing him.

2007-01-26 12:12:53 · 13 answers · asked by gundaewoo 2

How Long is a Chineese Man's name?!?!

HAHAHA Tell me if u get it!!!

2007-01-26 12:05:06 · 27 answers · asked by ♪-~`*guitar♫chick*`~-♪ 3

2007-01-26 12:02:34 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous