Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

something like that but messy. Just curious

2007-01-02 12:13:07 · 9 answers · asked by hi hi 2

question ? How do I stop thick buggers on here answering jokes with " what is the question ? Thick as pig S**t some of the people on here !!!!!

2007-01-02 12:12:52 · 2 answers · asked by Shredder 6

and there were these pensioners all hanging from the ceiling above the dance floor, Horrified I asked a redcoat what the hell was going on.
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HE TOLD ME IT WAS A SWINGING SIXTIES WEEKEND

2007-01-02 12:04:23 · 9 answers · asked by jabelite 3

I got a new e-mail address. Ha! Now I got a profile on Yahoo! Answers.

2007-01-02 12:04:04 · 4 answers · asked by Jibbs Boo 2

Catagory: Phrase

FILL IN THE BLANK SPOTS WITH LETTERS. EACH LINE REPRESENT ONE WORD.
_ _ C _ _ D _ _ <-- THAT IS ONE WORD

B _ _ E _ I _ S
N _ T
_ _ C _ _ D _ D


Winning: 10 Points
Good Luck!

2007-01-02 11:59:22 · 7 answers · asked by Shorty 4

2007-01-02 11:57:34 · 20 answers · asked by pvamu19 1

2007-01-02 11:57:14 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

of his patients that he is growing a new penis out of his forehead. Oh no says the bloke i cant go around the rest of my life looking at a penis !! You won't have to says the doctor your new balls will cover your eyes !!!!

2007-01-02 11:56:39 · 13 answers · asked by Shredder 6

Who likes PP? if you know what it is, it's a short name for a game and do you like it?

2007-01-02 11:50:04 · 3 answers · asked by HaHaHoHoHeeHee 3

2007-01-02 11:42:29 · 9 answers · asked by punk_ass 2

A man was in his front yard mowing the grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house, went to the mailbox again and opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

She replied, "There certainly is!"


My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

2007-01-02 11:41:07 · 6 answers · asked by Mike H 4

A pan! Duh!

2007-01-02 11:40:06 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-02 11:32:19 · 11 answers · asked by u_better_remember_me 3

More evil then satin,
The poor have it,
If you eat it, it will kill you.
What is it?

2007-01-02 11:23:25 · 19 answers · asked by lovethyloverlovesthlovethee 1

2007-01-02 11:11:59 · 18 answers · asked by punk_ass 2

testosterone to cure a mild case of hormone imbalance. After two weeks she goes back to the Doctor to see how she is getting on.You seem fine now says the doc, any problems ? Just one she says, increased hair growth. Thats normal says the doc, whereabouts on the body have you noticed it ? Slight increase on my legs she says but the most is on my balls !!!!!

2007-01-02 11:10:50 · 11 answers · asked by Shredder 6

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

2007-01-02 11:06:13 · 4 answers · asked by Mrs.Neville 4

Five tips for a woman....

1 It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.


OUR DICTIONARY (what they should memorize):

FINE
>>> This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
>>> If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes
is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
>>> This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
>>> This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

2007-01-02 11:04:24 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-02 11:00:41 · 15 answers · asked by Jesse 1

At the college, male & female students were told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'

Females wrote : When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and that they respect each other very much, then, it is spiritually and morally acceptable to society that they both engage themselves in the act of physical sex with one another.

Men wrote : 'I love sex.'

2007-01-02 10:41:49 · 36 answers · asked by a m 4

This guy one night felt like stopping at a bar to get a beer before he went home.He pulled up to the bar and got out and walked in. There wasnt really anyone there but a few people.

He then goes over and sits next to some big redneck at the bar. The big guys says to him "why you sitting next to me i never said you could".The man says back "what are you talking back".This gets the big guy mad so he hits em one good time and says "thats kung fu from china".

well the big guy goes to the restroom and the guy gets back on his stole.The big guy comes back out and says "i thought i told you already you cant sit there". So the big guy hits him angian. "Thats judo from japan". Well the guy is getting mad so get walks out to his car. He comes back into the car and hits the big guy one good time and knocks him out. He gets on the bar stole agian and says to the bar tender "i would like another beer, and tell the big guy when he wakes up that thats a tire iron from sears".

2007-01-02 10:36:43 · 8 answers · asked by LazY 2

Two farmhands went to a country dance. One of the hands, Joe,
had a wooden eye and was very self-conscious about it.
Joe told the other guy, Bill, that he was worried about someone
saying something about his wooden eye. Bill told him not to
worry because it was a good eye and most people couldn't tell
it from a real eye.

Bill danced nearly every dance as there was a lot of farm girls
there. Joe just didn't dance at all. Finally, Bill went over to
Joe and asked if he had danced with any of the girls.

Joe told him that he had not because he was concerned about
them saying something about his wooden eye. Bill told him
again not to be concerned about it. Bill pointed to a girl
sitting across the room and told Joe,

"See that good-looking girl over there? She's got a hair-
lip and hasn't danced but once or twice. I danced with her
once and she's an excellent dancer and real polite. Go over
there and ask her to dance. She won't say anything about
your wooden eye."

2007-01-02 10:27:29 · 18 answers · asked by a m 4

Justin

2007-01-02 10:21:22 · 32 answers · asked by Buffy 4

Sam wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces
himself to open his
eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of
aspirins and a glass of
water on the side table. He sits down and sees his
clothing in front of
him, all clean and pressed.

Sam looks around the room and sees that it is in
perfect order, spotless,
clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the
aspirins and notices a
note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove,
I left early to go
shopping. Love You!"


So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a
hot breakfast and the
morning newspaper. His son is also at the table,
eating. Sam asks, "Son,
what happened last night?"

2007-01-02 10:11:47 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.

His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married for a long time."

2007-01-02 10:11:30 · 23 answers · asked by a m 4

o,t,t,f,f,s,s,e and explain why

this took nasa a week to figure out
and todlers an hour

2007-01-02 10:10:06 · 19 answers · asked by Jamie H 2

The Doctor says "what's the problem?" "My vagina whistles when I walk." says the woman. The Doc gets the woman to walk around for a bit and is totally amazed by the volume and the clarity of the whistling coming from her punani. Unable to find the cause of the problem, he records the whistling into his dictaphone. The next day he goes to see his friend who is a specialist in this field, and plays him the tape. "What do you think of this?" says the Doc as he presses play. "Sounds like some c*nt whistling to me!" says his friend.

2007-01-02 10:06:55 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-02 10:00:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Joke A

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"


Joke B

A lady at a party goes up to me and say's, "Man, you are drunk." I say , "yeah but you are ugly. but in the morning I'll be sober."

2007-01-02 09:57:12 · 55 answers · asked by a m 4

the first man to chew or the first man to swallow?

2007-01-02 09:56:09 · 7 answers · asked by talofa lava 2