Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

A cupcake!

2007-01-04 12:09:56 · 23 answers · asked by Curious 2

What about him?

He keeps getting gutterballs!

2007-01-04 12:06:18 · 9 answers · asked by Curious 2

do u write with...
right or left

2007-01-04 12:02:25 · 22 answers · asked by Sultan Cartman 5

Trading faces!

2007-01-04 12:01:59 · 11 answers · asked by Curious 2

i give you wierd superheros names and you have to tell me there powers

Malta kid
iron butt man
cd gal
bedsheet woman
Yahoo Answers

2007-01-04 11:59:32 · 6 answers · asked by JEFF HARDY #1 FAN 3

For Example
Humpback whales
Sperm Whales
Id-a-ho

2007-01-04 11:58:29 · 15 answers · asked by Curious 2

2007-01-04 11:57:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any f***ing bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any f***ing bread,
ask me

Again and I'll nail your f***ing beak to the bar, you irritating
B*****d of A

f***ing bird!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

2007-01-04 11:55:20 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-04 11:52:58 · 10 answers · asked by Curious 2

there was a boy and he had 2 go 2 the bathroom.he asked his teacher,may i go 2 the bathroom?she said say ur ABCs 1st.he said,A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z.she said,but,wheres the P???????he said,running down my leg.!funny isn't it?????i am the king of all jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!funny aren't i???????

2007-01-04 11:52:55 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-04 11:51:34 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Have you ever smelled mothballs?












How did you spread his little legs apart without breaking them?

2007-01-04 11:43:43 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

James: "Don,these buttermilk biscuits is really really REALLY good!" "Mmmmmm!"
Don:.....................
James:"whats the recipe?"
Don: "Well,....thats kind of a secret"
James:"Well,I dont mean to be greedy,but ...can i get me a few more of these?"
Don: "sure,eat em all"
after eating all 10 of Don's Biscuits ,James says "Mmmm!MMMM!!
mmmm!" with each bite
James: You should go into business! this'll REALLY sell!!!"
Don: "Well,i CANT,.....Because .....the Milk is HOMEMADE!"
James: "Huh? What do u mean?"
Don: "what i mean....Is: I MADE the milk! I whipped it up Myself!"
James: "WHAAT?!!! Man,STOP pLaYiN!"
Don: "I'm not playin,..Nukka! I'm FOR REAL!!!!"

2007-01-04 11:42:47 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-04 11:38:20 · 38 answers · asked by JEFF HARDY #1 FAN 3

its ARRRRRRRSSSSSEEEEE

2007-01-04 11:24:04 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

Please answer if you know. If you dont... dont bother

2007-01-04 11:23:50 · 11 answers · asked by klk17 3

An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work.

His only son, who would have helped him, was in Long Kesh Prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Shortly, he received this reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Now plant your potatoes, Dad; It's the best I
could do from here."

2007-01-04 11:23:18 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.

After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."

"That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.

"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer. "Correct," replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"

The lady says "yes you're getting herpes" that's why I came today.

2007-01-04 11:19:37 · 18 answers · asked by OnTheProwl007 4

If he's got a quarter pounder he's a Macdonald

2007-01-04 11:16:28 · 22 answers · asked by jabelite 3

A scot pulled up and said he thought the engine might be flooded.
I asked "are you a mechanic?"
He said "NO, I'M A MCTAVISH"

A while later another drunken scotsman asked me what was wrong, I said "Piston Broke"
He Replied "AND SO AM I"

So I flagged another motorist down and asked if he could help me,
he said "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist"
So I asked "well can you give me a toe?"

2007-01-04 11:15:04 · 17 answers · asked by jabelite 3

1. What language is spoken in France?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions. OR Give the first name of PIERRE Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army (d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope? (Check only one) (a) Jewish (b) CATHOLIC (c) Hindu (d)Swedish (e) Agnostic

5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 1?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (Approximate)

8. What are people in America's far north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (C) NORTHERNERS

9. Spell -- CAT, DOG, PIG

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.

EXTRA CREDIT: Using your fingers, count from 1-5

2007-01-04 11:13:51 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

however the milkman saw him coming and managed to escape.....

the hound.....

despairing in saddness the irishman went to his closet and removed his pistol.......he held it to his own head
with the sole intention of ending his own life......his cruel wife started to snigger....the irish man said




I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE LAUGHING AT..............YOU'RE NEXT!!!

2007-01-04 11:00:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Grandma Goes to Court

Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?

Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.

Defense! Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"….And that's when I shot the son of a *****

2007-01-04 10:53:52 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ancient Chinese Proverbs...

Virginity like bubble - one prick all gone

Man who run in front of car get tired

Man who run behind car get exhausted

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
Man with one chopstick go hungry
Man who scratches *** should not bite fingernails
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it
Man who drive like hell bound to get there
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement
Man who fishes in other man's well catches crabs

2007-01-04 10:53:36 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

The mans wife said "are we going to die" he said "yes darling we are" so she said "well make me feel like a woman just once more" so he took of his shirt and trouers and said " here you are, iron these".

2007-01-04 10:47:58 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-04 10:46:23 · 12 answers · asked by linda g 2

He Said "Doc, I think I'm going deaf"

Doctors asks "what's the symptons?"

" A small yellow cartoon family but what's that got to do with it?"

2007-01-04 10:43:25 · 13 answers · asked by jabelite 3

2007-01-04 10:36:46 · 11 answers · asked by woodchip1960 2

Icy dead people!

2007-01-04 10:32:40 · 9 answers · asked by trickyrick32 4

The eldest daughter potato said" Ive got some thing to tell you, I'm getting Married"
"Oh" Said mother potato "I hope he's nice, Is he a King Edward or a Jersey Royal"
"No mum, I'm going to marry Harry Carpenter" Said the daughter potato.
Mother potato screamed
"Oh my God, How could you, He's just a common Tater"

2007-01-04 10:31:41 · 17 answers · asked by jabelite 3