Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, "he's behind you!"

2007-01-05 03:44:31 · 8 answers · asked by joanne g 2

2007-01-05 03:41:33 · 10 answers · asked by Mike C 1

The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball.

The game of choice for frontline workers is football.

The game of choice for middle management is tennis.

The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.

Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are
ps no offence meant to anyone

2007-01-05 03:41:26 · 19 answers · asked by a 1

They both have blue helmets!

2007-01-05 03:40:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

THE

2007-01-05 03:39:53 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Tell me what you think of these jokes


joke 1


Rodger got back from school and told his gay brother

What do you call nuts on the wall

his brother was confused and said

O wallnuts right?

Roger said yea

Then he said what do you call nuts on your chest

his brother said, chest nuts right?

roger said yeah

then he said what do you call nuts on your chin?

his bro said i dont know

He said heres a hint, i saw it last night

His bro said uhhhh chinnuts?

rodger said ....no

A .d.i.c.k. IN YOUR MOUTH

2007-01-05 03:37:07 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

WHAT COMES NEXT??

1, 5, 20, 300 WHAT # IS NEXT??

16, 12, 20, 16, 24, 20 WHAT # IS NEXT

I MADE THESE UP MYSELF, SEE IF YOU CAN SOLVE THEM

2007-01-05 03:33:11 · 8 answers · asked by It's MIRANDA!!!! 4

2007-01-05 03:30:52 · 6 answers · asked by yourmygoodfeeling 3

2007-01-05 03:30:09 · 3 answers · asked by forest lover 2

2007-01-05 03:29:09 · 3 answers · asked by yourmygoodfeeling 3

i got 2 violation notices today for 2 good tame jokes whats up with people on this site.right any joke that i dont think is funny orit contains lewdness i am going to violate lets all do it LETS REBEL AND MAKE THE YAHOO POLICE DO THEIR JOBS PROPERLY.

2007-01-05 03:29:05 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-05 03:28:34 · 6 answers · asked by yourmygoodfeeling 3

Three Drunk Men
The first guy said, ''Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.''

The second guy said, ''Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI.''

The third guy says, "Man that was nothing. I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.''

Then the first guy said, ''No -- you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"

2007-01-05 03:26:26 · 30 answers · asked by Janey 3

John and Jill were about to go into his apartment, and before he could open his door, Jill said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door."
John says, "Well, give me some examples."
Jill proceeds to tell him, "Well, the first way is, if a guy shoves his key into the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn't for me."
"The second way is if a man fumbles around and can't seem to find the hole, then that means he is inexperienced and that isn't for me either."
Then Jill said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?"
John says, "Well, first, before I do anything else, I lick the lock."

2007-01-05 03:24:30 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

A big Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.
Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.
He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning, a delicacy!"
The cowboy, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation down here! Bring me an order!"
The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy"!
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

2007-01-05 03:22:26 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

ok, me being ever so slightly childish and bored, i'm going to ask people to follow on from my unfinished sentence. u can say anything u like but plz don't let it be too commonplace. i'll start it off nice and simple

i woke up a feisty human being with socks on ....

2007-01-05 03:09:46 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-05 03:07:17 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

They are truely awesome! Especially "Halo"

2007-01-05 03:02:27 · 4 answers · asked by sweetpeasmum 4

A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage.The man calls an usher over and whispers, "I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher nods and says he will be back shortly.Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up.

Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, "Follow me." The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle."Thanks so much," says the theatergoer, "This seat is perfect." He then hands the usher a quarter.

The usher looks down at the quarter, leans over and whispers, "The butler did it in the parlor with the candlestick."

2007-01-05 03:00:53 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

My now 15 year old son asked me this when he was only 4 years old. He still has such talent too.

2007-01-05 03:00:17 · 19 answers · asked by sweetpeasmum 4

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.

"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

2007-01-05 02:58:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

In the childs rhyme "Hickory Dickory Dock" what is the mouses name.

2007-01-05 02:55:59 · 9 answers · asked by GRANDMA 3

A note from a doc
Said give me a knock
I said what the hell
I gave him a yell

He said listen to me
If you want to be free
Of needles and pills
And big doctor bills

So he gave me his drink
And said what do you think
My stomach then curled
And I wanted to hurl

I started to itch
You son of a Witch
He then gave me a wink
Which made me think

So I looked around
Then came a frown
A sign in the back
Said he was a quack

2007-01-05 02:47:33 · 10 answers · asked by gary_b04901 1

imagine what happens if we are told nothing but to have 1 car per household otherwise your other cars would be towed away because of global warming and encouragement of global warming. What would happen? be creative and imaginative and use HUMOUR if you must. Shall i tell you what i see...
i see....i see a car. a car full of squabbling kids and adults in the morning for the school/college/work run. they have extra passengers oooooops, oh no, the police! OMG! the police. they have thier sirens on and a few get down between the knees of the others and yup they being naughty, looking up skirts and u knw the rest. anyway, the police chases after them. mum in driving seat acts casual. remember she got teh right amount of passsengers coz of the lil ones dwn between legs having fun. anyway, she gets told to park up on the left and the policeman pokes his head in through the window. hmmmm says the policeman, looking back at the smiling adult who are in pain coz the lil kids in back are poking

2007-01-05 02:33:09 · 17 answers · asked by allgiggles1984 6

2007-01-05 02:22:04 · 29 answers · asked by Melissa 5

can u solve this riddle?

im the begining of eterntiy,
im the end of time and space,
im the begining of every end,
in the end of every race...

{hint: think of spelling, letters, not wat the words mean}

ill post the answer in moments to come....

2007-01-05 02:20:57 · 7 answers · asked by his habibah 1

ok a girl is in a room with no windows and no doors just 4 walls and a mirror but yet she gets out how did she get out?

2007-01-05 02:15:24 · 10 answers · asked by monkeygirl777 2

was in a discussion with a colleague and they looked at a work related problem that potentially could be hard but they could find an easy solution...

What would they say? Most would say "Its not Rocket Science!" What would they say?

2007-01-05 02:09:03 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on - the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with-my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She - tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth-out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and-she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?" the old man replied, "yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the DARN jar open!"

2007-01-05 02:00:59 · 22 answers · asked by a 1

2007-01-05 01:48:17 · 13 answers · asked by McQ 3