Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

2007-01-05 06:28:26 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-05 06:25:52 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

a blonde, a redhead and a brunette are after robbing a bank and the cops are after them so they run in2 a near-by barn. there are 3 sacks on the ground and they each hide in 1. the cops come in, kick the 1st bag 2 c whats in it, the brunette is in it and says "meow", so the cops say "it's ok it's only a cat". they move on and kick the 2nd bag, the redhead is in it and says "woof", so the cops say "its ok, its only a dog". so finally, they come 2 the 3rd bag that the blonde is in, they kick it and they blonde shouts ou "POTATOES"! HA HA! !!!!!!

2007-01-05 06:23:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I need money.

2007-01-05 06:12:58 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-05 06:09:31 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

An Australian bloke is travelling around the Greek islands. He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian barmaid. As she takes his order, a Foster’s, she notices his accent. Over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place. Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him. As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees. The next night the bloke turns up again. Again he orders Foster’s and after showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree. This goes on for five nights. On the sixth night the bloke comes in again, orders a Foster’s but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him. She asks him where he’s from in Australia. “Melbourne,” he tells her. “So am I. What suburb?” she enquires. “Glen Iris,” he replies. “That’s amazing!” she says excitedly, “so am I! What street?” “Cameo Street,” he replies. “This is unbelievable!” she says, her voice quavering. “What number?” “Number 20,” he replies. She is totally astonished. “You are NOT going to believe this!” she screams, "but I'm from number 22! My parents still live there!” “I know,” he says. “Your Dad gave me $1,000 to give to you.”

2007-01-05 06:08:02 · 13 answers · asked by richard_beckham2001 7

A young brunette goes into the doctor's examination room and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible" says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere she touches makes her scream.
The doctor says: "You're not really a brunette, are you?" She says: "No, I'm really a blonde". "I thought so" says the doctor. "You have a broken finger."

2007-01-05 06:06:35 · 16 answers · asked by OO7 3

Two Irish farmers bought a truckload of watermelons, paying one dollar apiece
for them. Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the same
price they'd paid for them.
After counting their money at the end of the day, they realise they'd ended up
with no more money than they'd started with. "See!" said one. "I told you we shoulda
got a bigger truck."

2007-01-05 06:01:34 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

http://www.neopets.com/games/conundrum.phtml

2007-01-05 06:01:01 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

For two beers, one for him and one for his little friend. With that the man plonks an old lamp on the bar and reaches into his pocket and takes out a miniture piano with a miniture man playing it. The bartender is amazed and asked where the hell the little man playing the piano had come from. The man replied he'd found this lamp cleaned it up and out popped a genie. The bartender was now really wowed by this and asked if he too could rub the lamp and see what happened, the man agreed and passed the lamp to the b.tender. After some rubbing the genie appeared and told the b.tender his wish was his command. The b.tender knew straight away what he wanted and asked for a mill in the bank. The genie squinted his eyes and asked him to speak up, the b.tender yet again asked for his cool mill and again the genie seemed to not hear what the b.tender was saying. "Is he deaf?" Asked the b.tender, "He must be" Said the man pointing to the little piano player, "I asked for a nine inch penis."

2007-01-05 05:55:03 · 2 answers · asked by mizzsquitz 3

why are men like postmen?


they like to empty their sacks as soon as possible


PS, i'm a man just want to get a response

2007-01-05 05:54:07 · 19 answers · asked by EWE ANCHOR 3

cos thier horns dont work

2007-01-05 05:46:08 · 17 answers · asked by the man 1

Mr Whodyunickabollockoff.

2007-01-05 05:23:17 · 8 answers · asked by mizzsquitz 3

I feel like a pair of Curtains, what should I do?

2007-01-05 05:21:12 · 7 answers · asked by Fu Manchu 4

Love to hear!!!

2007-01-05 05:20:30 · 9 answers · asked by Radio Ga Ga 73 4

2007-01-05 05:07:16 · 15 answers · asked by JC 7

2007-01-05 05:06:52 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.
One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."

The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."

POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."

POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.

The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"

The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."

2007-01-05 04:49:59 · 10 answers · asked by Bubblegum_Faeire 3

it was charged with kidnapping....

points to whoever groans loudest x

2007-01-05 04:39:00 · 20 answers · asked by aria 5

i really dont get it lol!

2007-01-05 04:37:50 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

she has science exibition in her school and her topic is "my time for fun" under this heading she has to talk for 3minutes on how important 'play' is in a childs life and also about indoor and out door games can someone help me in writing a small 3 minutes talk for her as my english is poor....... and i choose to put my question under this catogery as i find people are more smarter here.......

2007-01-05 04:37:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man and his little girl were on an overcrowded elevator. Suddenly a lady in front turned around, slapped him, and left in a huff. The little girl remarked, " I didn't like her either, Daddy. She stepped on my toe so I pinched her."

2007-01-05 04:35:09 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-05 04:22:35 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-05 04:07:31 · 6 answers · asked by Vilas D 1

2007-01-05 04:05:05 · 6 answers · asked by Wow! I have a pig nose! 4

i saw a man in the supermarket yesyerday rubbing garlic and chickpeas over himself. I asked him what he was doing to which he replied ;

I'm a hummus-sexual

2007-01-05 04:02:33 · 11 answers · asked by EWE ANCHOR 3

Something about ice cream having no bones, but if anyone knows the full nonsense riddle and answer, do tell me, please!

2007-01-05 04:01:54 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was this man called Mr Brown and he had a harsh breaking point with his wife. His wife arranged one day that after work at 6 she will make dinner and they will talk about there future from there. She warned him that he MUST be there.

Next day he was a work as usual. It normally took 1 hour before getting home from work. But on that day, his boss gave him extra work. As he did it he got more and more woried. But when he finished he was in a panick because it was 5:15pm already!

He went on his car and drove at full speed home. However his tires were all worn out he didn't notice because he was in such a worry, because he had to get there on time!

On a sharp corner he was a a huge speed and the streets had gone icy. A dog without a lead walks onto the road. He tries to stop but he hits a lampost and dies.

Whoose fault was it?

His wife? His Boss? Himself? The weather? The relationship? The lampost? The car? The dog?

2007-01-05 03:56:23 · 18 answers · asked by muffin2880 1

2007-01-05 03:53:36 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

In a prison 3 prisoners
1.the first one will be free in 3 years
2.the second in 8 years
3.the last one took a sentence for life
One day the big boss decided that he will cut half the time for each one of them. So the first has another 1.5 years the second will be free in 4 years and the last???

2007-01-05 03:47:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous