Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

The man is afraid to go home because of the man in the mask there. Who is the man in the mask?

2006-12-04 14:14:07 · 23 answers · asked by frkonalsh2006 2

you take the P from patience and the F from way ..!!
your right there is no F-in-way

2006-12-04 14:12:59 · 20 answers · asked by dawn p 1

What is cheese made from?
What do dairy farms produce?
What do cows drink?

2006-12-04 14:09:44 · 25 answers · asked by KEITH A 2

A man hangs himself in the middle of a room. He is hanging about five feet off of the ground. The room is totally empty except for a big puddle of water underneath the man. How did he hang himself?

2006-12-04 14:07:52 · 9 answers · asked by frkonalsh2006 2

there is a 1 story house on an ordinary street in an ordinary town. Inside that house lives a mom, a dad, a son, and a daughter. they are all blue. IN fact everything In the whole neighboor hood is blue. The dog, the cat ,The trees, the cars, the guitars, the ipod, the clothes, the shoes, the hair, the doors, the jewelery, the soccer balls and even then sun. there isnt even a black part of their eye becuase it is blue!!!!

(i wonder) what color are the stairs in that house?

2006-12-04 14:02:38 · 17 answers · asked by angel27 2

You are stuck in a room with no windows or doors. A solid room. The only things in this room are a mirror and a table. How do you excape?

2006-12-04 13:48:06 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two women look exactly alike, they are born on the exact same day, and they have the same last name. But they are not twins. How can this be?

2006-12-04 13:44:05 · 13 answers · asked by KEITH A 2

The W.N.B.A.

2006-12-04 13:41:27 · 19 answers · asked by danman17a 2

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain in is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied "My wife's first husband."

2006-12-04 13:38:58 · 19 answers · asked by stone 4

I was really bored one day , so I went to my basement and cloned myself. There was a problem though, no matter what I did the only words that my clone would say were obscene. I couldn't figure out what to do, so finally I decided to take my obscene clone for a drive and while we were driving I seen a cliff so I stopped and we got out to see the view I'm not sure what came over me but all of a sudden I pushed my clone off the cliff, and I was arrested for making an obscene clone fall!

2006-12-04 13:35:35 · 17 answers · asked by Kimberly 2

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters", said the Professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy"?
"Sadness", answered the student.
"And the opposite of depression"?, he asked of the young lady from Arizona.
"Elation", said she.
"And you, Sir", he said to the young man from Texas, "How about the opposite of woe"?
The young Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up".

2006-12-04 13:35:19 · 9 answers · asked by jfmm 7

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6K-WzcuNTE

2006-12-04 13:27:32 · 10 answers · asked by ♥michele♥ 7

A guy walks into a Phyciatrists office with nothing on except suran wrap from his waist to his knees. The Phyciatrist says "I can clearly see your nuts."

What do you think?

2006-12-04 13:25:17 · 13 answers · asked by eddie h 1

A traveling salesman was stranded in the tiniest town in Ireland. He went to the door of a little hotel and knocked.
"Sorry, we haven't a spare room," said the manager, "but you're welcome to share with a little redheaded schoolteacher, if that's okay."
"Oh, that'll be great", said the salesman, grinning from ear to ear. "And don't worry, I'll be a real gentleman".
"Just as well,' said the manager," So will the little redheaded schoolteacher".

2006-12-04 13:25:04 · 5 answers · asked by jfmm 7

The riddle goes...These 3 guys are out in a car...And it is pouring the rain...The storm gets kinda bad so they decide to stop and go into a church..They all 3 get out of the car at the same time and go in...But the third guy doesn't get wet? Why?

2006-12-04 13:24:14 · 11 answers · asked by IAmNameless 1

2006-12-04 13:21:27 · 17 answers · asked by Sk8er Matt 1

when is his birthday and when was the statement made?

2006-12-04 13:19:17 · 8 answers · asked by soliloquy_21 1

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a nice Christmas tree.
After hours of traipsing around in the freezing temperature, dragging their axes, and a close call with some hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I am chopping down the next tree I get near. I don't give a d@mn anymore if it's decorated, or not"!

2006-12-04 13:14:51 · 19 answers · asked by jfmm 7

2006-12-04 13:04:40 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-04 13:04:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ok so there is a lady who lives on the 21st floor. She ONLY takes the stair EXCEPT when it's raining and their people in their she takes the elevator. Why does she do that?

2006-12-04 13:01:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Alright....Here goes:

3 guys die in a boat on christmas...and Saint Peter tells them they cannot get into heaven until the present something that represents Christmas. The 1st guy takes out a lighter, and says the flame is like a candle;and he goes to heaven. The 2nd guy pulls out keys and claim they ring like bells;he goes to heaven. The 3rd guy pulls out a pair of panties and says it is like a cow....and he goes to heaven as well.....

That's the joke...WTF DOES IT MEAN!?!?!?.....I don't get it!

2006-12-04 13:01:06 · 6 answers · asked by ♥♣♠Dragon Dust♠♣♥ 2

My neighbour said '' oh my goodness, are you going to help??'' I said '' NO!!! 6 will be enough ''

2006-12-04 12:37:41 · 3 answers · asked by mazza71 2

2006-12-04 12:37:23 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is black and white and red all over?

2006-12-04 12:19:33 · 10 answers · asked by KEITH A 2

2006-12-04 12:16:04 · 10 answers · asked by Aaron K 1

First make a hole in the ice, then sprinkle frozen peas around it.
When Mr Polar Bear comes up for a pea..................................
Kick him in the Ice Hole!

2006-12-04 12:07:40 · 25 answers · asked by dawleymouse 4

PLEASE/EXCUSE ME/HELLO/GOODBYE/GOOD MORNING/GOOD AFTERNOON/GOOD EVENING/GOOD NIGHT/SALAD/MACARRONI/BREAD/CHEESE/PENCIL/BOOK/
CHAIR/DESK/YOU'RE WELCOME

2006-12-04 12:03:54 · 6 answers · asked by nikita 2

17. "I finished the Oreos"

16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!"

14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"

13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl"

12. "Darned if you ain't about 5 pounds away from a surprize visit from that Richard Simmons fella. '

11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt!"

10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"

9. "I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today!"

5. "Got milk?"

4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."

3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

... and...

1. "You don't have the guts to pull the trigger..........."

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2006-12-04 12:02:30 · 14 answers · asked by al p 3

we plan on painting this girl's car bright yellow/green.... or green and red for Xmas as a prank... can that get us in trouble with the school? its temra-paint and it'll come out easy... i hope.... also... what kind of paint do you think would come out eaisiest?

2006-12-04 12:00:09 · 19 answers · asked by Hugh G. Rection 1