Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

2006-12-04 16:35:01 · 1 answers · asked by Pamela M 1

To hold the sheeps backlegs in place...

haw-haw-haw

yep I am a Texan!

2006-12-04 16:34:56 · 2 answers · asked by Evel Man 3

Replace question mark at the end with a word:

10, 20, 30, 4
50, 60, 70, ?

The puzzle is based on a famous rhyme. Which one? Guess!

2006-12-04 16:34:02 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Approximate age: 5,000 years. That’s right, the oldest known joke in the world. Originating in China during the Bling-Bling Dynasty, which was marked by having enormously idiotic jokes written in gold inlay on elaborate ceramic urns, this joke is sometimes thought to be the very first joke ever written that included a question mark:
Two silk worms were in an obstacle-course race. What was the result?

... A tie.

(so when you think about posting this joke think again!)

2006-12-04 16:31:44 · 2 answers · asked by 【ツ】ρεαcε! 5

Tell.

2006-12-04 16:17:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

an inhabitant of earth has 6, what am i?

(the answer is not vowels)

2006-12-04 16:08:01 · 6 answers · asked by kim 2

Three sisters lived in a house together they were 92,94 & 96. the 96 year old was upstairs drawing a bath she put one foot in the tub and yelled to her sisters was I getting in or out? The 94 year old sister said, I will come up and help you and she got halfway up the stairs and yells, was I going up or down? The 92 year old sister was sitting at the kitchen table laughing at her two sisters and said, I hope I dont get like that "Knock on wood". I'll be up to help you both as soon as I see who's at the door!

2006-12-04 15:53:49 · 11 answers · asked by Kimberly 2

Trick, answer is in it...

2006-12-04 15:52:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.

Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.

"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"

2006-12-04 15:46:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I need to pick an EXOTIC animal and make a riddle for it.
Here's an example :
I love eating meat, I have three colors, I'm afraid of humans because they want my fur. I can run up to 60 miles per hour, i'm the largest cat in the world.
Answer : Tiger
Can anyone help me do one for a Koala?

2006-12-04 15:43:38 · 10 answers · asked by lindaalicious 3

1.Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, ''May I borrow a highlighter?''
2. ''Uh-oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that.''
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. ''Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.''
5. ''Damn, this water is cold.''
6. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.
7. ''Now how did that get there?''
8. ''Hummus. Reminds me of hummus.''
9. Fill up a large flask with Mountian Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling,''Whoa! Easy boy!!''
10. '' Interesting....more sinkers than floaters''
11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peaunt butter on a wad of toliet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say,''Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
12. ''C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
13. ''Boy, t

2006-12-04 15:36:58 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two little old ladies were out for a drive, the lady in the passenger seat noticed that they went through a red light but she didn't say anything as she thought maybe she was just losing her mind. So when they went through the next red light she thought to herself I really am losing it. And by the time they went through the 3rd red light she turned to her friend and said Mildred do you realize we just ran 3 red lights, you could have killed us! And Mildred said, Oh am I driving.

2006-12-04 15:35:40 · 7 answers · asked by Kimberly 2

Osama Bin Laden

2006-12-04 15:34:35 · 5 answers · asked by Javy 7

It rises high in the air,pops, and falls back dowm. Why did this happen ?

2006-12-04 15:22:06 · 9 answers · asked by freemanjr2 1

what is the funniest word you have ever made up or said by combining 2 words?

2006-12-04 15:21:48 · 16 answers · asked by erica thomas 1

1) What loses its head in the morning, but gets it back at night.

2) What gets dirty when white, but clean when black.


First, person to get both answers right get the best answer.

Get ready, set, GO !!!!!!!!!

2006-12-04 15:16:40 · 8 answers · asked by Ethan M 2

C'mon, I'm sure you have one and really enjoy telling it.

2006-12-04 15:16:29 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

If a man and woman from Tennessee go to Alabama to get married, and then later they get a divorce in Mississippi, are they still brother and sister?

2006-12-04 15:14:11 · 3 answers · asked by wild_turkey_willie 5

street sign you have ever seen....Mine is on a corner outside a pub in Surrey, England which reads...Please don't throw stones at this sign.

2006-12-04 15:12:02 · 15 answers · asked by Loo 4

What thing with awesome strength is blessed?
Yet quakes before the smallest pest?
Stands so tall, yet sniffs the ground, without so much as stooping down?
Has no home, no room or bunk, yet holds it's bath inside a trunk?
What am I?

2006-12-04 15:06:05 · 11 answers · asked by sweetness 2

i need a great joke to play on on a girl for revenge. i need a great joke that is big and that will BE VERY HARD to find out who did it.this prank will need to be able to played on a girl at our after school program please i need some thing good to scare the heck out of her or that can really mess her up but with no pain

2006-12-04 15:05:13 · 4 answers · asked by brandi 1

This riddle has me stumped and the answer isnt Glasses. Help!!!

2006-12-04 14:53:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

X35 P33N I hUJOH 05 W,I 35V37d 3W d73H

2006-12-04 14:46:53 · 18 answers · asked by Kimberly 2

Well.......to figure it out you have to take the "S" out of Safe and the "f" out of way......

2006-12-04 14:41:27 · 14 answers · asked by Momma21981 2

Its a riddle...

2006-12-04 14:31:58 · 40 answers · asked by RanJAH 3

One day, a man walks into a second story bar. He sits down at the bar and orders a drink. As he is sitting there he notices another guy at the end of the bar slam down a shot of tequila then run and jump out the window. He freaks out and tells the bartender to call the paramedics. A few seconds later the guy comes walking back through the door. He sits down at the other end of the bar and orders another shot of tequila. He slams it down and runs and jumps out the window again. The man is really confused at this point in time. Well, the guy walk back into the bar and the man asks" Hey, how did you do that?" The guy replies "Well, there is a giant fan outside the window...Everytime I jump out it gently lowers me to the ground. You should try it, it is so fun!!!" Well, the guy says"Hell, why not, bartender give me shot of tequila!!!" The man, downs the shot, runs and jumps out the window, and splatters on the ground. The bartender looks over at the man at the end of the bar and says...

2006-12-04 14:30:19 · 7 answers · asked by frkonalsh2006 2

2006-12-04 14:25:15 · 7 answers · asked by CHRISTOPHER J L 2

You take the outside off and throw it away.Then you cook it.Then you eat the outside and then throw the inside away. What is it?

2006-12-04 14:22:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

if the red house is on the left and the blue house is on the right where is the white house?






its a stormy night and the power is out. Your friends dare youto go into a haunted house. you decide you will you eneter the front door and it locks behind you. there are three doors in front of you , a purple door, a Green door, and a red door. you go through the red door. you find yourself facing 3 more doors. a door that says cow, one that says sheep, and one that says lama. you go throught the sheep door. three more doors, one yellow, one brown , and one blue. you choose brown . yes you guessed it three more doors, one that says pig, onewith fish, and one with chicken. you go through the pig door. yess 3 more doors. black, white, and pink. you choose black. finally you come to 3 doors above them it reads how do you want to die, because you will die here tonight. one says get shot, one says suffocate, and one says electric chair. which do you choose?

2006-12-04 14:22:11 · 14 answers · asked by angel27 2

Somebody has stolen a precious diamond. Under suspicion are Susan, Angel, Norah, Smith and Tonya. One of them is definitely guilty. Look carefully. Eventually you can find the answer. It is very easy. Too easy for some people as always.

????? STOLE IT.

the thief will get the capital punishment as the diamond is very expensive and rare.

2006-12-04 14:15:23 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous