Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

2006-11-21 14:31:48 · 7 answers · asked by Steven A 1

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, ''He just didn't belong.''

9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.

8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, ''The hair, it's growing. Growing!''

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, ''Soon, soon....''

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, ''I've got an important message for you.'' Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, ''Oh, yeah, I remember!'' Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, ''Hooray! You're back!'' as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, ''Shouldn't you be going somewhere?''

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, ''No, I want to watch them suffer.'''

2006-11-21 14:26:14 · 10 answers · asked by Orion M 3

A skunk,a toad,and a duck want to see a movie.Each ticket costs 1dollor.Witch animal can't get in to see the movie?(answer the question and why it's that answer).(The movie theater does allow animals)

2006-11-21 14:22:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

2006-11-21 14:20:48 · 5 answers · asked by Orion M 3

then it would cut itself

2006-11-21 14:05:23 · 4 answers · asked by Erikawithasmile 4

3 men went to the hotel. It costed 30 dollar to rent a room. SO each man payed 10 dollar. The manager that day felt good so he gave 5 dollar back to the customer. The cashier was supposed to give back the money. He needed money that day so he took 2 dollars and gave back only 3 dollars. But when the three men got their money back the men thought they were given a three dollar discount meaning they only got back 2 dollars. That means each man payed 9 dollars each. 27 dollars in all. What happened to that one dollar? 5 dollar was given back. Cashier took 2 dollar from the 5. When the customer recieved thier dicount they only got 2 dollar back. Where did the missing dollar go?

2006-11-21 13:57:35 · 9 answers · asked by nut714rule 2

theres been big foot sightings

2006-11-21 13:53:53 · 14 answers · asked by Blue 1

ok pretend i have a chair right in front of me, i want you to convince me it dose not exist! it can be as long or as short as you want it, and it can be as non-practical, or as scientific as you want!

ok the first person to make me believe this chair dose not exist, wins 10 points!

2006-11-21 13:45:44 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

CRACK THE CODE

Each of the words below have been changed using a sercert code. for example , A might be represented by the letter Z or F. the code is the same for every wordcrack the code for each word.(hint: all theses words have to do with thanksgiving.)HAVE FUN!!!

1. NSCL 13. IULBIY
2. GIRU 14.FULBIN
3.NBUVLGI 15.QUBHKCBG
4.TSUHWTSMRB 16.CSTTBGRHG
5.MPBIILU 17.MBUBKL
6.SVLH 18.PRHTSPH
7.AULBK 19.KULGGRHQ
8.TBUVL 20. INWUGKBY
9.LBI 21.INBHJXWP
10. IBAPLTPSIN 22.GHSF
11. XLBGI 23. HBM
12.TUBHLUURLG 24.CBYXPSFLU

ONCE U FIGURED IT OUT EMIAL IT TO ME......

PETLOVER13_2006@YAHOO.COM

2006-11-21 13:39:54 · 5 answers · asked by P.R.Princess 1

On me children can practice counting,
while learning about life's ways.
Goodness will take you up,
but be naughty and you're going down, down, down

2006-11-21 13:35:22 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-21 13:34:07 · 6 answers · asked by ? 6

3 men went to the hotel. It costed 30 dollar to rent a room. SO each man payed 10 dollar. The manager that day felt good so he gave 5 dollar back to the customer. The cashier was supposed to give back the money. He needed money that day so he took 2 dollars and gave back only 3 dollars. But when the three men got their money back the men thought they were given a three dollar discount meaning they only got back 2 dollars. That means each man payed 9 dollars each. 27 dollars in all. What happened to that one dollar?

2006-11-21 13:33:59 · 20 answers · asked by nut714rule 2

when they eat they have to share six sandwhiches evenly, how many do each get

2006-11-21 13:30:10 · 8 answers · asked by Luis 3

I am looking for a joke, its a thanksgiving day drinking poem with tequila,it's a recipe for making a turkey dinner? Anyone know this joke?

2006-11-21 13:22:26 · 6 answers · asked by audrey_harstad 2

sisters and brothers i have none, but that mans father is my fathers son. what relationship is that man in the riddle

2006-11-21 13:21:27 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

have mett the muffin the muffin man who lives on________lane?????lol

2006-11-21 13:05:49 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was a NYC gag number (212)479-7990 that someone gave me. It's a number that you give to people that keep asking for your number. It leads to you the Reject Line. Does anyone know of any other gag numbers like this, prefereably with these area codes: 718, 347, 646, 917, 800, or 877? Thanks

2006-11-21 13:05:37 · 8 answers · asked by Luna 1

2006-11-21 13:05:34 · 11 answers · asked by Wikidkid 2

An italian man buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because, he
announces, his wife has just produced "a typical Italian" baby boy
weighing 25 pounds. Congratulations showered him from all around,
and many exclamations of "WOW!" was heard. A woman faints due to
sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender
says, "Say, you're the father of the typical Italian baby that weighed
25 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father
answers, "Seventeenpounds," The bartender is puzzled, concerned, "Why?
What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds at birth." The Italian
father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star beer, wipes his
lips on his shirt sleeve, leans in to the bartender and proudly says,
"Had him circumcised."

2006-11-21 12:58:43 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Whats the anwser to this

2006-11-21 12:57:12 · 22 answers · asked by toneuk 2

2006-11-21 12:54:47 · 11 answers · asked by harrypotterschick07 2

2006-11-21 12:50:49 · 22 answers · asked by harrypotterschick07 2

your age lol.

2006-11-21 12:48:34 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Just a little question to keep you busy for a short while.

2006-11-21 12:48:06 · 13 answers · asked by metall.pingwin 3

3 women - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar. the bartender asks the brunette "what can i get u?" the brunette replies "a r & c." the bartender, looking puzzled, asks "what is that?" to which the brunette answers "a rum & coke." the bartender asks the redhead "what would u like?" the redhead replies "a v & c." the bartender asks the redhead "what is that?" to which she is told "a vodka & cranberry." finally, the bartender asks the blonde "what would u like to drink?" the blonde answers "a 17."
the bartender again asks "what is that?" to which the blonde replies "a 7 & 7."

2006-11-21 12:47:45 · 17 answers · asked by momatendofrope 5

and says..OUCH!!


Dont worry folks! Im sticking around, there will be more! :)

2006-11-21 12:44:43 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why did Arkansas have peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving during the 1990's?
Becuase their turkey was in the White House!!!!!!

2006-11-21 12:43:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Because its mother was a waifer so long!!

Hohoho,
Thank you thank you, plenty more where that came from.

2006-11-21 12:25:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Did you hear about the Mexican who threw his wife over a cliff?
When the police officer asked him why he'd done it he said, "Tequila! Tequila!"

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were standing looking at a prize cow in a field.
The Englishman says "Look at that fine English cow."
The Irishman disagreed, saying "No, it's an Irish cow."
The Scotsman thought for a moment and then clinched the argument. "No, it's a Scottish cow - it's got bagpipes underneath!"


An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.

"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."

He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."

2006-11-21 12:23:23 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-21 12:18:47 · 3 answers · asked by hot_dude_tj07 1