Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

say silk 5 times
spell silk 2 times.
say silk 10 times
spell silk 3 times.
what do cows drink?
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.most people said milk,do cows actualy drink milk?

2006-11-16 09:24:54 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-16 09:23:59 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

A female and male egg were boiling in the pan.
"Oh I have a crack'' said the female. Wait there says the male I'm not hard yet.

2006-11-16 09:22:39 · 16 answers · asked by travelgirl 2

2006-11-16 09:21:47 · 18 answers · asked by philly 2

There are 3 brothers on a trip together. They go into a hotel and the guy at the desk says the room will be 30 dollars. They each pay 10 and then go up to their room.

A few minutes later the guy at the front desk realizes he charged the guys too much money and he gives the bell hop 5 dollars and tells him to give it back to the 3 brothers.

On the way up to the room, the bell hop can't figure out how he will divide the 5 dollars between 3 brothers, so he pockets 2 dollars and gives them each back 1.

So they each paid 9 dollars, then, right? That's 27 dollars (9x3=27). And the bell hop kept 2...that's 29 dollars (27+2=29), but oringinally they paid 30....what happened to the extra dollar?

2006-11-16 09:20:14 · 16 answers · asked by Coco 1

moishe winning the lottery , so he went to the synague and the rabbi said , moishe , it's so wonderful to hear you won all the money , do you think you could help out with the roof repairs , we need £15 ,000 , moishe says , rabbi , you know my mother , she needs £25,000 for her special wheelchair , rabbi says , moishe you'r so wonderful , moishe says , and you know my wife , she needs £30,000 to make her eyes better so she can see , and my son he needs £25,000 for a hip operation so he can walk again , rabbi says , moishe , you'r so wonderful , what about the roof , moishe says , rabbi if i can say no to these people , you'v got no chance !!

2006-11-16 09:19:25 · 4 answers · asked by nicemanvery 7

What did the ant say to the bob cat?


I'll post it in 5 days!

2006-11-16 09:18:31 · 8 answers · asked by ♥loveisforever♥ 2

There are 4 womans having tea together."hey girl what would you want to be if you could be anything"girl 1 said.
"i want to be a cell phone"girl 1 said.
"why"they replied.
"because the boys would touch my buttons"girl 1 said.
"well i would want to be a fridge"girl 2 said.
"why"replied them.
"because the boys will put sausage in me"
"well i would like to be a ambulance"girl 3 said.
"why"they replied.
"because if a boy gets hurt they would shove him in my bunk and i would scream all over town ooooooooooooooooo"she said.
"and what would you want to be"they said to girl 4/
"nothing you girls are sick"she said.

2006-11-16 09:16:12 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. "So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying "Ehhhh .. 22!".

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?".

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces "Five foot two!".

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. "And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying "Mandy!".

2006-11-16 09:13:25 · 14 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

the jokes can be dirty, mean or just anything to use as a come back. thanx

2006-11-16 09:12:46 · 10 answers · asked by Poser, Scene, Emo Kid 2

There are 3 boys standing in a line with 7 girls. The boys names are john, mark, and george. George is ahead of mark, and mark is ahead of john. However, it can also be said that john is second in line.

How is this possible?<

2006-11-16 09:10:47 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Smackheads in Yorkshire are crushing ecstacy tablets & rubbing it on their teeth. It's called............E by gum!!

2006-11-16 09:05:28 · 9 answers · asked by kev3753 1

While tending to her housework, a woman asks her husband

"Will you please fix the cabinet in the kitchen? It's been barely holding on to it's hinges for weeks now."

He replies "Does it say 'carpenter' on my forehead?"

Surprised, she lets it go and returns to her housework. As she begins to clean the bathroom, she notices that the lever is getting stuck. She yells from the bathroom,

"Honey, the toilet's lever is stuck again! Can you fix it?"

She comes into the living room to find him reading the paper. He responds to the puzzled look on her face with...

"Do I have "plumber" written on my forehead?"

The next day, her husband comes home from work to find the Cabinet fixed, the toilet fixed, and a chipper spouse making the bed in the master bedroom.

"Who fixed everything?"

2006-11-16 09:04:53 · 17 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

A boy decided to have a dinner with his girlfriend parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

2006-11-16 08:56:06 · 25 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

One night a blonde and her husband were talking about things. and their conversation ended up being jokes about blondes. Afterwards the blonde was so tired of blonde jokes and how stupid blondes were. she decides that she will do something to impress her husband and make her look not-so-dumb. So she decides that she will paint the house. So the next morning right after her husband left she got right to work!! she painted for hours and hours. When her husband go home he found his wife in a big puddle o laying on the floor. He asked what was going on and what happened. She said that she was trying to impress him and then fainted after a while. e said honey why do u have winter jackets on you are sweating o death!! she said she was reading the directions and it said.... For best results apply to coats!!!

2006-11-16 08:34:16 · 12 answers · asked by Ginger 2

He/she would mak an idiot of himself.

2006-11-16 08:30:43 · 7 answers · asked by monpuchi k 2

2006-11-16 08:30:20 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

WHEN THEY COME THEY'RE WILD AND WET, BUT WHEN THEY GO,
THEY TAKE YOUR HOUSE AND CAR WITH THEM.

2006-11-16 08:27:39 · 19 answers · asked by Joe Somebody 6

Let's just say you had an uncle and his name was jack. One day your walking along and you get a phone call from your uncle jack,"Can you help me, I'm stuck on my roof." Would you help your unlce jack off!!!

Hahahah...this was hilarious, I just heard it today!!

2006-11-16 08:22:54 · 9 answers · asked by Amber R 4

when they have their hats on backwards, it is always covering one ear.

2006-11-16 08:18:35 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

tell me.any kind of story,no matter how long or short.your most embarassing moment,and the less embarassing ones.

2006-11-16 08:16:41 · 7 answers · asked by nobody 3

There are three men on a boat with 4 ciggarettes between them.
They have nothing to light the ciggarettes with (no matches, lighters, or any other thing you can make sufficiant heat with to light a ciggarette with) so how do they smoke?

2006-11-16 08:16:39 · 18 answers · asked by mr yass 2

2006-11-16 08:13:06 · 9 answers · asked by iluvhandsom. 1

The teacher asked little Johnny to use the word " definitely " in a sentence.

Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny,"

To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely s**t my pants".

2006-11-16 08:13:05 · 34 answers · asked by ploppy pants 3

if you had a uncle named jack and he was stuck on the roof..... would you help your uncle jack off????????

2006-11-16 08:13:00 · 7 answers · asked by sam 2

What's that up my a*se, Batman?

2006-11-16 08:05:57 · 10 answers · asked by Roy S 3

2006-11-16 08:05:22 · 19 answers · asked by mr yass 2

Has anyone come up with a good answer to the riddle "Why is a raven like a writing desk" As asked in Alice in Wonderland.

2006-11-16 08:03:18 · 6 answers · asked by bo nidle 4

what is heavy forward backwards not?

2006-11-16 07:53:49 · 12 answers · asked by rixie987 2

I am a 7 letter word. My 1st 2st ,3st letters combined = a body part

My 2,3,4,5 is a kind of fruit

My 4,5,6 is what you would need every day

My 5,6,7 is an animal

WHAT IS THIS WORD?

here is another one

i live in total darkness, yet i have 1000 eyes

i live in a world with no sound, but i have 1000 ears

i have four dimensions yet only one

i have two sides yet i have none

what am I

2006-11-16 07:45:25 · 4 answers · asked by ertw t 2