2006-11-16 08:30:20 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
How does a blonde kill a fish?
She drowns it ...
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work for a construction crew. One day, they were on their lunch break, sitting on a beam thirty stories high. They all note that they've had the same lunch for as long as they were on the job. They agreed if they opened their lunchboxes and found the same lunch, they would all hurl themselves off the beam.
The next day, the police are investigating the scene where the three women fell. When the police asked the husbands of the women, the brunette and the redhead's husbands both said, "If I had known, I would have given her something different." However, the blonde's husband said, "Don't look at me, she packs her own lunch."
2006-11-16 14:00:18 · answer #1 · answered by msdrosi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I LOVE THIS JOKE IT IS ONE OF THE BEST JOKES I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!!!!!!
Tickle These, Elmo
A blonde desperately looking for work goes into a toy factory.
The Personnel Manager goes over her resume and explains to her that he regrets he has nothing worthy of her. The blonde answers that she really needs work and will take almost anything. The Personnel Manager hems and haws and finally says he does have a low skill job on the Tickle-Me-Elmo line and nothing else. The blonde happily accepts.. He takes her down to the line and explains her duties and that she should come in at 8am the next day.
The next day at 8:45 there's a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Tickle-Me-Elmo line manager comes in and starts ranting about the blonde just hired. After screaming for 15 minutes about how badly backed up the assembly line is, the Personnel Manager suggested he be shown the problem.
Together they head down to the line and sure enough Elmos are backed up from here to kingdom come. Right at the end of the line is the blonde just hired. She has pulled over a roll of the material used for the Elmos and has a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric and takes 2 marbles and starts sewing them between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager starts to kill himself laughing and finally after 20 minutes of rolling around, he pulls himself together and walks over to the new employee and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. What I wanted you to do was give Elmo two test tickles."
2006-11-16 16:45:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good gawd, where do I start?!! (:
- Why do blondes have bruises around their belly buttons?
Becasue blonde guys are stupid too!
- Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
- Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Gosh. I could go on & on, but I'm blonde and I've lost track of what I was doing here... (:
2006-11-16 16:41:17 · answer #3 · answered by Grá 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Reverse Blond Joke
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
2006-11-16 16:33:41 · answer #4 · answered by Hi y´all ! 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. "So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?"
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying "Ehhhh .. 22!".
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?".
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces "Five foot two!".
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. "And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?"
The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying "Mandy!".
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks "Just out of curiosity, miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?"
"Ohh that!", replies the blonde, "That's just me running through 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....' ".
2006-11-16 17:20:35 · answer #5 · answered by michelleee♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer, The white-out on the screen.
2006-11-16 16:32:41 · answer #6 · answered by baronmech@prodigy.net 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i hope this tells you everything about blonds.
PS: watch OUT !! stay away from your blond girlfriends.
http://www.omfg.ro/blonda-ca-blonda-da-bruneta.html
--- hit the PLAY button --
2006-11-16 16:42:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The blonde comes to a flashing red light .brum , erk. brum erk .brum erk .
2006-11-16 16:35:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I have one that is my all time fav....
2006-11-16 16:32:13 · answer #9 · answered by a1tommyL 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋