Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

what is the difference between Micheal Jackson and a carrier bag??

2006-10-21 09:03:48 · 16 answers · asked by gonepostalinmo 4

I'm round but always around, i'm light sometimes and dark sometimes and both sometimes. Everyone wants to walk on me but only half of me you'll ever have.

2006-10-21 09:03:36 · 18 answers · asked by SASHANYA W 1

dose anybody have any good jokes tell me them please were having a joke of in school its lame we have to do it

2006-10-21 08:50:25 · 13 answers · asked by kryrcks444 2

We all know that Hooters is the place for women with large breasts... what is the place for 1 legged women??

2006-10-21 08:37:44 · 11 answers · asked by doddtwiner 3

2006-10-21 08:28:26 · 25 answers · asked by doddtwiner 3

On collecting some ancient work-wear from the colour-fasters, Sister Mary realises they are now stiff.

What well know phrase can be "tweaked" to summarise the above?
Will post solution in about an hour unless solved first.

2006-10-21 08:12:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Set on strictest settings possible.

2006-10-21 08:11:55 · 16 answers · asked by Unknown 3

2006-10-21 08:05:46 · 27 answers · asked by Wolfie 7

Tyrone: Why you white guys always so happy?
Robert: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work.
Tyrone: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that?
Robert: It’s easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time.
Tyrone: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning?
Robert: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you.
Tyrone: HAHAAA she falls for that?
Robert: yes you should try it.
NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FAT LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING.
Robert: What happened to you?
Tyrone: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn’t like it.
Robert: She didn’t like it??? What did you say?
Tyrone: Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fat a$s over I would do you like a dog.

2006-10-21 08:04:45 · 8 answers · asked by Pd 6

(answer honestly)This works best with people in the UK but anyways:

1. Is your favourite colour blue?
2. Do you support Manchester united?
3. Is the games console you own a sony playstation 2?
4. Is the game(s) on your playstation pro evolution soccer?
5. Is the game(s) on your playstation gta?
6.(adults) are you divorced?
6. (Teenagers) Are you fat?
7. Have you ever owned a t610, 7210, or that new sony ericsson mp3 mobile?
8. Being gay is da bomb init? are you gay?
9. Do you hate/are you crap at maths?
10. If only a few people had bought ipods would you have bought one?/ do you have an ipod?

On a scale of 0-10 where 0 is answering 'yes' to no question and 10 to all. 0 is 'NOT such a lameo casual/pop culture Jo' and 10 is 'Pure unoriginal b astard.

2006-10-21 07:42:51 · 45 answers · asked by jewl 32 2

john and his father dr. champion was in a car accident dr. champion died instantly, john was rushed to the hospital for surgery and the old surgen said i cannot operate on him, he's my son. why is that?

2006-10-21 07:25:45 · 23 answers · asked by smooth sailing34 2

Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

2006-10-21 07:18:28 · 20 answers · asked by Confused?! 4

The idea is I ask the question ,you give me a funny answer then I pick the best one then you are awarded 10 points ....see! easy. I have no strange light bulb feshises just like funny riddles ,

2006-10-21 06:59:21 · 21 answers · asked by CHOOSE LIFE NOT RIVERCITY 1

Tony Blair was visiting a primary school and was taken to one of the classrooms where they were in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings. The teacher asked the PM if he would like to lead the discussion so Tony asked the class for an example of the word “tragedy”.
A little boy stood up and offered “If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in a field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be tragedy.”
“No”, said Blair, “that would be an accident”.
A little girl raised her hand: “If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” said the PM. “That what we would call a great loss.”
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Tony searched the room. “Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?”
Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand. “If the aeroplane carrying you and Mrs Blair was struck by a friendly fire missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic”, exclaimed Tony Blair. “That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well”, says the boy, “It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either

2006-10-21 06:55:00 · 12 answers · asked by untanuta 5

First to get it right gets the points.

2006-10-21 06:55:00 · 17 answers · asked by Confused?! 4

How to hire the right people

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.


If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.


If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.


If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.


If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.


If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.


If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.


If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
Put them in information technology.


If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.


If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved.
Put them in sales.


If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.


If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning.


And then last but not least.


If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.


Congratulate them and put them in top management

2006-10-21 06:48:28 · 12 answers · asked by untanuta 5

Let's see how many answers we can get........

Here is one: Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the armadillo that it could indeed be done!

2006-10-21 06:46:01 · 26 answers · asked by snowdrop 4

2006-10-21 06:42:48 · 16 answers · asked by CHOOSE LIFE NOT RIVERCITY 1

2006-10-21 06:41:35 · 18 answers · asked by CHOOSE LIFE NOT RIVERCITY 1

2006-10-21 06:39:59 · 8 answers · asked by CHOOSE LIFE NOT RIVERCITY 1

All jokes that i hear now adays are just not funny. Someone out there must have some good jokes, so why not post them here!

2006-10-21 06:38:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

A mouse pad, is where Mickey and Minnie Lived, Internet,is where food workers put there hair, Modem, What i do when the grass grts to tall,etc.etc.

2006-10-21 06:32:04 · 8 answers · asked by kman1830 5

SEE.....when i'am at home i see the mcdonalds comercial or the BK COmercial the hamburgers look all good neat and welldone....but when i get them i open the wrapper its all smashed ugly and the chesse gets in my hands why can't i get the beautyful one or is it the cookers are just lazy...........

2006-10-21 06:26:28 · 20 answers · asked by the great one 4

A newly-married couple show up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. "Do you have reservations?" inquires the receptionist. "Only one," replies the groom. "She won't take it up the ar se."

2006-10-21 06:23:50 · 10 answers · asked by ? 2

A nun was laying in the bath when she heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" she asked. "I'm the blind man," was the reply. "Come in" she said, having no shame as the man was blind. The man then entered, "Nice ti ts love, where do you want me to hang the blind."

2006-10-21 06:19:50 · 26 answers · asked by ? 2

2006-10-21 06:10:55 · 9 answers · asked by filotofo 1

Anyone know some good jokes here? My husband's away I'm feeling depressed and under the weather...

2006-10-21 05:59:42 · 12 answers · asked by Mom_of_two 5

Ethel and Enid are shopping at their local market. Passing one stall Ethels remembers that she needs a new toilet brush. Enid says no need to buy one. You can have the one that I have in the cupboard. It's quite new - I tried it twice than decided to go back to using toilet paper!

2006-10-21 05:45:40 · 16 answers · asked by Jim S 1

Then hold their cheeks and pull!!

2006-10-21 05:38:55 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

there was a little red man in a little red house, he woke up in his little red bed, went into his little red bathroom, and jumped into his little red shower.he had to cut his shower short when there was knock at his little red door.he wrapped a little red towel around his little red body and opened the little red door. standing at the little red door was a little blue lady. all of a sudden the little red mans towel dropped, the little blue woman shrieked and ran across the road where she was hit by a little red car.
whats the moral of this story?

2006-10-21 05:29:57 · 14 answers · asked by Psychodelic Chicken 5