Jokes & Riddles - October 2006

2006-10-24 17:00:10 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Has to do with the materials given.

2006-10-24 16:58:51 · 15 answers · asked by anthony a 1

2006-10-24 16:55:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Spell .. mousetrap.. with 3 letters...

2006-10-24 16:53:08 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

(Silly answers encouraged)

2006-10-24 16:35:49 · 9 answers · asked by joshooog 2

You have a three ounce can and a five ounce can. The cans have no markers on them. You have all the water you need in a well outside. How can you get four ounces using the two cans?

first person to guess right wins the 10 point prize!

2006-10-24 16:29:48 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Q: What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam roller?
A: Flatman and ribbon.

Q: When is a car not a car?
A: When it turns into a garage.

Q: How much do pirates pay for their earrings?
A: a Buccaneer!

Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
A: He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

Q: Why did the atoms cross the road?
A: It was time to split!

Q: What do you do when your chair breaks?
A: Call a Chairman.

Q: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide?
A: Because it's too cold out tide!

Q: What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A: a Toy-yoda.

Q: What is the biggest pencil in the world?
A: Pennsylvania.

Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?
A: He saw the salad dressing!

^_^ enjoy

2006-10-24 16:19:15 · 11 answers · asked by ettezzil 5

Q: What do monsters make with cars?
A: Traffic Jam

Q: What do you call the elephant witch doctor?
A: Mumbo Jumbo

Q: Why did the pony cough?
A: He was a little hoarse!

Q: What do sheep do on sunny days?
A: Have a baa - baa - cue!

Q: How do you know when a dog has been naughty?
A: It leaves a little poodle on the carpet!

Q: Where do Aliens keep their sandwiches?
A: In a Launch box

Q: What do you call the pub on Mars?
A: A Mars Bar!

Q: Why did the spaceship land outside your bedroom?
A: I must have left the landing light on

Q: What do you call a vampire that lives in the kitchen?
A: Spatula!

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: He had no body to go with!

Have a Nice Day to everyone ^_^

2006-10-24 16:14:53 · 13 answers · asked by ettezzil 5

it's a joke where it asks you a question and it ask u the same question over and over again.. or where u can press ok and all the ok blocks come on your screen where it gets outta control.

2006-10-24 16:04:00 · 1 answers · asked by snaketxruler 1

2006-10-24 15:56:58 · 13 answers · asked by iFFy 1

A knight on a horse rides to the castle on Friday. Three days later he gose back to war on Friday. How can this be possible? I'll give you the answer went 10+ people try to answer it.

2006-10-24 15:51:08 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

this is hard.. HELP!

2006-10-24 15:43:50 · 10 answers · asked by aya 2

a guy with no arms or legs in your swimming pool? BOB
a guy with no arms or legs on your porch? MATT
a guy with no arms or legs on the wall? ART
a guy with no arms or legs in your sink? DWAYNE
a guy with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves? RUSSELL
a girl with no arms or legs at the beach? SANDY
a girl with one leg? EILEEN
asian girl with one leg? IRENE

2006-10-24 15:34:51 · 7 answers · asked by scooter 2

Who can give 2$ to every single person in the world and still be rich

2006-10-24 15:33:32 · 15 answers · asked by GodOfWar 1

2006-10-24 15:29:49 · 4 answers · asked by dk 2

answer rite and get 10 pnts

1.theres 3 aples you take away 2 how many do you have.

2.how many pairs of each animals did moses put in the ark.

3.if a rooster lays an egg in a roof where does it roll left or rite.

4.two men play 5 games each winning and losing the same games how is this possible.

5.an orphan is in one side of the river and his mother on the other how will he get there through the bridge swim through or wait for his mother.

6.a lady gives money to a beggar she is the beggars sister but the beggar is not her brother why.

7.two americans go to england the man is the others sons father how can this be.

8.a widow has two sons the sons talk to the mother well but they dont talk to each other they arent mad at each other so y dont they talk to each other.

9.a mother has two children who were born on the same day but they are not twins. why.

2006-10-24 15:18:03 · 19 answers · asked by looneytoon783 1

A minister decided that a visual demonstration
would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.??????

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
??????????

The first worm was put
into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put
into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into
a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into
a container of good clean soil.


At the conclusion of the sermon,
the Minister reported the following results:?????


The first worm in alcohol -
Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke -?
Dead


?
Third worm in chocolate syrup -
Dead


?
Fourth worm in good clean soil -
Alive.


So the Minister asked the congregation -

What can you learn from this demonstration?


?

Maxine was setting in the back,
quickly raised her hand and said,


"As long as you drink,
smoke and eat chocolate,
you won't have worms!"

2006-10-24 15:08:06 · 5 answers · asked by chapped lips 5

>A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,
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>when behind him he hears:
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>BUMP...
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>BUMP...
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>BUMP...
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>Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the
>image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the
street
>toward him.
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>BUMP...
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>BUMP...
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>BUMP...
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>Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing
>quickly behind him
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>FASTER..
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>FASTER...
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>BUMP...
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>BUMP...
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>BUMP...
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>He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes
>in, slams and locks the door behind him.
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>However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the
casket
>clapping
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>clappity-BUMP...
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>clappity-BUMP...
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>clappity-BUMP...
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>on his heels, the terrified man runs.
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>Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart
is
>pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
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>With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
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>Bumping and clapping toward him.
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>The man screams and reaches for something, anything,
>but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
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>Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
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>and,
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>(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
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>The coffin stops

2006-10-24 15:05:51 · 15 answers · asked by chapped lips 5

Ten pears hanging high. Ten men walking by. Each grabbed one and left nine hanging there. How is that possible.
Good Luck!!!

2006-10-24 14:43:13 · 20 answers · asked by Marissa O 1

2006-10-24 14:42:48 · 11 answers · asked by jesse12508 1

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?


97f Harvard graduates can not figure this riddle out, but 84f kindergarten students were able to figure this out in 6 minutes or less. Can you guess the correct answer? Just repost this bulletin with the title

2006-10-24 14:35:31 · 15 answers · asked by goose 2

What happens if you put a worm in a glass of alcohol?
The worm dies, but it dies happy.

2006-10-24 14:33:09 · 8 answers · asked by dogpye5 3

A mild-mannered Englishman and his wife were walking down a busy London street, when all of the sudden a loud obnoxious man comes up to them, and says, "My name is Tony Goviano, I would like to ask you a few questions." The Englishman says, "You are incredibly loud and I wish to be left alone." The Italian then pinches the wife's behind, she then says, "How dare you." The Englishman says, "Sayold chap that was extremely unneceesary."
The Italian says in an extremely loud deafening volume, "That's exactly what the last 500 people said todaywho's wives I pinched!"

2006-10-24 14:24:47 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Infinite space between her ears.

Informationally deprived.

Inspired the slogan, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste."

Intellectually challenged.

IQ lower than a snake's belly in a wagon-rut.

Life by Norman Rockwell, screenplay by Stephen King.

Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral.

Music by Mozart, choreography by Beavis & Butthead.

Needs both hands to wipe his behind.

Not the brightest light on the Christmas tree.

Not the quickest bunny in the forest.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

Been short on oxygen one time too many.

Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel.

Born during low tide in the gene pool.

People around her are at risk of second hand idiocy.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.

If stupidity were beauty, her face could launch a million ships.

Hard to distinguish from the tail end of a horse.

Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

Stumped by anything childproof.

2006-10-24 14:12:52 · 9 answers · asked by Gemini23 4

The room was full of pregnant women, with their partners,and the class was in full swing.


"Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you." she said. "Walking is especially beneficial because it strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier."

Then she looked at the men in the room.

"Gentlemen, remember you're in this together, so it wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partners," she said.

The room went very quiet as the men slowly absorbed this information.

Thea man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

"Yes?' said the teacher.

" I was just wondering," the man said, "is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?'

2006-10-24 14:05:41 · 5 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

a man goes to the grand canyon to take pics for work after about 40 he goes home to show his boss to suck up to him.Just to find out he left the cap on the camera during filming and got firerd. the moral of the joke is that kiss ups suck and end up punished for it and no one likes them.

2006-10-24 13:47:43 · 9 answers · asked by Rhiannon. Stay[[+]] 4

2006-10-24 13:43:51 · 11 answers · asked by sugar_pop_01@yahoo.com 2

now double it then add 8 now half it then take away the first number you thought of,you now have a new number wih this new number if 1=a,2=b,3=c,4=d,5=e,etc think of a country begining with that letter now think of an animal begining with the 2nd letter of that country then think of the colour of this animal once you have done this type ok for your answer,then i will predict wot you thought when i have got 5 ok's in answers

2006-10-24 13:41:55 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-10-24 13:38:50 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I've got some EVIL neighbours. Report me to the authorities (Police, social services, RSPCA, council) for anything and everything and it is all lies.

I want some good ideas for revenge, Something a bit better than "brick their windows" or "torch their Range Rover".....

I might not go through with it but it'll be funny to see ideas

2006-10-24 13:37:27 · 23 answers · asked by puggtiracer 3