Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

2006-08-22 14:47:16 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

if that is how you look your are pretty

2006-08-22 14:36:03 · 18 answers · asked by thomascoal 1

2006-08-22 14:33:50 · 12 answers · asked by jsmne3 1

The wife runs into the house shouting "Pack up, pack up I won the lottery", the husband is all excited and says "What should I pack mountain gear or beach wear" and the wife says "it doesn't matter, just get the F**k out.

2006-08-22 14:29:41 · 26 answers · asked by lady love 2

plz

2006-08-22 14:24:54 · 7 answers · asked by lil94c 2

if quizes are quizical, than what are tests?

2006-08-22 14:24:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Willys cynical thought for the fugging day;

It takes many nails to make a crib, but only one freaking screw will fill it!

1) Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

2) Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

3) My Love for you is like diarrohea ... I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

6) If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

7) You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

8) Man - Fat Penguin!
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

9) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

and.... the best for last!

13) Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-08-22 14:24:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

what is the wildest animal at the zoo?

2006-08-22 14:23:06 · 15 answers · asked by lkwood39 2

If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, then where would a woman with one leg work?

2006-08-22 14:15:41 · 10 answers · asked by Chickie 1

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The Red sea in the Bible is a long-perpetuated mistranslation of the Reed sea.

Cleopatra's last name was Ptolemy, and she was Greek rather than Egyptian.

Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.

During WWII, Americans tried to train bats to drop bombs.

Both Hitler and Napoleon were missing one testicle.


Martha's Vineyard once had its own dialect of Sign Language. One deaf person arrived in 1692 and after that there was a relatively large genetically deaf population that had their own particular dialect of sign language

2006-08-22 14:14:10 · 22 answers · asked by Gemini23 4

like i said 10 point to the person who makes me laugh the most.

2006-08-22 14:03:22 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-22 13:49:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

how many of you are not girls and are reading this??
and say the truth

2006-08-22 13:34:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-22 13:24:13 · 14 answers · asked by Dr Know It All 5

"as i was walking to saint ives i met a man with seven wives each wife had 7 sacks and in each sack 7 cats. each cat had 7 kits(kittens) kits cats sacks and wives, how many were going to saint ives?"
first person with answer gets 7 points

2006-08-22 13:14:10 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

It was in the autumn of 1962 that a man went to town with £50 in his pocket, but he returned at night with £150. He bought a hat at a clothing store and some apples at the market. Then he had his eyes tested. He gets paid evey Thursday by cheque. The banks are only open on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. The eye doctor is closed on Saturday. The market stays closed on Thursday and Friday. On what day did the man go to town?

2006-08-22 13:12:54 · 20 answers · asked by sammy o 2

Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?
>
> Many years ago a man was traveling through the
> mountains of Switzerland.
>
>
> Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere
> to sleep. He went
> up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could
> spend the night. !
>
> The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.
>
> As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her
> father, "Who is that
> man going into the barn?"
>
> "That fellow traveling through," said the farmer.
> "needs a place to stay
> for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the
> barn."
>
> The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So she
> prepared him a plate
> of food for him and then took it out to the barn.
>
> About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her
> clothing disheveled and
> straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.
>
> The farmer's wife was very observant. She then
> suggested that perhaps
> the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of
> wine, took it out to the
> barn,! and she too did not return for an hour. Her
> clothing was askew,
> her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed
> straight to bed.
>
> The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got
> up and continued on
> his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.
>
> When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor
> was gone, she broke
> into tears. "How could he leave without even saying
> goodbye," she cried.
> "We made such passionate love last night!"
>
> "What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of
> the house looking
> for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.
>
> The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm going to get
> you! You had sex with
> my daughter!"
>
> The man looked back down from the mountainside,
> cupped his hand next to
> his mouth, and yelled out.....
>
> "LAIDTHEOLAIDEETOO"

2006-08-22 13:09:32 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-22 13:04:26 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-22 13:04:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-22 13:01:25 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I absolutly luv funny storys.
pleez dont put any discusting stuff.
and have fun!!!!!

2006-08-22 13:00:25 · 9 answers · asked by Moonlight Rose 3

2006-08-22 12:52:06 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Barney Smith left the 'Soul-Ace Hotel' and walked towards the car park. Without the benefit of moonlight or any artificial light, he was able to spot his black car 100 meters away. How was this possible?

2006-08-22 12:47:11 · 19 answers · asked by sammy o 2

.................................................................................................because thier too tired.(too tired)

2006-08-22 12:40:29 · 9 answers · asked by Nafertiti 2

2006-08-22 12:40:12 · 26 answers · asked by snowwhite 2

Enquiring minds want to know...

2006-08-22 12:36:06 · 7 answers · asked by Tesra 3

A person is lying dead in a field. Nobody has killed this person and he did not kill himself.

Barely 1 metre away from him is a bag. Soething in this bag could have saved his life.

What's in the bag? more riddles on the way..

2006-08-22 12:28:48 · 19 answers · asked by Mr T 4

This is a true story. A white horse jumped over a tower and landed on a priest, who immediately disappeared from the landscape. Where did this take place?

2006-08-22 12:26:33 · 11 answers · asked by Mr T 4

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bustrip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?

2006-08-22 12:25:04 · 13 answers · asked by Mr T 4

you shine a flashlight into her ear!

2006-08-22 12:19:36 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous