Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

What or who does this "word riddle" describe.

Alternatively: Four are hanging, four are walking, two point the way out, two ward the dogs off, one ever dirty dangles behind it.

Same old answer

2006-08-22 12:16:38 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

if the rubber brakes then your screwed

2006-08-22 12:15:45 · 15 answers · asked by Nafertiti 2

Sam Smith was standing in the post office looking at a 'wanted' poster. Someone asked him who the man in the poster was and Sam replied, " Brothers and sisters, I have none, but this man's father is my father's son." Whose picture was on the poster that Sam was looking at?

2006-08-22 12:12:20 · 18 answers · asked by sammy o 2

A modern-day cowboy has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden, he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an Internal Revenue Service ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

"Well, cowboy," says the genie. "You know how I work. You have three wishes."

"I'm not falling for this." Says the man. "I'm not going to trust an IRS lawyer genie!"

"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"

The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right. "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink."

POOF: The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

"OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish?"

"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."

POOF: The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"

After thinking for a few minutes, the man says, "I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."

POOF: He is turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.

2006-08-22 11:55:44 · 15 answers · asked by Dew Drop 3

Three men checked into a hotel room for which they paid £30. The next day, the manager glanced at the records and realised that the men had been overcharged. She gave the porter £5 to return to the three men. On the way to their room the porter decided to keep £2 fo himself, and give each of the three men one pound. The three men had now paid £9 each, or a total £27. This plus the £2 the bellhop kept makes a total of £29. What happened to the other pound?

2006-08-22 11:47:11 · 10 answers · asked by sammy o 2

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea.

When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.

"A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"

2006-08-22 11:45:29 · 10 answers · asked by Dew Drop 3

see if you can answer this Riddle



You are stuck in a room with no windows or doors. a solid room. Only things that are in this room are a mirror and a table. how do you escape?

2006-08-22 11:39:47 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

*riddle*

2006-08-22 11:16:54 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-22 11:10:12 · 12 answers · asked by bubblegum 1

*riddle*

2006-08-22 11:09:56 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

??????????????????????????????

2006-08-22 11:02:14 · 9 answers · asked by Captgoody 2

2006-08-22 10:59:40 · 9 answers · asked by sparky 2

even without trying! you put a question up thats just plain daft - just for a bit of fun, hoping to raise a smile, make people laugh. Even thinking you may get some witty answers to make us all laugh - and then you get hammered by people who miss the point so much they may as well be on another planet! Is it worth trying again?

2006-08-22 10:59:07 · 15 answers · asked by phil d 3

2006-08-22 10:54:42 · 8 answers · asked by madyx524 2

This is corny but I heard it from a 6 year old.

How do you get an Elephant onto a Subway?

You take the U out of sub, and the F out of way.

2006-08-22 10:52:21 · 6 answers · asked by teeniey37 4

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2006-08-22 10:28:21 · 25 answers · asked by Jakob 2

What's the difference between a train and a teacher?

2006-08-22 10:19:53 · 9 answers · asked by Jakob 2

School is terrible! The halls are always filled, so I'm getting pushed around, my fifth period teacher may be the Devil herself, and I have TWO classes with my bffs. Just two!

In Gym, I'm taking volleyball, and they worked us HARD. one fat girl couldnt take it and started crying. I think she quit. And I was in the lockerroom, and the day before I had slipped and fell, It still hurts on my leg, and my bag was right beside a puddle of water I didnt see, coming from the air conditioner above. So I ran to get my bag and I slipped and got my new jeans really wet. Also It hurt. The excersize sucked, too. I didn't get a chance to go to the bathroom and we were running the whole time. The schoolwork isnt bad, but its just the first day, so It'll probably get worse. Can you cheer me up? Tell me a joke? :)

2006-08-22 10:19:48 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

You get a "pot" belly.

2006-08-22 10:16:57 · 7 answers · asked by guvner_46 3

What do you call a short psychic who escaped from jail?

2006-08-22 10:12:36 · 11 answers · asked by Jakob 2

he has spent all his money. He calls his daddy. "Dad, you won't believe it, they actually have a program here that will teach our dog how to read and talk!" "WOW incredible" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?" Just send the dog and $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money. The guy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all excited. "Where's the dog? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, the dog was kicked back in the recliner, reading the paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messing' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?' The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a biitch before he talks to your Mother!" "I sure did!"
"Thats my boy"

2006-08-22 10:07:03 · 16 answers · asked by Filo 2

A cow is standing 5 feet from the middle of the bridge. A train is coming towards the cow at speed of 90 miles per hour from the near end and the train is twice as long as the bridge. If the cow had tried to move forward in the same direction as of the train then the cow would have got hit be three feet. But it moved in opposite direction to the train and saved by one feet. Then What is the length of the bridge

2006-08-22 09:55:46 · 13 answers · asked by Amit 3

earlier i lost my marbles, then i lost my mind and now this

2006-08-22 09:49:21 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-22 09:36:10 · 24 answers · asked by icemaiden 2

im bored....................^_^

2006-08-22 09:35:00 · 4 answers · asked by ajkash_desi 3

2006-08-22 09:34:48 · 9 answers · asked by animeguy84 1

This is a clean question.. just think "out of the box'!!

2006-08-22 09:32:34 · 22 answers · asked by icemaiden 2

make me laugh for 10 pts.

2006-08-22 09:31:57 · 32 answers · asked by hottscott22289 2

your driving along and need to stop.You have a big drop to the left of you.A fire engine going the same speed as you on your right.A helecopter behind you (right beind you like another car would be) going at the same speed.And a big pink elephant infront of you going again the same speed.

what do you do?!
10 points for the answer,if noone gets it when time is out ill give you the answer have fun -x-

2006-08-22 09:30:51 · 16 answers · asked by kez_124 4

SWITCH THE LETTERS AND ULL FIGURE IT OUT: " HATW SI UOYR IDDMLE MNEA INME SI NEERE"

2006-08-22 09:21:10 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous