Jokes & Riddles (Entertainment & Music) - August 2006

Britney, Shania Twain, and Usher just got back from concert. They stay at the same hotel. In the elevator, they have conversation. One of them fart, Usher says: "It wasn't me." Shania says: "That don't impress me much." and Britney says: "Oops,i did it again".
The next day, they have conversation again in the elevator. One of them fart again. Usher says: "It wasn't me." Shania says: "That don't impress me much." and Britney says: "Stronger than yesterday."

2006-08-05 07:27:38 · 13 answers · asked by jennifer 3

1 ⤊

what is very light but cannot be lifted?

2006-08-05 07:25:41 · 9 answers · asked by mdsubahi m 2

0 ⤊

How do u confuse a blonde?

Put her in a round room and tell her there's a candybar in the corner

2006-08-05 07:16:46 · 18 answers · asked by DEREK H 1

1 ⤊

What place?

If you were running in a race,and you passed the person in the 2nd place.What place would you be in now?

10 points

2006-08-05 07:15:59 · 6 answers · asked by Sonja B 2

0 ⤊

q- what do u call a blonde behind a steering wheel?

a- an air bag

2006-08-05 07:14:49 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

5 ⤊

Try to figure this out.......?

Darren Has a name
darren has a sister
darren has a sister whose mom is a aunt to an uncle of a girl
that girl is a aunt to a person who has a great grandmother who has a famous friend
that famous friend has a butler who is related to a hobo who has a friend who has a niece that is a cousin
that cousin's name is Alisha who has 3 kids and has a brother who has 8 kids and one of those kids has 15 kids and 5 of
those kids have 8 kids each all 8 of those kids have 3 friends who have 14 kids that have 12 kids each in there own home
and the owners of their homes each have 52 cousins who has 87 aunts and 62 uncles that each has a cousin named ricky who has
a grandmother named rose who has a neice named becca who is darren's sister.

how is becca related to alisha?

2006-08-05 07:00:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

0 ⤊

should u tell someone their zipper is open?

taking in some fresh air.

2006-08-05 06:53:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

0 ⤊

a joke..funny...:)?

The cavalry man was galloping down the road, rushing to catch up with the regiment. Suddenly his horse stumbled and pitched him to the ground. In the dirt with a broken leg, terrified of the approaching enemy, the soldier called out: "All you saints in heaven, help me get up on my horse!"
Then, with superhuman effort, he leaped onto the horse's back and fell off the other side. Once again on the ground, he called to the heavens: "All right , just half of you this time."

lol :)

2006-08-05 06:30:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

0 ⤊

Is this joke funny.....two fishermens?

A New South Wales fisherman lost his dentures over the side of the boat in rough weather, so his prankster friend removed his own false teeth, tied them on his line and pretended he had caught the missing gnashers.
Unhooking the teeth, his grateful mate tried to put them into his mouth, then hurled them into the sea with the disgusted remark,
"They're not mine,, they don't fit."

2006-08-05 06:12:00 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2 ⤊

how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, to country music?

2006-08-05 05:20:32 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

1 ⤊

y doez god exist?

i thnk 2 protect uz from devilz.

2006-08-05 05:17:24 · 16 answers · asked by srinu710 4

2 ⤊

Say underlay?

Fast, over and over.

Use an accent if you feel the need. Hehe. :)

2006-08-05 05:13:46 · 8 answers · asked by Purplgirl 5

6 ⤊

Which fat joke is the best?

1. Your so fat, your refrigerator is your lunch box

2. You are so fat, when you stood up you won a weight lifting competition!!!

3. Your so fat you have to iron your clothes in the driveway.

4. Your so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for your liposuction!

5. Your own...

2006-08-05 05:12:14 · 21 answers · asked by | 1

1 ⤊

Rejected hallmark cards... comments plz?

"Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder:...
-- What was I thinking?"

"Congratulations on your wedding day!...
-- Too bad no one likes your wife."

"How could two people as beautiful as you....
-- have such an ugly baby?"

"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love...
-- After having met you, I've changed my mind."

"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life...
-- I never believed in Hell until I met you."

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
-- that you're not here to ruin it for me."

"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me...
-- Like the need for therapy."

"Thanks for being a part of my life!!!...
-- I never knew what evil was before this!"

"Before you go,...
I would like you to take this knife out of my back.
-- You'll probably need it again."

"Someday I hope to get married...
-- but not to you."

2006-08-05 04:49:51 · 15 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

1 ⤊

Is this joke realy funny?

Please feel free to coment and let me know if this is a funny joke or not Ok .

Paddy & Mick worked together in St. John's, Newfoundland
and were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment Office.
When asked his occupation, Paddy answered,
"Panty stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies cotton
panties and tongs"
The clerk looked up panty stitcher on his computer and
finding it classified as unskilled labour, he gave him $80.00 a
week unemployment pay.
Mick was next in, and when asked his occupation,
replied," Diesel Fitter"
Since a diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave
Mick $160.00 a week.
When Paddy found out he was furious.
He stormed back into the office to find out why his
friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained "Panty Stitchers are unskilled and
Diesel Fitter's are skilled labour"

"What skill?" yelled Paddy."
"I sew da elastic on da Panties and tongs;
Mick puts 'em over his head and says: "Yep ,diesel fitter!"

2006-08-05 04:43:05 · 38 answers · asked by WILLIEGOGO 3

1 ⤊

hi...a joke ... comments plz?

Once George Bush Jr. visited an elementary school to talk to a group of 3rd graders. He said to them, "Today we are going to discuss the difference between a tragedy, a great loss and an accident".

Then he said, "Can anyone give me an example of a tragedy?"

A little boy raises his hand and says, "If a kid runs out in the street after a ball and gets hit by a car."

Bush says, "No, that would be an accident. Can anyone else try?"

A little girl raises her hand and says, "If a busload of kids drove off a cliff."

Bush says, "No, that would be a great loss. Come on, anyone else?"

A boy raises his hand and says and says, "If you and Mrs. Bush was on a plane and it blew up."

Then Bush says, "Well, Yes, but can you tell me why it would be considered a tragedy?"

And the little boy says, "Well, it wouldn't have been an accident, and it sure as heck wouldn't have been a great loss."

2006-08-05 04:39:09 · 27 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

Jokes & Riddles - August 2006