Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

2006-08-05 04:27:56 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

"Lady, you are SO busted!"

2006-08-05 04:25:14 · 10 answers · asked by opjames 4

Do you really pull those paper protectors down and balance yourself on it?

Does that thin paper really make the difference from biohazard safe to disease ridden total chaos?

2006-08-05 04:21:30 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

If you go to home depot walk down the aisle where the doors are displayed and feel compelled to knock.

2006-08-05 04:06:57 · 10 answers · asked by e_deckwa 5

President Bush used his first veto to federal funding for the embryonic stem cell research.
However at G8 meeting reporters microphones picked up his off the record comment "Stem cells can be dangerous if people used them while driving the car"

2006-08-05 03:55:06 · 20 answers · asked by Pd 6

2006-08-05 03:47:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I was walking down the road, I met with 5000 bird. I said "Good Morning 5000 birds" The reply "We are not 5000, but you plus us time 2 give us five thousands bird.

2006-08-05 03:44:35 · 12 answers · asked by problemsolver86 3

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."

2006-08-05 03:35:02 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

An escaped convict was trying to break into various houses to find guns and money. He broke into one house to find a young couple in bed. He took the husband and tied him to a chair and while he was tying the young wife to the bed, he leaned in and kissed her neck. He then got up and went to the bathroom.

The husband then began talking to his wife. "Honey," he said. "This man is obviously an escaped convict, look at his clothes. Do not reject his advances, if he wants to have sex with you, just do it regardless of how much he repulses you. If you don't please him, he will kill us both. I could tell by the way he kissed your neck he wants you so be strong, and I love you."

The wife replied with "He wasn't kissing my neck, he whispered in my ear that he was gay, and thinks you're cute and he asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. You be strong honey, and I love you too."

2006-08-05 03:32:41 · 15 answers · asked by ticklefoot 4

2006-08-05 03:24:25 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

there was traveller in a forest and a gang of pirates have stripped him and robbed all his wealth. I was stripped and tied to a tree after some time a calf has come to the same place.
At the same time once good samaritan like you has see this traveller stripped down there.....

Can you guess what traveller was yelling to the Good samaritan

2006-08-05 03:08:54 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

They are super funny and the ebook website (which I don't make money from ) gives instant ebook delivery!

2006-08-05 03:08:53 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-05 03:01:19 · 16 answers · asked by stone 4

The child was a typical four-year-old girl -- cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
"Now do you understand?" he asked.
"I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"

2006-08-05 02:50:06 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

The one who makes it doesn't need it
the one that buys it doesn't keep it
the one that sells it doesn't use it
the one that's using it never knows it being used
What am I?

2006-08-05 02:47:46 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-05 02:42:31 · 13 answers · asked by Mystique 2

these should be good

2006-08-05 02:42:01 · 6 answers · asked by Cody 1

2006-08-05 02:40:17 · 36 answers · asked by :) 2

and why? I can be stubborn as a mule, can almost see people wanting to drag me across the ground on my haunches, even feel the brush burn. OUCH!!

2006-08-05 02:37:39 · 10 answers · asked by laughsall 4

common thing for both of them

2006-08-05 02:29:49 · 7 answers · asked by SWEETIE 1

2006-08-05 01:48:23 · 15 answers · asked by Michael E 1

Three coins that equal $0.55 - one is not a nickel. What are they?

2006-08-05 01:45:58 · 14 answers · asked by ti 1

2006-08-05 01:15:12 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-05 00:57:32 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Teacher: (1)There is a frog,(2)Ship is sinking, (3)Potatoes cost Rs 3/kg. Then,what is my age?

STUDENT: 32 yrs.

Teacher: How do you know?

STUDENT: Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

2006-08-05 00:51:41 · 17 answers · asked by Electric 7

hey guys can you think off a funny nickname or the following name laura doleman thanks

2006-08-05 00:47:23 · 12 answers · asked by scott h 1

*hint* you keep chocolate spread in it :D

2006-08-05 00:46:39 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

I AM AT WORK.!!!! AND I DONT LIKE PAPERWOOOOOORRRRRRKS.....can you help me

2006-08-05 00:33:22 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

The Irish have come up with a New Modern Viagra, it is garaunteed to be 97% FAT FREE.

2006-08-05 00:14:12 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

poor peopl have it
rich people want it
you cant see it but know that its there
if you eat it you will die

what am i????

2006-08-04 23:55:40 · 13 answers · asked by welshwife 4