Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

2006-07-22 19:00:25 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man who lives in Florida goes on vacation to New York and stays at one of the finest hotels he can find. Next year when he comes back he reportedly only spent $5,000; how did he manage this?
(He is not lying.)

Hints:
Why did he go on vacation?
What time of year was it?

2006-07-22 18:48:59 · 11 answers · asked by Ammy 6

2006-07-22 18:44:51 · 27 answers · asked by *S*E*X*Y*e* 3

So whoever can decode this gets 10 points.
YYUR-YYUB-ICURYY4ME.

2006-07-22 18:43:06 · 4 answers · asked by Love My Soldier 3

There was this guy & he had just bought a brand
new Farrari F-50 and he was taking it for a
cruise. He was stopped at a red light and this
little boy on a mopehead stopped next to him and
was at awe over the car.

He asked the guy if he could take a quick look
inside and he agreed. Just as he was getting out
of the car the boy asked the man how fast his car
could go and he said. "Oh, around 175-200. Want
to see?" Of course the boy nodded and waited for
the light to turn green. The man took off at a
very high rate of speed.

As he was traveling down the road he saw a
little light catching up with him and then flew
right past him. 'no! it couldnt be the boy on the
mopehead could it?" He asked to himself. Then the
light came flying back and went way behind him.
The guy then ralized that it indeed WAS the boy
on the mopehead. Then the light started to catch
up with him again. He slowed down a bit to catch
up with the boy to find out exactly how he got
the little bike to go that fast and in a stunned
voice the boy looked at the man and siad.."Would
you mind taking my suspenders off your rear view
mirror?"

2006-07-22 18:42:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Have I watched too many Cheech and Chong movies?

Or is it just possible that I made the whole thing up?

2006-07-22 18:41:01 · 6 answers · asked by opjames 4

You are trapped in a room that is 10 ft. square. The room is totally sealed, but not dark. There is a light in the room. You discover that,
as small as the room is, you can see something over 60ft. away.
Now answer this question:

1. What is it that you can see?
(hurry before you run out of air!

2006-07-22 18:37:18 · 14 answers · asked by Ammy 6

A list of the top 10 funniest website URLs created by REAL companies

http://i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=18545

2006-07-22 18:33:53 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

What's green, hangs on a wall, and whistles?

Ten points to whoever can answer it, and name the movie it's from, first. (the verson I saw it in, there's only one, I believe)

2006-07-22 18:30:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-22 18:27:56 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

The teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted the word 'Fascinate'."
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Good, but I wanted the word 'fascinate'."
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted for his bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate" so she called on him.
Johnny said, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her **** are so big she can only fasten 8."

2006-07-22 18:25:32 · 6 answers · asked by What!? No Way!? 4

a guy who ws gettng late for hs train, while n hurry he went 2 a reserved train room,there he found a lady sitting reading a book
,she got surprised and asked wht is he doing there,he told all his tragedy and asked if he cud sit there till next stop so tht he can go in his own seat.lady agreed. after few sec. he asked that as the next stop is far can he hav a nap, she : humm yeah whatever. after a while,he: its too bright and am tired can u close the window, then after few mins he said can u please pull all the curtains and then can u come close, lady wa quite nervous but she agreed, guy: please a bit more, more and more and when tht lady was really soo close he raised his arm and said "how did u like my new bright watch, its gud in dark"

2006-07-22 18:19:44 · 4 answers · asked by Riya 3

ok this nun was vistiting an indian tribe to bring the word of god to them. as she was walking through the village. she sees a man with 1 feather in his headband she says pardon me what is the feather symbolic of? the man replies all my life i have only been with 1 woman. understanding the significance she keeps walking as she comes to a man with 4 feathers in his headband she asked the man what does the 4 feathers mean. he answers by saying all my life i have been with 4 women. she walks away with a look of concern. she sees another man with feathers all over him i mean they were draped down his back and dragging the ground.
she sighs deeply and asked the man what do all of your feathers mean? he then replies me f*** em all me f*** em all big, tall, short, and small me f*** em all. she says thats kind of hostile don't you think? he says hostile, doggystyle, any style me f*** em all. she says oh dear. he replies no deer a** to high run too fast.

2006-07-22 18:14:45 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

I don't thinks shes fat, but I heard she was so fat that she jump up in the air and got stuck!

2006-07-22 18:13:14 · 22 answers · asked by BigPappa 5

I like Sally Little riddles, do you like them too? You know. Sally Little is the little girl that likes somethings but not others. Today, little Sally goes to the zoo, which has all the animals in the world. Quickly, she finds that she likes some animals but not the others.

Sally Little likes some animals.
She likes bison, but not yak.
She likes moose, but not elk.
She likes mouse, but not rat.
She likes sheep, but not goat.
She likes ox, but not cow.
Can you tell me what other animals she likes?
And why she likes them?

2006-07-22 18:09:47 · 7 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

If you have, I need one joke only for every answer.....
thanks a lot...

2006-07-22 17:56:57 · 19 answers · asked by Ken 2

One day a blonde was sitting out in a rowboat
in the middle of a cornfield. Another blonde
drove by and stopped. She hollered out to the
blonde in the rowboat "You're the reason we
blondes have a bad name. If I knew how to swim
I'd go out there and hit you!"

2006-07-22 17:56:00 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-22 17:55:12 · 12 answers · asked by anonymous girl 1

2006-07-22 17:53:35 · 7 answers · asked by Striker 5

Got any good one-lines, Confucious, or books never written jokes... ie, a book never written, The Yellow River, by I.P. Freely
Confusious says, Man with had in pocket, always happy! etc!, best one(s) gets 10 points!

2006-07-22 17:52:30 · 4 answers · asked by kityjane2 3

Mine is: Betty Botter bought some butter but she said my butters bitter if i put it in my batter it will make my batter bitter.So Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.And it was better that Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter.

2006-07-22 17:46:53 · 12 answers · asked by Waz Up? 3

a man was meeting his wife in Florida for their Honeymoon. He couldn't wait to see her so he sent her an e-mail. Unfortunately he left out a letter and sent it to an elderly woman whose husband had died the day before. She read it, screamed and fainted.

The letter read like this:

Hey Hun,

I just arrived and checked in. Everything is ready for your arrival. Can't wait to see you tomorrow! I love you.

P.S. It sure is hot down here!

2006-07-22 17:33:20 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-22 17:32:53 · 8 answers · asked by Jennifer M 2

How can you explain this?

2006-07-22 17:31:13 · 10 answers · asked by Jennifer M 2

i need a good laugh...please help

2006-07-22 17:29:40 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A young woman named Mary was walking down the street in rags with messy Black hair she looked poorer then dirt and another woman came walking up to her, Mary saw that the womans shirt read my son is an honor student, this was the 5 th time Mary had read this on five different women she couldnt take it anymore she yeld "OH YEAH WELL MY SON IS GOD TO BILLIONS OF CHRISTIANS"

2006-07-22 17:24:50 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I want a made up joke by you and I want to be able to use it please. Best one I'll use and the person gets ten points.

2006-07-22 17:18:22 · 6 answers · asked by granite 1

Eventually a mexican will lay both of them.

2006-07-22 17:10:59 · 16 answers · asked by twiztidsdad 5

I like blonde jokes, but u can put ANY good joke you know. Nothing too short, because mostly the shortest jokes are the worst. The joke that makes me laugh the hardest gets the 10 points!!!!

2006-07-22 17:08:39 · 8 answers · asked by Dan 5

As the lawyer woke up after surgery, he said" "Why are all the blinds drawn?"

The doctor answered: "There's a big fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

2006-07-22 16:57:55 · 14 answers · asked by iamigloo 6