Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

2006-06-30 01:21:35 · 17 answers · asked by jfahd 4

Whosoever will give the best comment on my yahoo 360 page will get 10 points. You can go there through my profile.

2006-06-30 01:03:10 · 14 answers · asked by Tanya S 3

A husband gets a phone call from the hospital telling him that his wife has been in a terrible car accident and he should get there before she dies. The husband rushes over and soon meets up with the doctor. The doctor says, 'We have bad news sir, your wife is paralised and will need you to take care of her until the day she dies. You will have to bath her, feed her, dress her, be with her in the toilet, you cant have sex with her, move her, basically do everything for her. Its going to be very difficult and you will have to be with her 24/7.' Horrified the husband is speechless and bursts into tears and the doctor says, 'Just kidding man, shes dead.'

2006-06-30 00:51:25 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

Because they can't get the little mice to ButtF**k

2006-06-30 00:50:19 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Otherwise it would have been called a Teethbrush.

2006-06-30 00:44:20 · 12 answers · asked by DL 6

Please be as Funny and dramatic as possible, anything is accepted.

2006-06-30 00:37:57 · 9 answers · asked by police 6

2006-06-30 00:32:20 · 10 answers · asked by varunchablani 2

2006-06-30 00:26:46 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

If you re-designed the human body,what new bit's would you put on and what would you take off...

2006-06-29 23:42:23 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-29 23:09:14 · 25 answers · asked by Still Waters 1

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"

The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

2006-06-29 23:06:18 · 13 answers · asked by perfect_demise 2

2006-06-29 22:59:32 · 2 answers · asked by Still Waters 1

2006-06-29 22:46:46 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

just a joke i love mexicans

2006-06-29 22:13:46 · 6 answers · asked by thementalpatient2005 2

just a joke carlito dont put a hit out on me

2006-06-29 22:06:09 · 7 answers · asked by thementalpatient2005 2

its just a joke people no hate mail pleaze

2006-06-29 22:02:17 · 6 answers · asked by thementalpatient2005 2

any of you crazy cats know the answer?

2006-06-29 21:57:24 · 20 answers · asked by sinnedfairy 5

One day, Ah Beng is walking down the street. As he walk past the busy street, he heard a soft voice, "fifteen...fifteen....fifteen....". Hence, he walk towards the voice and listen carefully. As the voice get nearer, the voice get louder. FIFTEEN! FIFTEEN! FIFTEEN! FIFTEEN!Then he realise there's 2 hole on the wooden fence and he peek into it, and can you guess what he saw and what happen next? heheheh

2006-06-29 21:40:36 · 12 answers · asked by mp3juz4u 1

A classical one:
Schwarzenegger's is long, Madonna doesn't have one, the Pope doesn't use it.

2006-06-29 21:37:26 · 7 answers · asked by eDiNa 2

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that Three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering. Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

2006-06-29 21:36:43 · 35 answers · asked by Tuppence 4

my so called friend lies a lot she says she knows dia mirza,zayed khan very well and they always chat with her .i want to give her a good answer.can u help????

2006-06-29 21:33:28 · 11 answers · asked by kool tanya 1

A chicken goes into the library, walks up to the librarian, and says,"Book". The librarian says,"You want a book?"
"Book".
"Any book?" "Book."
So the librarian gives the chicken a novel and off it goes.
An hour later the chicken comes back and says,"Book-book"
The librarian says,"Now you want two books?"
"Book-book."
So she gives the chicken two more novels. The chicken leaves but again comes back later.
"Book-book-book."
"Three books?"
"Book-book-book."
"Three books?"
"Book-book-book."
So the librarian gives the chicken three books, but she decides she'll follow the chicken and find out what's going on. And the chicken goes down the alley, out of town and toward the woods, into the woods and down to the river, down to the swamp, and there is a bullfrog. The chicken sets the books down by him. The bullfrog looks at the books and says," Reddit....Reddit...Reddit..."

Ham and eggs: a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

2006-06-29 21:25:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Q : What does a woman and a linoleum floor have in common?
A : If you lay them both right the first time you can walk on them for years!

2006-06-29 21:19:59 · 13 answers · asked by Norman Conquest 3

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal
his mother couldn't help but noticing how beautiful John's roommate
was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and
his roommate, and this only made her more curious. Over the course of
the evening, while watching the two react to each other, she started to
wonder if there was more between John and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John saying, " Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver gravy ladle. You
don't suppose she took it, do you?"
John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a
letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote:

2006-06-29 21:11:30 · 7 answers · asked by ♥Gilmore♥ 5

A young family had invited thir pastor and his wife for supper one night. The mother asked her young son to set the table.

But when the group they all sat down to eat, they noticed there was no silverware beside the plate of the preacher's wife.

"Sweetheart," his mother said.."why didn't you give her a fork and spoon?"

"Because, Mom," the boy replied,..........."Dad said she always eats like a horse."

2006-06-29 21:09:32 · 11 answers · asked by snuggels102 6

Women don't have it and don't want it. Men got it, think it's good thing but they often try to get rid of it..

2006-06-29 21:08:14 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

lol

2006-06-29 21:05:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-29 21:02:50 · 5 answers · asked by chilli 4

2006-06-29 20:56:28 · 11 answers · asked by momofoneson 3

What if people bought cars like they buy
Computers?

The car companies don't have help lines
for people who don't know how to drive,
because people don't buy cars like they
buy computers, imagine if they did.....

Helpline: General Motors Helpline, how can I help
you?

Customer: I got in my car and closed the door and
nothing happened!

Helpline: Did you put the key in the ignition slot
and turn it?

Customer: What's an ignition?

Helpline: It's a starter motor that draws current
from your battery and turns over the engine.

Customer: Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How
come I have to know all these technical terms to
use my car.

Helpline: Toyota Helpline, how can I help you?

Customer: My car ran fine for a week and now it
won't go anywhere!

Helpline: Is the gas tank empty?

Customer: Huh? How do I know?"

Helpline: There's a little gauge on the front
panel with a needle and markings of 'E' and 'F'.
Where is the needle pointing?

Customer: It's pointing to 'E'. What does that
mean?

Helpline: It means you have to visit a gasoline
vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can
install it yourself or pay the vendor to install
it for you.

Customer: What? I paid $18,000 for this car!
And your telling me I to keep buying more
components? This is outrageous! I want a car that
comes with everything built in!

2006-06-29 20:47:36 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous