You know you're a redneck when...?

Answer 1

You fall through your bathroom floor while trying to stand on your tub to view the cool shiny new pants you just made because you don't have a full lenght mirror, i.e.... you are poor and no one bothered to fix the floor.
You have more refrigerators in your yard than in your kitchen.
Your summertime decorations include fly tape strips and bug zappers.
Your car runs better in neutral than in drive, and does not have a reverse.
Your back hair has back hair.
You think that ostrich is "the other red meat."
You singed your belly button hair while tending the grill with a bottle of lighter fluid.
Your garden has more carpet than the inside of your house.
At least four of your relatives has a name that includes the name, Bobby Joe, Billy Joe, Jim-Jo, or any other variation of a name including "Joe" and at least one half of these Joes have mullets.
You have at least five items of NASCAR memorabilia on the SAME vehicle.
Your baby doesn't wear clothes, your teenager doesn't wear shoes, and your grandmother doesn't wear her teeth.

Answer 2

You Know You're A Redneck When...

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.


2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.


3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.


4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.


5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.


7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.


8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.


9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.


10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.


11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.


12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.


13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.


14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.


15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.


16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.


17. You have a rag for a gas cap.


18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.


19. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom's so clean.


20. You can spit without opening your mouth.


21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.


22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.


23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.


24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.


25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.


26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.


27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.


28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.


29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.


30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

31. If your family tree doesn't branch.....

Answer 3

-Your tooth brush really means toothbrush
-Your new tv sits ontop of your old one
-You lost the rest of your teeth
-You stand under the mistletoe at christmas and wait for granny and cousin sue ellen to walk by
-Your family tree doesn't branch out
-Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event
-Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed
-Your home has more miles on it than your car
-Your brother-in-law is your uncle
-The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, ****head?"
-You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge
-Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a six-pack
-You've been too drunk to fish
-Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle
-Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare
-You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance
-You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos
-Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator
-You mow your lawn and find a car
-If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.
-Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
-You go Christmas shopping for your mom and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
-It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it
-You are a redneck if you state you are not a redneck
-You know when your a redneck when, you yell HOE DOWN!, and your wife hits the floor.
-You know when your a redneck when, your grandmother can successfully execute the sleeper hold.
-You know when your a redneck when, your lawn furnature used to be your living room furnature.
-You know when your a redneck when, you have been married 6 times and still have the same in-laws


check ya later ♥

Answer 4

You clean your ear with a car key.
You refer to the National Enquirer as "the paper".
You turn your underwear inside out so you can wear them for another five days.
You truck has (at least) four CB antennaes.
Both of your shirts are plaid.

Answer 5

Your mom comes out of the bathroom and yells, " ya'll come look at this before I flush it."

Answer 6

the halloween pumpkin on the front porch has more teeth than your wife

Answer 7

i'm going with mandy m that is funny and i'm going with the pumpkin joke!

Answer 8

your house is on wheels and you drink beer

Answer 9

your sister is your cousin, aunt, brother and uncle

Answer 10

your family tree doesn't branch