what happning with me tell me pleses besties ans
2007-12-23 02:30:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Diet & Fitness
What is the difference between a Berufsbildende Schule and a Gymnasium in Germany?
2007-12-23 02:30:13 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Studying Abroad
After you acquire your RE license, what do you have to do to validate your license in order to sell property.
2007-12-23 02:30:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Renting & Real Estate
Here from P&S?
2007-12-23 02:30:03 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
John Lennon - Merry Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8jw-ifqwkM
What does Christmas mean to you?
Sincere answer only please!
2007-12-23 02:30:03 · 1 answers · asked by ? 6 in Religion & Spirituality
2007-12-23 02:29:35 · 2 answers · asked by siouxperwoman 1 in Other - Diseases
Did you're hand disapear?
2007-12-23 02:28:59 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
I'm writing ANOTHER fantasy story that takes place back in the medieval times. There is a fourteen-year-old maiden named Magdalin (Maggie) who lives in a kingdom called Esperalda, and she's tired of her father always telling her that women are only there to clean and cook for their husbands. After her mother dies, Maggie takes this is a que to run away from home. She stays with her best friend Clarence for the first week for some help and support. The main reason for her departure is because she wants freedom, and also because she wants to find a husband, but one who is sweet kind and down-to-earth and won't make her do all the work. She thinks she finds the right guy in the town she travels to, but it turns out he just wanted her for her money. She then discovers that her heart will lead her back home to Esperalda to marry Clarence. Feedback, please, and some ideas to make it more original?????
2007-12-23 02:28:33 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Royalty
Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!
Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !
Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.
Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.
Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
A: Because it's to far to walk.
Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
A: Forty feet of track - all straight!
Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A PENguin.
Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
A: On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.
Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claus!
Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.
Q: Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side.
Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.
Q: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
A: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.
Q: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
A: Okay everyone, sack time!!
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.
Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A: A subordinate claus.
Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log.
Q: Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because the angel had said, "No L!"
Q: What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
A: Santa caught in a revolving door!
Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it " soots " him!
Q: What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
A: Pour Santa flush on him.
Q: Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
A: Its true . . . Comet cleans sinks!
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.
Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Because every buck is dear to him.
Q: How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive" ?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
Q: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet of handkerchiefs for Christmas?Q: Olive ?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Olive?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
Q: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
A: It was wound up already.
Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
2007-12-23 02:28:14 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.
The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn't argue and neither could I, so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.
When out in the yard the dog started barkin', I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin. He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."
I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus, and you ain't taking me in without probable cause." Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night." I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like."
The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly, that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly. He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry." I said, "Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."
"It's no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he said. "The man I'm describing in dressed all in red. I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean. Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen."
Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell, it wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in jail. I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten, and I thought that my wife had been drinking again."
When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost. I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's. But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head, and stopped on the roof of our good neighbour Red.
Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder, a freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter. Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun, when outta Red's chimney this feller did run.
And slung on his back was this bag over flowin'. I thought he stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'. So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!" But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.
So I popped a warning shot over his head. Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled. And as he flew off I heard him extort, "That's assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court."
2007-12-23 02:28:12 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!?
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows:
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth
2007-12-23 02:28:09 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
December 14, 2003
Dearest Dave,
I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased darling!
With truly the deepest love,
Agnes
December 15, 2003
Dearest Dave,
Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.
With all of my love,
Your Agnes
December 16, 2003
Dearest Dave,
You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what more should I expect from such a nice person.
Love,
Agnes
December 17, 2003
Dear Dave,
Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Agnes
December 18, 2003
Dearest darling Dave,
It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. You truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the previous days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, you managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!
All my love,
Agnes
December 19, 2003
Dear Dave,
When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.
Cordially,
Agnes
December 20, 2003
Dave,
What is with you and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There are bird droppings everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny you weirdo, so stop with the birds.
Sincerely,
Agnes
December 21, 2003
O.K. wise guy,
The birds were bad enough. Now what do you expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined by them, and I can't move in my own house! Just lay off me or you'll be sorry!
Agnes
December 22, 2003
Hey loser,
What are you? You must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!
You'll get yours!
Agnes
December 23, 2003
You rotten scum!!!
There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a day all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are going to the bathroom everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! You creep! I'm sicking the police on you!
One who means it!
December 24, 2003
Listen you evil, sadistic, maniac!
What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet; they were trampled to death by the cows. I hope you are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!
Your sworn enemy,
Agnes
December 25, 2003
The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois
Dear sir,
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If you attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on site.
Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
2007-12-23 02:28:07 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles
so theres this guy that i have a huge crush on and he likes me too but were not going out. hes in 11th grade and im in 9th. he asked me to come over today but idk how to ask my parents
any ideas???
2007-12-23 02:28:05 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating
i have bought samsung lcd last week some times when i turn it on the screen is black and just sound is work after i turn it off and turn on again lcd works correctly and screen shows
what is the problem ?
2007-12-23 02:28:01 · 2 answers · asked by amir666air 1 in TVs
are you responsible to all his or properties. What are you rights according to the law and should you be resposible to her children well being if her husband and wife has passed away. Please help as i was appointed as an administrator.
2007-12-23 02:27:57 · 2 answers · asked by jurassic3228 2 in Law & Ethics
2007-12-23 02:27:41 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Beauty & Style
2007-12-23 02:27:16 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Women's Health
if you discovered the drug you needed 2 save your life had been tested on animals would you have the conviction 2 not take it
2007-12-23 02:26:49 · 24 answers · asked by john s 3 in Other - Pets
I started with the bug last night around 730 pm... knock on wood i haven't vomited since around 3 or 4 this morning, however i still have diarrhea. I don't really want to eat anything but im looking for what things are safe to drink to keep fluids in me... fluids that wont cause vomiting please!.... I know people usually say ginger ale but that makes me want to vomit..... so far ive tried ice water... should i stay away from sugary drinks such as Gatorade and juices? Last night i tried Popsicles and they came up... however i tried one Popsicle today and its stayed down... when is it safe to try saltines and rice? (bland stuff) like i said i don't feel like eating though.
2007-12-23 02:26:47 · 6 answers · asked by j 4 in Other - Health
The reason why I asked this question, is to see who is really educated in regards to this subject. Is it Jewish people of today, Is it African people, or is it the Arabic people. So many ideas have been thrust upon us who these people really were a lot of us do not know. Please google it you will be amazed.
2007-12-23 02:26:28 · 4 answers · asked by Solany J 2 in Religion & Spirituality
I am very into World War II and I am going to move to Houston and I want to a unit. 82nd Airborne, 101st Airborne, or some German unit is what i want to join. If anybody has any info tell me. Thanks.
2007-12-23 02:26:05 · 1 answers · asked by 1944man 3 in Hobbies & Crafts
i mean they like cry a little.
2007-12-23 02:26:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Parenting
My husky has found some rubber ball in my yard, and then before I could stop him he has eaten it, he chewed it and he totally ate the whole ball.The ball he found is a bit smaller than a tennis ball, and now since that he can't or won't eat anything, just drinks water.I was total crazy when he was eating that ball, he puts anything he finds in his mouths.I have a big yard and children's from school are passing by it, and they are throwing stuffs in my yard- I guess he found that ball that way.
So I need help, husky hasn't eaten anything for a whole week, he looks like he is loosing weight, and he just lies around and won't play or run anymore, and he stretches him self a lots.
I am far away from a vet and I don't know how could I get him there since I don't have a car, and he obviously can't walk for a long time.Please if anyone knows how to help my Husky let me know what should I do.Happy Holidays.
2007-12-23 02:25:51 · 10 answers · asked by Marco 1 in Dogs
Do you believe evolution proves that there isn’t God? If you do, please elaborate for me and explain how it proves that there isn’t a God.
I’m an Agnostic.
2007-12-23 02:25:50 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
i am a HUGE MCR fan and when i answer or ask MCR questions, there's always some hater saying "MCR SUX!" or crap lyk that. why do they do that??
2007-12-23 02:25:38 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
John Lennon - Merry Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8jw-ifqwkM
Tell what it means to you.
Please, only sincere answers!
2007-12-23 02:25:37 · 14 answers · asked by ? 6 in History
This article by a level headed, thinking Muslim ending with the words: "So let us leave the traditional Christmas alone. In a nation with such a rich Christian heritage it is entirely appropriate that this celebration is Christian." shows what arrant nonsense is being fed to us by secular manipulators who suggest that Christmas is offensive to people of other faiths. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml;jsessionid=DI2JNWQTAPUI3QFIQMFSFFWAVCBQ0IV0?xml=/opinion/2007/12/23/do2311.xml
2007-12-23 02:25:17 · 12 answers · asked by Doethineb 7 in Religion & Spirituality
2007-12-23 02:25:09 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Military
hi i need help on where (websites, etc.) can i apply for school grants. i am going to college within 6 months from now. i been looking up school grants from the gov't on the internet but i cant tell if it is a scam or not. so if anyone can help me i would appreciate it.
2007-12-23 02:25:07 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Financial Aid
Just a wierd 'o random question :)
2007-12-23 02:24:39 · 5 answers · asked by Soa's Fate~ 5 in Other - Beauty & Style
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