Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!
Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !
Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.
Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.
Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
A: Because it's to far to walk.
Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
A: Forty feet of track - all straight!
Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A PENguin.
Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
A: On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.
Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claus!
Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.
Q: Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
A: Because it has long-distance runners on each side.
Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.
Q: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
A: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.
Q: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
A: Okay everyone, sack time!!
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.
Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A: A subordinate claus.
Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log.
Q: Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because the angel had said, "No L!"
Q: What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
A: Santa caught in a revolving door!
Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it " soots " him!
Q: What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
A: Pour Santa flush on him.
Q: Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
A: Its true . . . Comet cleans sinks!
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.
Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Because every buck is dear to him.
Q: How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive" ?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
Q: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet of handkerchiefs for Christmas?Q: Olive ?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Olive?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
Q: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
A: It was wound up already.
Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
2007-12-23 02:28:14 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ho ho ho funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
merry Christmas
2007-12-23 02:31:14 · answer #1 · answered by Luck dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute, Funny, Nice CLEAN jokes.
Instead of these perverted ones.
Enjoy a star and have a Merry Christmas.
2007-12-23 02:48:47 · answer #2 · answered by cutegir11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those were good! Hope you have a Merry Christmas!
2007-12-23 03:21:55 · answer #3 · answered by Andrea H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is Good king Wenceslas's favourite Pizza?
Deep pan crisp and even
2007-12-23 03:57:03 · answer #4 · answered by Sam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
merry christmas
2007-12-23 02:33:36 · answer #5 · answered by Milfman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a big 10/10 lol.
2007-12-23 06:25:35 · answer #6 · answered by country bumpkin [sheep nurse] 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahah I get to laugh and earn 2 points , thanks.
Have a merry x-mas
2007-12-23 02:39:20 · answer #7 · answered by Jeffrey C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
2007-12-23 04:03:53 · answer #8 · answered by Denz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋