Now I'm no scientist (yet) but here is my theory thus far:
BAGELS PREVENT SYPHILIS
Just hear me out on this. I have eaten a blueberry bagel for breakfast every morning this week. I have also not contracted syphilis this week. Some would say this is simply a coincidence, I believe it is much more that that.
Lets all open our history books to Chapter 11. Prostitutes in the 17th and 18th centuries had a rough life. They were always hungry, they had no money, and they had rashes all over their tangs (see note at bottom of page). Syphilis began to have a serious impact on the prostitution industry because no one wants to sleep with an infected hooker. A few very inventive prostitutes decided to create merkins (think toupee for the genitals) to hide their infections. This seemed to work and only furthered the spread of disease. Anyhow, getting back to my original point, prostitutes couldn't afford the finer things in life. For example....bagels. None of these women could afford to buy these delicious breakfast treats and all of these women had syphilis. Are you starting to see my logic? This can't be a coincidence. Not on this large of a scale. Since I don't actually have a lab in my apartment I have thus far been unable to run any tests to prove my theory but I have a strong gut feeling that I'm right on this one. I think it actually has something to do with the way they first boil and then bake the bagels but I'm just guessing at this point.
In conclusion I dare any of you to prove me wrong!
Please tune in tomorrow for my lecture entitled: Capt'n Crunch...The Cure For AIDS
Note--there is actually a U.S. submarine named the USS Tang, learn more about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/uss_tang_%2...
2007-02-15
08:15:34
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9 answers
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asked by
Jacqueline
3