Now I'm no scientist (yet) but here is my theory thus far:
BAGELS PREVENT SYPHILIS
Just hear me out on this. I have eaten a blueberry bagel for breakfast every morning this week. I have also not contracted syphilis this week. Some would say this is simply a coincidence, I believe it is much more that that.
Lets all open our history books to Chapter 11. Prostitutes in the 17th and 18th centuries had a rough life. They were always hungry, they had no money, and they had rashes all over their tangs (see note at bottom of page). Syphilis began to have a serious impact on the prostitution industry because no one wants to sleep with an infected hooker. A few very inventive prostitutes decided to create merkins (think toupee for the genitals) to hide their infections. This seemed to work and only furthered the spread of disease. Anyhow, getting back to my original point, prostitutes couldn't afford the finer things in life. For example....bagels. None of these women could afford to buy these delicious breakfast treats and all of these women had syphilis. Are you starting to see my logic? This can't be a coincidence. Not on this large of a scale. Since I don't actually have a lab in my apartment I have thus far been unable to run any tests to prove my theory but I have a strong gut feeling that I'm right on this one. I think it actually has something to do with the way they first boil and then bake the bagels but I'm just guessing at this point.
In conclusion I dare any of you to prove me wrong!
Please tune in tomorrow for my lecture entitled: Capt'n Crunch...The Cure For AIDS
Note--there is actually a U.S. submarine named the USS Tang, learn more about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/uss_tang_%2...
2007-02-15 08:15:34 · 9 answers · asked by Jacqueline 3 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
That is inspirational. Right up there with the Wonky Trolley Wheel Supermarket Conspiracy, and the One Shoe Left By Side Of Road Alien Abduction plot. And bagels and funnels go perfectly together. You put the FUN back in Funnel.
2007-02-15 10:04:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay, now find for me a statistic of the number of people with syphilis today that eat bagels daily.
You can sit here and tell me that all you want, just like people can say that (just random numbers here) 80% of sexually abused children bite their nails and 68% of sexually abused children have trouble looking adults in the eye when speaking to them. That's all fine and good, but tell me how many children who have not been sexually abused share those characteristics.
I'll show you better: 100% of sexually abused children breathe. This statistic is far more consistent than the first two. However, 100% of children who were not sexually abused have the same attribute: breathing.
Therefore, your argument is pointless until you can show me how many people who have syphilis eat bagels daily. Also, I don't eat bagels at all, and I do not have syphilis. Explain that one.
2007-02-15 11:31:05 · answer #2 · answered by mkbrocato 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dare me to prove you wrong?
First off, that would require me to assume that you have proven anything. You are employing the logical fallacy of small sample size, as well as begging the question.
Feel free to continue being silly, but don't play with scientific terms you don't comprehend.
2007-02-15 12:48:40 · answer #3 · answered by lizettadf 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you are right if you have never screwed anything other than a bagel then you cant have any std
2007-02-15 08:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by hotblonde 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do virgins eat for breakfast?
2007-02-15 08:24:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okie dokie!
2007-02-15 08:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by MommyTwice-TwiceTheLove 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please quit asking this question. It's completely ridiculous!
People, including children and infants, die every single day from AIDS and you are coming on here and making jokes about it. It's completely rude and cold hearted. Grow up!
*REPORTED*
2007-02-15 08:20:09 · answer #7 · answered by Alli 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
''Does bagels prevent syphilis'' You are an idiot LOL
2007-02-15 08:27:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes, your information is 100% correct.
fyi----------------i have a bridge in brooklyn, ny, that i'm willing to sell to you for $1. let me know as i might put it on e-bay.
2007-02-15 10:40:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋