For years, even as far back as primary school I can remember being diabolical at maths, I just don't understand the subject at all, the most I can do in maths is add up, multiply/divide and subtract single numbers. Anything more difficult then this just baffles me I also have problems with left and right and feel I lack common sense in general. I have recently completed an access to university course to allow me to begin a primary teaching course at university which I am due to start in a couple of weeks, the access course involved maths at GCSE level and while I passed I only did so with the help of my partner whom I met on the course and the only thing I could do was to copy his work, in short I cheated my way through the maths part of the course which allowed me to pass overall.
I have tried learn direct courses which I found no help at all because I just can't seem to contain any new information on the methods of working things out, apart from working directly out of a text book during maths studies which has all the methods and answers I just don't have any clue about how to work things out.
I have filled in questionairres on dyslexia and discalculia and never tick enough boxes to prompt any further investigation. My abilities in English are fine and I always gain very high marks in this subject so I don't think I am dyslexic. My confidence is very low and I have flitted in and out of jobs since first leaving school because of emabarrassment at not being able to follow instructions or constantly having to ask people to repeat what they want me to do. In short I feel like an idiot although I seem to be intelligent in other ways, I am told I am a very capable writer, clever in my understanding of human behaviour and other things you would associate with a highly intelligent person but I am not I am just stupid and don't know how to change.
I am also quite a lazy person, I just can't seem to motivate myself, this has resulted in me calling in sick on a number of occasions because I just can't be bothered to go to work, numerous employers have let me go because of absence, I feel guilty for being so lazy but I must admit I would quite happily just not get out of bed if it wasn't for my toddler. I spend all day at home and yes my confidence is also low due to my weight which I have battled with unsuccesfully since the age of 19, I make plans to do things everyday but it seldom happens I just find it so difficult to get up get washed and dressed and leave the house before late afternoon. I keep telling myself I should just 'grow up' but I just don't know how.
I heard somewhere that people can suffer from a part of the brain being under developed and causing the things I have described, could this be the case for me? I am so desperate to finally be able to just get on with things normally without feeling like a clueless idiot with no common sense please help me? I am desperate after 14 years.
2006-09-15
03:58:52
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5 answers
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asked by
Smoochy Poochy
6
in
Mental Health