Do you think I will have the potential to be the type of parent that will abuse her children? I'm scared that I will become an abusive parent.
I've been told that I work well with children. I do with other kids in a variety of areas, but it seems to be differnt with my own siblings. I'm afraid I will end up being the type of person that just hates her child, or even be physically and emotionally abusive. I have a younger half sister, who grew up with very permissive parents. I'm not allowed to discipline them, so when they kick me, lock me out of the house, tell me I'm stupid, steal my stuff etc., I just sit there and say, "Oh, please don't do that." I hate it. I scare myself, because sometimes I think, "What she really needs is some intense punishment. That would fix her behavior." I hate to admit it, but I am referring to physical punishment. Sometimes, I think of horrible things to say. I do not act upon these feelings, but I'm afraid that one day, I might with my own child.
I'm worried that when I become a mom, I will have this hatred towards my child. I'm scared that I will become an abusive parent because of how strongly I may hate my child. I find that I am similar to my mother in many ways, and she did not handle her anger well at all. My mother would do some pretty "crazy" things when she was angry, which included beatings, punching me, banging my head against the wall, scratching me, telling me to die, hair-pulling etc. etc. on a daily basis. In fact, my teacher in third grade actually reported her to the authorities because they suspected abuse. I see a lot of her in myself--the anger, the frustration, and the need to "show the child who is boss." It sickens me. I grew up so terribly afraid of her, and I don't understand why I have these feelings. Shouldn't my past actually do the opposite? Instead, I feel like I'm might be just like my mother.
I think I might have trouble bonding with child. I don't think I'm capable of loving someone as much as I should. I want to be a "Brady Bunch" kind of mom. I want my child to grow up emotionally healthy and love me, but I don't think I'm capable. What should I do?
2006-08-19
18:41:10
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9 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Mental Health