Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

2007-03-26 04:56:57 · 30 answers · asked by mandaloo_mandi 1

A man goes in to the drug store and asks if they have anything to stop hiccups.

The female pharmasist leans accross the counter and slaps the man right in the face,"what the hell did you do that for " he shouts?
Well said the pharmasist" you don't have hiccups anymore do you ?"

"No you idiot i don't but my wife who is in the car still does."

star if funny

2007-03-26 04:50:53 · 27 answers · asked by thewokinn 1

First god created earth, then he rested...
Then he created man, then he rested...
Then he created women and no one has rested since!

2007-03-26 04:48:18 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-26 04:46:39 · 10 answers · asked by Useless Info 2

The teacher tells them to make a sentence with the words liver and cheese:


* White kid says: "My mom made me a liver and cheese sandwich and it was sooo good."


*Black kid says: "My daddy told my momma to go get the Government cheese And she didn't, so my daddy punched her in the liver."


*MEXICAN kid says: "Some kids were trying to look under my sister's dress and I told the cabrones, "Hey Mensos!!! liver alone, cheese my sister!"

2007-03-26 04:10:43 · 22 answers · asked by KräzY◄ PIkäzO!!♫ 2

Went something like, mate expects hairy legs and grumpy attitude, give birth to a walnut in your sleep and wake up when the kid is half grown? I'd love to see it again.

2007-03-26 04:07:44 · 5 answers · asked by gypsy_rosalee 2

. there was a blonde girl who wanted her hair cut so she went in the hair dressers and the hairdresser said take your headphones of "no i cant thier reminding me something"
but she took them of cos the hairdresser said she wouldnt cut her hair with them on later on when the hairdresser had finished she notice that the blonde was dead she then had a listen to the headphones and they said... breath in... breath in...breath out


. there was three blondes and they had one wish to get over this big cliff the first one said:i wish i could fly she got over the over side and fell back in excitment, the next one wished she was the best jumper and jumped over but she fell down in the middle of the jump and the last one wished she was brunnet and walked across the bridge provided


are they good? (by the way my mates mate told them to me so i hope there not offensive to you blondes anyway i like the colour blonde i wish i was blonde :) )

2007-03-26 04:05:06 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-26 03:58:43 · 13 answers · asked by wooba goomba green teeth 2

2007-03-26 03:55:32 · 35 answers · asked by lushpoppy 4

2007-03-26 03:54:21 · 13 answers · asked by lushpoppy 4

A queen bee was buzzing
A worker bee was buzzing
A honey bee was buzzing
and a killer bee was buzzing.

How many bees were in buzzing?

2007-03-26 03:52:51 · 21 answers · asked by prettywoman 6

It goes up, but at the same time goes down. Up toward the sky, and down toward the ground. It's present tense and past tense too, come for a ride, just me and you.

What is it?

I have no voice and yet I speak to you, I tell of all things in the world that people do. I have leaves, but I am not a tree, I have pages, but I am not a bride or royalty. I have a spine and hinges, but I am not a man or a door, I have told you all, I cannot tell you more. What am I?

What can bring back the dead; make us cry, make us laugh, make us young; born in an instant yet lasts a life time?

Where will you find roads without cars, forests without trees and cities without houses?

Two legs I have, and this will confound: only at rest do they touch the ground!
What am I?

2007-03-26 03:51:47 · 5 answers · asked by Ms* Shae* 3

2007-03-26 03:45:57 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him; " i am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out i go with the dog."
"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell, and i can smell the trees and grass when i am 300 feet from the ground" he answered.
"But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered: Ohhhh, the dog's leash goes slack.

2007-03-26 03:45:12 · 12 answers · asked by Duisend-poot 7

this is a riddle...please answer with answers that make sense...not just for the points...Thanks...

2007-03-26 03:44:11 · 7 answers · asked by gaucha 3

The policeman says "excuse me sir, have you been drinking?" the motorist replies "No officer, why is my driving erratic?" to which the policeman says "No sir , your driving's excellant, i just noticed the fat, ugly bird in your passenger seat."

2007-03-26 03:43:47 · 13 answers · asked by ? 3

Replace them to find four associated names and one which does not belong. Which is the odd one out?

CMLL FCHS TLP SPRC STR

2007-03-26 03:36:53 · 4 answers · asked by 02hdrk 1

One to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

Fourteen to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

Seven to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

Seven more to point out spelling/grammatical errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

Five to flame the spell checkers.

Three to correct spelling/grammar flames.

Six to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another six to condemn those six as stupid.

Fifteen to claim experience in the lighting industry and give the correct spelling.

Nineteen to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb (or light bulb) forum.

2007-03-26 03:28:20 · 10 answers · asked by sniffels323 5

Something very extraordinary happened on the 6th of May, 1978 at thirty-four minutes past twelve a.m. What was it???

2007-03-26 03:27:10 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-26 03:26:29 · 20 answers · asked by bumblecherry 5

Wait!!! This is not the only one

I have 2 more such riddles
http://1972.rediffblogs.com

Try to solve all of them

Piece of advice:- Think out of the box

2007-03-26 03:25:47 · 15 answers · asked by Don 2

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure...go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "£70,000"

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .. The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £950,000"

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."

2007-03-26 03:20:12 · 9 answers · asked by sugarscamp 5

2007-03-26 03:19:47 · 13 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7

2007-03-26 03:16:48 · 31 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7

2007-03-26 03:13:59 · 43 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7

2007-03-26 03:12:08 · 5 answers · asked by ♥gigi♥ 7

This deaf mute strolls into a chemist’s shop to buy a packet of condoms.

Unfortunately, the mute cannot see any of his required brand on the shelves, and the chemist, unable to decipher sign language, fails to understand what the man wants.

Frustrated, the deaf mute decides to take drastic action: he unzips his trousers and slaps his todger on the counter, before placing a £5 note next to it.

Nodding, the chemist unzips his own trousers, performs the same manoeuvres as the mute, then picks up both notes and stuffs them in his pocket!

Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the chemist with a wild gesturing of his arms

“Sorry mate,” says the chemist, shrugging his shoulders. “But if you can’t afford to lose, you shouldn’t gamble!”

2007-03-26 03:07:43 · 9 answers · asked by Jay A 3

I heard this question on a radio trivia contest in 1995 and never found out the answer it suppose to be a very common word.

2007-03-26 03:07:27 · 8 answers · asked by neoaltro1 4

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good
trip.

The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked.

"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for
nine months to see if it is a girl !!!"

2007-03-26 03:06:38 · 4 answers · asked by salima_guriya 1

This one is pretty tough

Read the problem carefully
The clue lies in it

10 points to first correct answer

This is the link
http://locknkey.rediffblogs.com

Good luck!!!

2007-03-26 03:03:33 · 3 answers · asked by Don 2