Jokes & Riddles - March 2007

Park in it man! They just get worse don't they?!

2007-03-08 08:20:13 · 8 answers · asked by Lovely Witch 25 2

2007-03-08 08:15:23 · 12 answers · asked by Cutiegirl 1

ok smartasses get this one??

2007-03-08 08:14:25 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-08 08:13:11 · 14 answers · asked by Buckaroo Banzai 3

"Talk about a huge br**st!"
"Tying the legs together keeps the inside m**st."
"It's Cool W**p time!"
"Whew, that's one terrific spr**d!"
"I'm in the mood for a little dark m**t."
"Are you ready for seconds yet?"
"It's a little dry, do you still want to e*t it?"
"Just wait your turn, you'll get some!"
"Don't play with your m**t."
"Just spread the l*gs open and st*ff it in."
"Do you think you'll be able to h*ndle all these people at once?"
"I didn't expect everyone to c*me at once!"
"You still have a little bit on your chin."
"Use a nice smooth str**e when you wh*p it."
"How long will it take after you st**k it in?"
"You'll know it's ready when it p*ps up."
"Wow, I didn't think I could h*ndle all of th*t!"
"How many are coming?"
"That's the b*ggest one I've ever seen!"
"Just l*y back and take it easy - I'll do the rest."
"How long do I be*t it before it's ready?"

2007-03-08 08:10:24 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Your mum! Sorry tis rubbish I know. Really trying to remember all the jokes, and this is the first one to come to me!

2007-03-08 08:09:39 · 10 answers · asked by Lovely Witch 25 2

if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

2007-03-08 08:09:20 · 10 answers · asked by California C 1

you all got the gum easy ,how good r u this time

2007-03-08 08:06:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-08 08:06:29 · 4 answers · asked by tnt_bbe 2

Last Halloween, all eyes turned to stare as a gorgeous redhead walked into the costume party stark n*ked. The alarmed host, Peter, rushed to intercept her. "Where's your costume?" he hissed through clenched teeth.

"This is it," the beautiful woman calmly explained. "I came as Ad*m."

"Adam?" her host exploded. "You don't even have a d**k!"

"I just got here, Peter," the redhead replied. "Give me a few minutes."

2007-03-08 08:05:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-08 08:03:08 · 5 answers · asked by Darren M 2

A man wanted to enter an exclusive club but did not know the password that was required. He waited by the door and listened. A club member knocked on the door and the doorman said, "twelve." The member replied, "six " and was let in. A second member came to the door and the doorman said, "six." The member replied, "three" and was let in. The man thought he had heard enough and walked up to the door. The doorman said ,"ten" and the man replied, "five." But he was not let in.

What should have he said?

2007-03-08 08:02:51 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

little billy was playing in school when he cuts his finger so the teacher says let me put a plaster on that billy,he says no no i need some cider, she says what do you need cider for,he says well my sister said to her friend that every time she gets a prick in her hand she likes to put it inside her.

2007-03-08 07:59:40 · 3 answers · asked by murphyslaw 2

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband c*vorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice ch*ck he could and c*pping a little fe*l here and a little k*ss there. His wife up to him and being a rather s*ducti*e babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

2007-03-08 07:59:11 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-08 07:57:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

anybody have some good insults/ yo momma jokes i can use against people?!

2007-03-08 07:57:40 · 3 answers · asked by peter file 2

2007-03-08 07:57:26 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

two men talking at the bar,..fist man says to the other,if i sha??ed youre wife,and we had a kid would that make us related?...no no said the second man, that would make us EVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-08 07:53:33 · 10 answers · asked by reem2 3

A man is in the grocery store with his young son. They go to check out at the front of the store. Directly in line in front of them is a HUGE FAT LADY. The man knows from experience that his son is prone to making embarrassing comments pointing out obviouse flaws in people so he leans down and whispers in his son's ear, "Now you need to be nice. This lady can't help being fat so you shouldn't say she is fat out loud. Do you understand?" The son answered, "Yes daddy. I won't say out loud that the lady is fat." The father is relieved that he has prevented another uncomfortable situation. About that time, the fat ladies cell phone starts beeping. The son screams at the top of his voice, "WATCH OUT DAD! SHE'S BACKIN UP!'

I don't care who you are. Now that's funny!

2007-03-08 07:51:38 · 14 answers · asked by yagman 7

how many plant in ears?

2007-03-08 07:45:33 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-03-08 07:45:32 · 17 answers · asked by tnt_bbe 2

Paddy was in New York

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"

2007-03-08 07:39:07 · 16 answers · asked by chris w. 7

Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary Louise to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Joe Bob, the manager, to finish waiting on customer. When Joe Bob was finished, Mary Louise asked, " How much for the teapot?" Joe Bob replied, "That's silver and it costs $100!" "My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary Louise exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Bubba had sent her to buy, and Joe Bob went to the back room to find it. From the back room Joe Bob yelled, "Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?" Mary Louise replied," No, but I will for the teapot."This is why you can't send a woman to a hardware store!

2007-03-08 07:33:38 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

chair or stool?



ps, please no "wtf" "ur a moron" and stuff like tht, this is a simple question

2007-03-08 07:24:41 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Fill in the blanks.

Dear_______,

I am writing you this _______ to say that I _______________ lately.

I have a ___________, his name is ______________ and he _________ in a __________ in the _______ and he wears _________ and __________.

I am ___________ in with _______ and I am ______________.

_____ friends will ________ all the time and I __________ them.

We will make a _______ and _______ them to ____________, we will live a life of __________ and _________.


Wish us luck
__________

P.S.
I am at the neighbors house, all of the above was _________ And wanted to let you know there are ___________ and __________in the top drawer.

2007-03-08 07:20:39 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

lets see how good you sports buffs are :)

2007-03-08 07:15:29 · 12 answers · asked by Wizard of Ahhs 3

1) Stand facing a large tree or wall.
2) Close eyes tightly.
3) Keeping eyes closed, run straight ahead as fast as you can.

2007-03-08 07:12:11 · 19 answers · asked by Double O 6

that when you add and multiply it altogether. It come out the same answer. The number could be any number
ex. a+a+a+a+a+a=c
a*a*a*a*a*a=c

2007-03-08 07:11:06 · 9 answers · asked by §evin 4

will they be offended?

2007-03-08 07:07:17 · 27 answers · asked by rofgta 1

PLEASE, NO BLONDES TAKE OFFENCE! I AM PARTIALLY NATURALLY BLONDE MYSELF AND LOVE BLONDE JOKES- DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ! You've been warned (this will go in each blonde joke post I'll make)

A blonde and brunette sit watching the 5 'o' clock news where a man is threatning to jump off a bridge.

the blonde says to the brunette i bet you £100 that he doesn't jump the brunette replies ' ok i bet you £100 that he does jump.

Sure enough the man jumped off of the bridge and killed himself.

the blonde gets out £100 and gives it to the brunette.

The brunette says 'i can't take your money.'

'Why not replies the blonde?'

'Because i watched the 12 '0' clock news and he was on then so i knew that he was going to jump.'

The blonde replied 'i watched the 12 'o' clock news as well but i didn't think that he would jump again.'

2007-03-08 07:06:25 · 31 answers · asked by Attic Gnome 6