Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

found this recently
http://www.thehumorarchives.com/joke/Happy_Farthers_Day

2007-02-10 03:12:50 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-10 03:12:01 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-10 03:09:53 · 14 answers · asked by Ashley 2

2007-02-10 03:08:06 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ok, I usually don't ask questions like this but I am lost. I had a great idea but it turns out I can't really do because of the equipment needed.

I am a senior in h.s. this year and there have been some pretty lame senior pranks in the past. I want to pull off an epic prank. One that will be remembered for a long time.

So my question is. What is a really good senior prank?

2007-02-10 02:47:26 · 10 answers · asked by Shady 3

If nine thousand,nine hundred and nine pounds is written as £9,909,how should twelve thousand,twelve hundred twelve pounds be written?

2007-02-10 02:37:46 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-10 02:28:22 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-10 02:17:21 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-10 02:16:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

lets see how many people answer this question, every1 who answers this question just put ur name and lets see if we can get over 1000 answers !!!

2007-02-10 02:08:04 · 72 answers · asked by Anonymous

what do you call nuts on a wall? WALNUTS! what do you call nuts on a chest? CHESTNUTS! what do you call nuts on a chin??????????? try to guess and i'll tell you if your right!

2007-02-10 01:54:17 · 13 answers · asked by piano_man_969 2

when your down i am up
when your up i am down
carefully look at me-and you may see a clown
i have no colour but blue
can you guess me?

2007-02-10 01:53:01 · 6 answers · asked by ? 3

a man see's a lady in a shop that he's sure he has seen before but he cant think where so he can't stop staring. they get to the checkout and she finally asks him

"you seem to know me,are you the father of one of my children?"

"Oh no your not that woman i slept with on my stag night are you?"

"no" she says "im your sons teacher"

2007-02-10 01:51:41 · 12 answers · asked by *♥* donna *♥* 7

Three women at the doctors office. The first one goes in to see the doctor. When the doctor goes to examine her he notices a big "Y" on her chest.

The doctor asks, "Why do you have a big "Y" on your chest?"

She replies, "Well, my boyfriend went to Yale and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater."

The doctor nods and continues on with the next patient. When he examines her he notices a big "H" on her chest.

Agian, the doctor asks, "How did you get a big "H" on your chest?" The woman replys "My husband went to Harvard and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweater."

The doctors just nods his head and continues on with the last patient. As he examines her he notices once again that this woman also has a letter on her chest. A large "M".

He says, "Dont tell me, your boyfriend went to Michigan?"

"No ... " replies the patient. "But my girlfriend went to Wisconsin"

2007-02-10 01:40:15 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

The DA stared at the jury, unable to believe the "not guilty" verdict he'd just heard. Bitterly, he asked, "What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?"

The foreman answered, "Insanity."

The attorney responded, still incredulous, "I could understand that. But, all twelve of you?"

2007-02-10 01:35:51 · 9 answers · asked by Jodi C 5

A pirate was talking to a "land-lubber" in a bar. The land-lubber noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over one eye. The land-lubber just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape. He asked the pirate,

"How did you lose your leg?" The pirate responded,

"I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica!" His new acquaintance was still curious so he asked,

"What about you hand. Did you lose it at the same time?"

"No," answered the pirate. "I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys." Finally, the land-lubber asked,

"I notice you also have an eye patch. How did you lose your eye? The pirate answered,

"I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and pooped right in me eye." The land-lubber asked,

"How could a little something like that make you lose your eye?"

The pirate snapped, "It was the day after I got me hook!"

2007-02-10 01:34:30 · 2 answers · asked by Jodi C 5

shakespear wets himself in the pub...landlord says "get out your bard"

man"doctor doctor i feel like a bridge"
doctor"good god man whats come over you"
man"16 cars a bus and a bicycle"

2 nuns driving down a country lane when all of a sudden dracula jumps on the roof of the car...
sister mary says "quick sister anne show him your cross"
sister anne "oi dracula get off the fu**ing car you wa**er"

2007-02-10 01:32:23 · 12 answers · asked by Uncle Elroy 4

A northern girl says you can and a southern girl says y'all can!

2007-02-10 01:20:06 · 14 answers · asked by cuban friend 5

2007-02-10 01:19:37 · 22 answers · asked by Silly Shelu 1

no sir it's just the way i walk...

2007-02-10 01:11:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-10 01:08:18 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-10 00:57:24 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-10 00:44:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

resort to putting down others to generate laughs?

2007-02-10 00:40:09 · 5 answers · asked by bullet_to_the_brain 4

1. Dealing With Relatives



One man solved his problem of too many visiting relatives by borrowing money from the rich ones and loaning it to the poor ones.


Now none of them visit!



2. Dope



A sweet little old lady had a bumper sticker that read, "Grow your own dope."


Pretty liberal, I thought, until I saw the rest of the message: "Plant a man!"



3. Congress



Q. What's the difference between the Library of Congress and the House of Representatives?


A. In the Library of Congress you're not allowed to lick the pages!



4. Hazardous



A nurse showed the crop of new young nurses around the military hospital.

"For you, ladies, this is the most hazardous area in the hospital. These men are nearly well!"

2007-02-10 00:33:01 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-10 00:28:13 · 6 answers · asked by attidude_69 1

With Jam in!

2007-02-10 00:23:46 · 12 answers · asked by jan the gooner 2

when someone makes a joke about gay people and they say they are into water sports?

i don;t get it, there was a joke on little brittan about it.

2007-02-10 00:16:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man and his daughter load up the buckboard with farm goods to take into town and exchange for goods at the merchantile. after they load the wagon they head home. on the way some bandits held them up and stole their flour and ham, the horse, wagon and everything. as they are walking back to the ranch ,the daughter takes out her ring and necklace and puts them back on. good god daughter how did you manage to save those? the man asked. well daddy, i seen them bandits comin and i stuck them up my vaginer...they continued walking and the man was shaking his head. whats wrong daddy? she asked. well , i couldnt help but think if your mother was here we could have saved the horse and wagon...

2007-02-10 00:16:10 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-10 00:15:59 · 30 answers · asked by mijisili 1