Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

Would it have to have a "tinselectomy".

2007-02-10 09:27:02 · 4 answers · asked by LolaCorolla 7

I'm a mother of four kids and I just moved in to the four bedroom apartment 6 month ago. since I been here my neighbor kids be knocking on my door to borrow things such as sugar, butter, flour,mayo,bread etc and the list go on and on. yesterday I told the mother about her kids and she act like she don't care. The mother hang outside all day long with her friends and she dress very nice and her kids be clean with nice name brand clothes too. you know rocawear,applebottoms,babyphat... northface I mean expensive things that i can't even afford to wear or buy my kids. because my paid check go's to bills,rent,and food.and what ever they need. What do i do . I'm not a mean person. but i'm living from paid check to paid check some help i need advice

2007-02-10 09:15:00 · 8 answers · asked by bETtEr ThINg 2 CoMe 1

White bird featherless
Flew from Paradise,
Down to the castle wall.

Along came Lord Landless,
Took it up handless,
And rode away horseless to the King's white hall.

2007-02-10 09:14:56 · 5 answers · asked by RedWolf 2

2007-02-10 09:08:30 · 10 answers · asked by pete s 1

I'm sure everyone has heard someone say "that's how I roll". So how do you?

2007-02-10 09:02:55 · 9 answers · asked by BIG BAD E 1

hello ther i want to eat a salad,but y?is it so complicated jjust to buy an apple from the dog across the street.or is it so prevrse just to walk like i was holdiong to 2 pieces of paper.why is it so that i have to count by 2's while eating my submarine outside of my escalator?

2007-02-10 08:58:24 · 9 answers · asked by keysonyanos 2

2007-02-10 08:38:03 · 3 answers · asked by skater 2

Three guys are on vacation, so they check in at a hotel. They ask the manager how much per room, and he says 30 dollars. They say OK, and they check out one room for all three of them. Each one forks over 10 dollars to pay for it. They go up to their room. An hour later, the manager thinks he charged them too much, so he tells the bellboy to go give them back 5 dollars. On the way to the room, the bellboy wonders how he is going to fairly divide 5 dollars between 3 people, so instead, he just takes 2 dollars and returns $3 to the men, so each man got a $1 refund. So in essence, the each paid only 9 dollars.

Heres the mystery: each of the 3 men paid 9 dollars, so that is $27 total, right? Plus the $2 the bell boy took, that equals $29... Where did the other dollar go?

2007-02-10 08:36:26 · 15 answers · asked by t _la 3

paddy sat on a plane next to a priest, a flight attendant asks paddy if he would like adrink in which he replyd yes il have a rum an coke.. the attendant asks the priest if he would like a drink and the priest replys -i would rather be raped by a thousand whores than let liquor pass thease lips, paddy passes his drink back and says so would i..i didnt realise we had a choice.

2007-02-10 08:36:02 · 4 answers · asked by haze 2

Yo daddy's like cement, Takes him two days to get hard.

2007-02-10 08:28:31 · 12 answers · asked by Qt PIE 3

a whiteman went to jamaica for his holidays and he was in the changing room on the beach when the bloke next to him dropped his shorts.. The white man noticed that the Jamaican had the word Wendy tattood on his p.ecker..Oh said the white man feeling smug" i have Bettylou on mine"
Oh no said the jamaican" Its cold here today but It normally says

Welcome to Jamaica We Hope You Enjoy Your Stay.......

2007-02-10 08:20:38 · 19 answers · asked by chris w. 7

2007-02-10 08:19:33 · 14 answers · asked by Richard 7

my mom has a password on her computer so we cant go on. can u help me guess---the hint is mommy---it is a word spelled backwords---it has 5 letters. please help!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-10 08:17:49 · 7 answers · asked by Catie Batie 2

2007-02-10 08:15:00 · 3 answers · asked by Richard 7

2007-02-10 08:10:48 · 5 answers · asked by Richard 7

2007-02-10 08:09:00 · 20 answers · asked by Richard 7

O-k there were three men traped on a deserted island, no food and no water. One day one of the men found a lamp by the beach, the man picked it up and showed it 2 he's friend. After looking at it, One of them cleaned it off with a rag. Just then a man appeared with a slide next 2 hm. He said it was a drink slide, He said that while you go down it say any drink you desire. The first man went down and said " Gatorade!" At the end was Gatorade. The second man goes down and says " Water!" Sure enough at the end was fresh water. Then the third man went the LONG slide and said " WWWEEEEEEE!" Please is it funny I'm only 11.

2007-02-10 08:07:40 · 19 answers · asked by singing_8star 1

2007-02-10 08:03:57 · 14 answers · asked by Richard 7

2007-02-10 07:59:18 · 18 answers · asked by Richard 7

the most shameless begger wins 10 pnts.

2007-02-10 07:42:14 · 33 answers · asked by skater 2

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phones numbers for your family of 3.

4. You email the person at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have email addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on tv has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone. which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 ( or 60 ) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around and go get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting you head sideways to smile. :- )

12. You're to busy to notice there was not # 9 on this list.

13. You actually went back up to see if # 9 was here.

2007-02-10 07:30:45 · 35 answers · asked by whenwhalesfly 5

Divorced " BARBIE " she comes with all Kens accessories.

2007-02-10 07:28:13 · 15 answers · asked by Smurf 7

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.


A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.

Q: Why did the blonde have square ****?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

2007-02-10 07:24:21 · 11 answers · asked by Aleerfas*Mwah!* 2

i prefer them to be online classes.

2007-02-10 07:21:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

At Duke Universtiy there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an " A " so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a huge party. They had a great time, but after all the hearty party, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Mon. They decided to take the final on Tues. They explained to the Professor they had visited friends and had a flat tire on the way home. The professor agreed they could take the final the next day.

Next day, the Professor put them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth five points. Cool, they thought, thinking this was going to be easy....then they turned the page.

On the second page was written....



For 95 points: Which tire?

2007-02-10 07:15:02 · 10 answers · asked by whenwhalesfly 5

2007-02-10 07:05:53 · 2 answers · asked by anthony 1

does anyone know where i could find pics of the guy buried in his car?

2007-02-10 07:05:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

What walks on 4 legs in the morning 2 legs in the afternoon and 3 legs in the evening ( hint: think of it as time span of life.)

2007-02-10 07:03:37 · 18 answers · asked by dylan f 2

Which two states share the same six letters in the same order, pronounced differently?

2007-02-10 07:03:01 · 6 answers · asked by troothskr 4

Follow the instructions below exactly and do the math in your head as fast as you can. It may help to say the answers aloud quietly.

What is:

2+2?

4+4?

8+8?

16+16?

Quick! Pick a number between 12 and 5

u dont have to type ur answers right away....i will tell u ur answers in approximately 15 mins after posting of the question....

2007-02-10 06:58:08 · 14 answers · asked by chimi c 1