Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

2006-11-10 06:51:01 · 5 answers · asked by Grin 1

This is not a question, IT IS AN ORDER!

2006-11-10 06:49:52 · 19 answers · asked by Rhapsody 5

Which came first the chicken or the egg?

2006-11-10 06:41:37 · 14 answers · asked by hlovestosing 2

And Murphy asks "Paddy does your dick burn after you have sex?" Dont know said paddy," I never tried lighting it "

2006-11-10 06:39:17 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-10 06:35:41 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

been sitting in a room with others and busted out laughing, when no one else was?

2006-11-10 06:31:48 · 12 answers · asked by sweetsmile 1

2006-11-10 06:04:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

what did he see?

2006-11-10 06:03:59 · 17 answers · asked by *Glamour* 2

By the chips in her teeth

2006-11-10 06:03:23 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

what goes up and down the hill but never moves?

These are two separate questions, answer them separately.

2006-11-10 05:56:57 · 12 answers · asked by chimi c 1

it is a riddle. do you know the answer?

2006-11-10 05:50:05 · 7 answers · asked by jason c 1

A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says

"Hey Koala ! what are you doing?"

The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a
few joints.

After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get
a drink from the river.

But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into
the river.

A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to
the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a
joint with the
koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the
river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest,
finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up
and says "Hey you!"

So the koala looks down at him and says:

dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"

2006-11-10 05:38:36 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-10 05:36:33 · 13 answers · asked by bjhjr07 2

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.



Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.



By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident causing the loss of life
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

2006-11-10 05:36:08 · 9 answers · asked by dididdleydihi 3

What hair color do they put on the license of a bald man?!?!

2006-11-10 05:32:37 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-10 05:31:21 · 5 answers · asked by Pedro Xavier Ramirez 2

If mothers feed their babies with tiny spoons and forks, what do chinese mothers use....toothpicks?

2006-11-10 05:27:47 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

CHUNK!!!!

Disclaimer - I do not condone or endorse racially motivated jokes. My sincere apologies if anyone was offended.

2006-11-10 05:19:32 · 9 answers · asked by chimi c 1

just curious....that would be awesome!

2006-11-10 05:16:58 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

have you ever pulled a toastie apart

2006-11-10 05:10:06 · 7 answers · asked by ? 4

I you take 30 apples away from 68 apples how many apples do u have

2006-11-10 05:02:29 · 9 answers · asked by virgin 4

A black Puertorican man went into a resturant back in the 1950's. He sat down, the waitress came up to him. He said hello, I would like a hamburger, french fries and an ice tea. The waitress said, I'm sorry, but we do not serve ****** here. He said, I didn't order ******, I ordered a hamburger, french fries and an ice tea.

2006-11-10 04:54:34 · 21 answers · asked by Selena Jade's Mommy 4

You have 2 usa coins that have to equal 55 cents and one of them cant be a nickel. What are they?????????????? The one who answers this correctly first gets best answer

2006-11-10 04:52:56 · 8 answers · asked by virgin 4

2006-11-10 04:52:18 · 9 answers · asked by bunny2cute4me 1

So this girl gets married to a multi millionaire , her dad says , you did all right there darlin he's worth ten million quid make sure you make the marriage work , after about 6 mths she comes home crying her eyes out , whats the matter says her dad is'nt ten million quid enough for you , she says it's not the money dad it's coz he fcuks me up the a*se all the time and i'm fed up with it , ten million quid or not , i'v had enough , my bullet hole used to be like a nice little one pound coin and now it's as big as a 10p piece , her dad said , you'r fcuking mad , you gave up all that money for ninety p !!

2006-11-10 04:47:15 · 8 answers · asked by nicemanvery 7

I have a few of my own.

2006-11-10 04:44:41 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

1. Shafter (California, USA)

2. Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)

3. Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK)

4. Bastard (Norway)

5. Twatt (Orkney, UK)

6. Arsoli (Lazio, Italy)

7. Muff (Northern Ireland)

8. Wankie (Zimbabwe)

9. Climax (Colorado, USA)

10. Nobber (Donegal, Ireland)

11. Lickey End (West Midlands, UK)

12. Fukum (Yemen)

13. Lord Berkeley's Knob (Sutherland, Scotland)

14. Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada)

15. Turdo (Romania)

16. Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic)

17. Seymen (Turkey)

18. Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border)

19. Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)

20. Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK)

21. Wanks River (Nicaragua)

22. Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany)

23. Fuku (Shensi, China)

24. Beaver Head (Idaho, USA)

25. Fukui (Honshu, Japan)

26. Shag Island (Indian Ocean)

27. Fukue (Honshu, Japan)

28. Middle Intercourse Island (Australia)

29. Wankie Colliery (Zimbabwe)

30. Chinaman's Knob (Australia)

31. Wet Beaver Creek (Australia)

32. Tittybong (Australia)

33. Pis Pis River (Nicaragua)

34. Dikshit (India)

35. Dog Dyke (Midlands,UK)

36. Wankener (India)

37. Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines)

38. Upper Penguin (Australia)

39. Pratt's Bottom (Kent, UK)

40. Jacks Bush (Salisbury, UK)

41. Black Charlies Opening (Tasmania, Australia)

2006-11-10 04:38:03 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years.

After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away.

Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "We're not surprised," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here!"

2006-11-10 04:32:01 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon.

"Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked.

"Shh!" said the bride "All the neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?"

So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?"

"No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep.

When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?"

"No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."

2006-11-10 04:31:56 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

Its a joke so come on inspire me..........answers later.

2006-11-10 04:29:13 · 17 answers · asked by Twinkle *little fairy* 2