Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

My friend had gotten the correct answer... but i am not telling you untill the end of the session..

2006-08-29 11:44:04 · 6 answers · asked by Gothic Girl 4

this was an actual question given on a university chemistry exam:
'is hell exothermic(gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? support your answer with proof.'
most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s law(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when its compressed) or some variant. one student, however, wrote the following:

'first, we need to know how the mass of hell is changing in time. so, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. therefore no souls are leaving

as for how many souls are entering hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. some of these religions that exist in the world today. some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. since there are more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as the are we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially

now, we look at the rate of change of volume in hell because Boyle’s law states that in order for temperature and the pressure in hell to stay the same, the volume of hell has to expand as souls are added

this gives two possibilities:
1.if hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose
2.of course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by ms Tracey Nicholson during my first year at college-‘that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you’ and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then (2) cannot be true, and hell is exothermic

this student got the only A

2006-08-29 11:32:58 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

the question is longer just it didnt fit....

2006-08-29 11:24:40 · 13 answers · asked by Ismail K 1

an 80 old man married a 20 yr old girl..
first time alone..
the old man kissed her then show her all 10 fingers.
the girl: Oh! ten times!!
he said "NO! choose one!

2006-08-29 11:23:51 · 5 answers · asked by melody , 3

Peter Rabbit was starving! He came to a farmer's lettuce garden but it was surrounded by a picket fence. Peter knew he must eat soon or he would die. He could barely fit through the fence in his present condition and he knew that if he entered and ate the lettuce he would be unable to fit back through the fence. If the farmer happened to come by he could not escape. The lettuce was too large too fit through the fence. How could Peter eat the lettuce and still manage to escape if the need arose?

2006-08-29 11:23:41 · 11 answers · asked by :) 3

2006-08-29 11:12:30 · 4 answers · asked by :) 3

can be anything

2006-08-29 11:09:11 · 4 answers · asked by sarah j 1

do you have a pet name for farts
like bean bomb,but belch,or ripper

2006-08-29 11:07:35 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

i like this guy on myspace and we are always chatting online. he knows just the right things to say and he seems nice. i really like him
but sometimes it seem that he's trying to avoid me like he doesn't want me to be around.
what do i do

2006-08-29 11:01:06 · 11 answers · asked by jade101 2

this is the riddle the people believe was asked by the ancient spinx of Eygpt. can you figure out the answer?????

what goes by four legs @ dawn,
two legs by afternoon,
and three legs but night fall??????

2006-08-29 10:57:34 · 12 answers · asked by cowgirlup_abby 2

what does man love more than life,
fear more than sin or mortal strife.
what savers spend,
and spendthrifts save.
and all men carry to the grave.

2006-08-29 10:37:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

The largest existing nugget is known as the Ural Giant and weighs 7,860.5 g it is in custody of the Diamond Foundation in Kremlin, Moscow, Russia.

60 000 species of bugs disappear every year as result of the destruction of rain forests. Seven species a day. If the same rate were applied to mammals, all would be extinct by 24 days.

Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

Benito Mussolini would ward off the evil eye by touching his testicles.

During conscription for WWII, there were nine documented cases of men with three testicles.

Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox.

2006-08-29 10:37:05 · 10 answers · asked by Gemini23 4

I am red.
I am dead.
Pull that thick thread and I'll
Chop off a head.

2006-08-29 10:30:14 · 6 answers · asked by Mr T 4

The Bicycle Murder:
A man has just been shot in his appartment. The apartment is furnished with nothing but two chairs, a table, and fifty-three bicycles. The man who shot him was invited over, welcomed in and even sat with the victim at the table before killing him. So why did he shoot him. All the clues you need are there

2006-08-29 10:26:50 · 28 answers · asked by Mr T 4

There are three people in a lift: a clever blonde, Santa claus and a businessman. Suddenly, an £100 note flys in from nowhere. Who gets it?

2006-08-29 10:22:38 · 10 answers · asked by Mr T 4

2006-08-29 10:16:34 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man is walking his dog. The dog runs off into the distance and does not come back. The next day the man sets out to find his dog. He sees his pooch on the other side of a river. The man calls for the dog and it happily comes to his master. There are no bridges and the dog cannot swim. How did he get across?

2006-08-29 10:15:10 · 12 answers · asked by Mr T 4

You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.

You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool, and don't even flinch when people refer to them as NKOTB

Home made Levi shorts (the shorter the better)

You remember when mullets were cool

You had a mullet

You still sing "We are the world"

You tight rolled your jeans.

you owned a banana clip

You remember "Where's the Beef?"

You used to (and probably still do) say "what you talkin' about willis?"

You had big hair and you knew how to use it.

ROCK ON!!!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

2006-08-29 10:05:04 · 5 answers · asked by ♥USMCwife♥ 5

According to ol’ Forrest Gump, it’s because you never know what you’re gonna get. Why else?

If you leave the box closed, the stuff eventually goes bad. But if you open it and sample it, you might get something good.

2006-08-29 09:58:03 · 13 answers · asked by blooutflash 3

1. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
2. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates
3. You ever got seriously injured on a slip and slide
4. You have ever played with a Skip-it
5. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement
6. You remember Popples.
7. Don't Worry, Be Happy
8. You wore like, eight pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
9. you wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do...getting yelled at by younger hip members of the family)
10. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that
11. You remember watching both Gremlins movies
12. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare"
13. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony Tales
14. You remember Alf the lil furry brown alien from melmac.
15. You knew all the characters names and life stories on Saved by the Bell the ORIGINAL class.

2006-08-29 09:57:55 · 19 answers · asked by ♥USMCwife♥ 5

2006-08-29 09:52:54 · 12 answers · asked by Mattman 6

1. You remember reading Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing and all the Ramona books.
2. You know the profound meaning of "Wax On, Wax Off"
3. You wanted to be a Goonie
4. You ever wore fluorescent clothing (some of us . . head to toe)
5. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
6. You've ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf
7. You took lunch boxes to school, and traded Garbage Pailkids in the schoolyard.
8. You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets
9. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence
10. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts
11. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band
12. You thought She-ra and Heman should hook up
13. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
14. You owned a pair of Jelly-shoes
15. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are but what am I"

2006-08-29 09:49:22 · 11 answers · asked by ♥USMCwife♥ 5

I also had sex after my period was gone can I still get pregnant?

2006-08-29 09:48:52 · 11 answers · asked by river 1

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE"
2. You watched the Pound Puppies
3. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton
4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom
8. Two words: Hammer pants
9. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales" (Woo Hoo)
10. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
11. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head
12. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
13. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
14. You played the game "MASH"
15. You wore a stonewashed jean jacket and were proud of it.
16. L.A. Gear...Need I say more
LOL

2006-08-29 09:40:43 · 22 answers · asked by ♥USMCwife♥ 5

2006-08-29 09:14:06 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Google the word "failure" and you will get George W. Bush's bio.

2006-08-29 08:56:19 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-29 08:53:11 · 13 answers · asked by monkey face 1

this dude was funny he said

i was by the bus stop minding my bussience and this old lady for no reason started to cuss kids out so after she was done she was leaving and she told me bye and do u no how when u think sumthing in ur mind and u say it out loiud i looked at her and said bye old bi*ch

2006-08-29 08:48:59 · 18 answers · asked by ermaarthur@sbcglobal.net 3

2006-08-29 08:47:42 · 24 answers · asked by dosyposie 2

You go together like lamb & tunafish...okay spaghetti & meatball if you prefer!

What movie is this from-first correct answer gets the pts.

2006-08-29 08:40:57 · 17 answers · asked by hlpz76 4