Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

:)

2006-08-11 08:26:53 · 26 answers · asked by Isabella 2

check out these woman drivers;;

http://www.teluguone.com/funtime/index.jsp?filename=top10WomanDrivers.htm

2006-08-11 08:20:24 · 6 answers · asked by julie r 1

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their *** to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick their asses!

5. When people say, while watching a film, "Did you see that?". No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, Sunshine?

7. When something is "new and improved!"...Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever experiences!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Dumb-***?

2006-08-11 08:14:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-11 08:12:27 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

Letter Equations are well known phrases or facts where the key words have been replaced with the first letter of that word. These are often in the form of an equation, which contain a number, an = sign and the rest of the obscured phrase or fact

See if you can get this one:

1 S M = 1 G M B to 1 F M

2006-08-11 08:11:59 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-11 08:11:09 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

DISCLAIMER: This joke is not intended to offend or insult Native Americans:




A Native American boy asked his father, “Daddy, how do we get our names when we’re born?”

The father replied, “Well, it’s common for babies to be named after some event in nature that occurred right as they’re born. For example, when you’re sister was born, we saw deer prancing by our village. That’s why her name is Prancing Deer. When your cousin was born, his parents saw several buffalo sleeping nearby, so his name is Sleeping Buffalo. Your mother’s name is Flying Bird, which obviously meant that her parents saw a bird flying nearby when she was born.”

The boy seemed to understand, so his father asked him “Do you have any more questions Two Dogs Humping In The Woods?

2006-08-11 08:03:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

There were two mothers and two daughters,and they all went fishing.All of them caught a fish but when they counted there were only three fish.

How???

2006-08-11 07:58:04 · 7 answers · asked by Erin A 2

why do you even reAD this if you think its stUPid?a?

2006-08-11 07:46:14 · 4 answers · asked by culyoo 1

A cowboy rode to an inn on Friday, stayed two nights, and left on Friday. How could that be?

2006-08-11 07:41:59 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis:
The Wife said she was sleeping.
The Cook was cooking breakfast.
The Gardener was picking vegetables.
The Maid was getting the mail.
The Butler was cleaning the closet.

The police instantly arrested the murderer. Who did it and how did they know?

2006-08-11 07:39:40 · 14 answers · asked by Erin A 2

John went to a party one night. The next day he was asked if he met a lot people at the gathering. "Figure it out for yourself," John said. "Of the girls I spoke to, all but two were blondes, all but two were brunettes, and all but two were redheads." How many girls did he talk to?

2006-08-11 07:36:57 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Once there on there back there screwed! ha it's just a joke don't get offened.

2006-08-11 07:34:03 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

Fill in the blanks using candy bar names:

One ____1___ ____2____ wanted a ___3___, so he took ___4___ behind the ___5___ on the corner of ___6___ and ___7___. He began to feel her ___8___. That was pure ____9___. It made her ___10___. He let out a ___11___ as his ___12___ went up her ____13___ and caused a ___14___. She screamed ___15___ as she squeezed his _____16____ and (Z___17___). ____18___ said, "You are even better than the ____19___".

Soon she was a bit ___20___ and nine months later had a ____21___.

2006-08-11 07:26:42 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

George Bush goes to a primary school to give a speech. After his talk he offers question time.One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.

“Bob”.

“And what is your question, Bob?”

“I have 3 questions.

First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?

And third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.When they resume George says, “OK, where were we? Oh that’s right — question time. Who has a question?”

A different little boy puts up his hand . George points him out and asks him what his name is. “Steve”

“And what is your question, Steve?”

“I have 5 questions.

First, Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?

Second, Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?

Third, What happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?

And fifth, Where is “Bob”? !!

2006-08-11 07:18:48 · 21 answers · asked by Burhan 2

full............

2006-08-11 07:17:34 · 7 answers · asked by no_seeds_aloud 2

No jokes, just riddles. Aaaand... go!

2006-08-11 07:17:08 · 13 answers · asked by Laur 2

lol

2006-08-11 07:14:02 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

No spammers!

2006-08-11 07:00:57 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Whoever can write the best paragraph on why they deserve ten points without using the letter "e" or "t" in any of their words wins ten points.

2006-08-11 06:42:21 · 20 answers · asked by Good Vibrations 2

I need to spice up my day with some quality daily humor - what are you favorite sites? (i already know of TheOnion, Collge Humor, and Ebaums World)

Thanks!

2006-08-11 06:42:10 · 6 answers · asked by lovelive&save$ 1

2006-08-11 06:29:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-11 05:46:34 · 9 answers · asked by cookiemvh 2

a monkey
a donkey
or
any a to z animal

2006-08-11 05:44:42 · 38 answers · asked by niks 1

2006-08-11 05:44:34 · 23 answers · asked by VJEMW 2

2006-08-11 05:43:46 · 8 answers · asked by Mary 4

It must have been one of you lot because it was fine when I left it.

2006-08-11 05:30:04 · 18 answers · asked by sarah c 7

Ok, maybe I didn't get it right. I heard this on television about 45 years ago. Had to leave the room and never heard the end. Could be the letter was "S"???? Anyway, of all the "questions" I could ask this seemed like one for which I really would like the answer.

2006-08-11 05:27:29 · 4 answers · asked by Steven A 3

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

2006-08-11 05:27:27 · 25 answers · asked by VetteLeo 6

Richard and Robert purchased a retriever.

2006-08-11 05:20:44 · 15 answers · asked by wolvie145 3