Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

WOMAN: Doc there's a bee inside my p_ssy ! DOC: Ok, I'll put honey on my d_ck as bait. WOMAN: Doc, why are you pushing up and down? DOCTOR: Change of plan, I'll drown the bee instead.

2006-07-24 15:39:22 · 11 answers · asked by alexcruz56 2

2006-07-24 15:34:03 · 8 answers · asked by bill2x2001 2

Christmas Cookie Ingredients

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla Sample the Cuervo
to check quality. Take a large
bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of
the highest quality, pour one
level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of
butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar..Beat again. At this
point it's best to make sure the
Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ... just in
case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and
add to the bowl and chuck in the
cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the
turner. If the fried druit gets
stuck in the beaterers just pry it lloose with a
drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who
giveshz a sheet.

Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice
and strain your nuts. Add one
table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
over. Don't forget to beat
off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl out,
finish the Cose Juervo and make
sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS

2006-07-24 15:29:39 · 5 answers · asked by xxxx 2

Chuck Norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass . . .at night.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris doesnt churn butter, he round houses cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
chuck norriss tears cure cancer.. to bad he never crys.
what do you get when you cross chuck norris and a elephant? Nothing because nothing crosses chuck norris
chuck norris can UNscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris doesnt need martial arts, martial arts needs Chuck Norris
bullets dodge chuck norris
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris
chuck norris counted to infiniti TWICE
Chuck Norris can light cigarettes under water.
Chuck Norris went back in time to stop the JFK assasination. When the trigger was pulled, all three bullets bounced off of Chuck Norris beard. JFKs head exploded in sheer amazement.
(got them from http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=7101258 )

2006-07-24 15:26:22 · 6 answers · asked by Legend 4

i personally would start by making him shower

2006-07-24 15:23:15 · 13 answers · asked by Ryan 2

I'm volunteering at our church's vacation bible school. I need riddles/jokes for kids ages 4 through 12. No theme, but, obviously, they need to be clean!!

Prefer riddles, it's great to watch then try and figure them out.

I have three teen boys, the jokes they bring home won't fit the bill....

2006-07-24 15:08:31 · 12 answers · asked by Love2Sew 5

2006-07-24 15:07:27 · 14 answers · asked by Ryan 2

2006-07-24 15:06:11 · 14 answers · asked by Ryan 2

2006-07-24 15:05:30 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-24 15:03:49 · 41 answers · asked by asiab b 2

lets hear some good jokes that make us laugh we know you can do it ill start your mom so old i told her to act her age and she fell over the hill

2006-07-24 14:59:45 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-24 14:55:17 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-24 14:54:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-24 14:51:20 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-24 14:49:16 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-24 14:48:12 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-24 14:45:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-24 14:45:31 · 3 answers · asked by ruby 4

2006-07-24 14:40:53 · 43 answers · asked by . :♥Mercedez♥: . 1

who else here thinks there should be a toilet tissue named HAPPY*SS brand? I mean, all other brand names have nothing to do with what you really do with it.

2006-07-24 14:32:39 · 5 answers · asked by scratchwhiplash 5

how come nobody makes (left guard)? lol

2006-07-24 14:22:37 · 5 answers · asked by Nando 3

a girl in my office has one that says "boobs like mine are dangerous" - and judging from how big hers are I'd say she's right ;-)

2006-07-24 14:13:06 · 2 answers · asked by Deletroix 1

a lady goes into a bar with her goose. then the bartender comes up to her and says, why did you have to bring the pig in with you? then the lady answered, excuse me, i think this is a goose. and the bartender says, excuse me, i was talking to the goose.

2006-07-24 14:12:50 · 10 answers · asked by Mignon26 1

I'm working on a puzzle and I'm stumped. I can't see a way to logically figure it out and am wondering if I should just start guessing. Please don't answer if you aren't familiar with sudoku. Thanks.

2006-07-24 14:05:02 · 12 answers · asked by browneyedgirl 3

no seriously geuss!... who every geusses closest gets best!!!

2006-07-24 14:03:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-24 14:02:06 · 6 answers · asked by . :♥Mercedez♥: . 1

Name a common english word that is 9 letters long. Each time you remove one letter it still remains an english word. go from 9 letters down to a single letter. What is the original word and name the words that it becomes after removing 1 letter at a time. Here is a clue. The ninth and final word is I.

2006-07-24 13:52:56 · 8 answers · asked by Janis G 5

2006-07-24 13:51:33 · 12 answers · asked by Sil78 1

2006-07-24 13:48:25 · 18 answers · asked by Raiderchef 2

what can a man recieve that he cant give to a woman but in strange circumstances could give to a man??

2006-07-24 13:43:59 · 7 answers · asked by chrissy 2