Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

alright then so i heard my boyfriend fart right? All of a sudden i just said " THAT *** HOLE BEHIND YOU IS TALKING ****!" He turned around and said "what asshole?" LOL seriously or what? write back to me.

2006-06-16 08:31:11 · 11 answers · asked by blush3110 2

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office…..but she belonged to someone else… One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said: I’ll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you….but the girl said NO. Johnny said I’ll be fast, I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up. She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend…..so she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won’t even be able to get his pants down.

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened…… She said “The bastard used coins!!”

Management lesson:
‘Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!’

2006-06-16 08:28:54 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two blondes meet in Heaven. "How did you die?", the first one asks."Oh! I died in a freezer," the second blonde replied." So how did you die?" The second blonde asks, "Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman," replied the first blonde. The second blonde then says, "If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!"

2006-06-16 08:28:42 · 11 answers · asked by rqerita 4

Funniest joke?

2006-06-16 08:28:08 · 6 answers · asked by ♥Lily♥ 3

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what is the criteria which defines a patient to be institutionalized.

“Well” said the Director “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him/her to empty the bathtub”.

OK, here’s your test.

1. Would you use the teaspoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

Think about this before you scroll down.

“Oh, I understand” said the visitor A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or teacup”.

“No” said the Director, “a normal person would pull the plug”!

2006-06-16 08:11:32 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

Will the rabbit speed past the turtle but take a nap in my intestines? Will the steady pace of turtle meat make it there before the hare?

2006-06-16 08:02:32 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous

the more you take away from this object the bigger it gets what is it.first one to get it right gets the ten points.

2006-06-16 07:51:11 · 13 answers · asked by hkyboy96 5

I ask them what they wanted and this is what they said...?
Anyway does anyone know the ending to this rhyme...we use to sing it when I was little back in the 60s....If you can't help me with this one....Tell me one of your own...Keep um Clean guys. Thanks

2006-06-16 07:41:58 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

A Cyclops stares from pale white face.
Earrings seven his visage grace.
Atop his head are five tattoos.
Ebon black his pair of shoes.
On his pale back six scars dug deep.
He felt no pain and did not weep.
His job to tumble, bounce and fall;
But he's no fool. No not at all!

Be first to answer!

2006-06-16 07:29:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

OK, there is a man in the Bible, his name is Lamech. He has two wives, one named Adah and the other named Zillah. One night, he's having sex with Zillah, and just as he's about to come, he rears back his head and screams,
"GOD, ZILLAH!!" Get it?

2006-06-16 07:25:36 · 21 answers · asked by kellygirlaj 4

Two men are walkin down the street and one man has carrots in his ears, so the other man asks him "Why do you have carrots in your ears?" and the man with carrots in his ears says "I can't hear u, i have carrots in my ears." lol lololololololoololololololololoololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololoololololololololololololololololoollolloololololololoollololololololoololololololololoololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololoololololololololololololololololoollolloololololololoollololololololoololololololololoololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololoololololololololololololololololoollolloololololololoollololololololoololololololololoololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololoololololololololololololololololoollolloololololololoollololololololoololololololololoolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

2006-06-16 07:04:25 · 13 answers · asked by kYM 2

Neighbours

This quiz was made up by Albert Einstein and according to him 98% will not solve it.
There is a row of five houses, each having a different colour. In these houses live five people of various nationalities. Each of them nurtures a different beast, likes different drinks and smokes different brand of cigars.

1. The Brit lives in the Red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The Green house is on the left of the White house.
5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the Blue house.
15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.

Who has fish at home? (are you one of the 2%).

2006-06-16 07:01:55 · 13 answers · asked by regulusalphaleonis 1

2006-06-16 07:01:08 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-16 06:45:08 · 5 answers · asked by ? 5

2006-06-16 06:38:59 · 35 answers · asked by luthien_ann 2

2006-06-16 06:30:59 · 39 answers · asked by Pearl Treyulin 5

2006-06-16 06:21:04 · 8 answers · asked by d00msdaydisciple 1

There were two mothers and two daughters,and they all went fishing.All of them caught a fish but when they counted there were only three fish.

2006-06-16 06:17:19 · 9 answers · asked by ♥luvbug♥21 1

2006-06-16 06:14:37 · 4 answers · asked by Sedika S 2

2006-06-16 06:14:11 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

No this is not my idea for a new sitcom, although I suppose I could pitch it.
Ok, just ignore my question.
Check out this question it looks good.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/;_ylt=ApHyF74wRIvB594pGGvUwlQjzKIX?qid=1006033040514

or how about this one


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/;_ylt=AvMQwINXfwkqJFYdw7FXYFEjzKIX?qid=20060609220840AAGBMdK

Please disregard my question.


maybe check out this resolved question.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/;_ylt=AkItlqq.H10jbuex81qImaUjzKIX?qid=1006041106915

thank you. now ignore me.

2006-06-16 06:13:43 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

What goes up, and will never come back down

2006-06-16 06:05:26 · 44 answers · asked by Steven R 1

funniest gets 10 pts

2006-06-16 05:41:57 · 16 answers · asked by meowmix 3

Okay, I'm really bored, and this is stretching the whole nose picture entertainment value thing to it's end. But it's still funny. Post whatever you want, the funniest response will get the points.

2006-06-16 05:25:18 · 21 answers · asked by Robert B 3

any thing to do with tea breaks not being long enough

2006-06-16 05:21:17 · 5 answers · asked by annitis 1

If not for that yuck taste, will u bite it?

2006-06-16 05:20:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Who is B and how did he die?

2006-06-16 05:10:04 · 11 answers · asked by G-Money 1

sick, how sick are you he asked, well i'm in bed with my two sisters how sick is that i replied

2006-06-16 04:55:39 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

if u were stuck up with a 60+ old lady who blabbers alot (which u really cant understand coz she has no teeth and has a sqeaky voice) in a lift n have to stay in it............for let say ......5 hrs.....wat would u do???.......most comical ans gets the points

2006-06-16 04:53:31 · 16 answers · asked by askin for timepass!!! 1

In the year 1942, what time was it?

2006-06-16 04:50:02 · 12 answers · asked by crikeyme_mate 4