During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what is the criteria which defines a patient to be institutionalized.
“Well” said the Director “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him/her to empty the bathtub”.
OK, here’s your test.
1. Would you use the teaspoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?
Think about this before you scroll down.
“Oh, I understand” said the visitor A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or teacup”.
“No” said the Director, “a normal person would pull the plug”!
2006-06-16 08:11:32 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
With the high gasoline price, a gas station owner in Texas was trying to increase sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, “Free Sex with Fill-Up.”
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The redneck then guessed 8, and the proprietor said, “You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time.”
A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for a fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, “Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.”
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, “I think that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex.
2006-06-16 08:12:57 · update #1
Bubba replied, “No it ain’t, rigged at all Billy, some folks just get lucky, heck my wife won twice last week.”
2006-06-16 08:13:57 · update #2
LOL.... true classics
2006-06-16 08:25:43 · answer #1 · answered by iamigloo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 2nd one is FUNNY! I live in the land of Redneck & Good-ol-boys.
So farmer Fred calls up his buddy George down the road "Hey ol' friend, you gotta come up here real quick, got sumpin ta show ya!"
When George arrives, Fred rushes him into the kitchen where on the table he has displayed a puzzle.
"Golly Fred, that sure is a nice puzzle. Didja do dat yurself?"
"Sure did George. And it only took me 3 months to finish too!"
"3 months? Is dat good Fred?"
"Well helyea George! It said 3 to 5 years on da box!!!"
2006-06-16 09:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by Helzabet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha!!!! That's funny...I needed that. I'm so bored.
2006-06-16 08:19:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋