Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

does anyone know that joke about the Kentucky decoy. It's a joke about the guy leaving the bar pretending to be drunk, only to be the decoy. It is so funny, and I can't remember it.

2006-06-23 08:43:18 · 3 answers · asked by jjameslovr 2

2006-06-23 08:29:25 · 16 answers · asked by babiicakes 2

I have two eyes, but can not see. I have two ears but can not hear. I have a nose than can not smell. I have a mouth that can not speak.
What am I?

2006-06-23 08:20:40 · 20 answers · asked by eissalc_13 2

Needs some thinking.....only a second, though ! Good luck !!!!!

2006-06-23 08:16:23 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two women on their way back from a night out stop in a graveyard for a p***,
One wipes her fanny with her knickers,
The other uses a wreath,
Their two husbands were in the pub the next day,
Guy says "I'd better watch my wife, she came home last night with no knickers on",
The other guy says "that's f*** all, mine came home with a card wedged in her a*** saying we'll never forget you from all the boys at the firestation!"

2006-06-23 08:04:26 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-23 08:02:25 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-23 08:01:31 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

make it something good. yo mammas blondes rednecks anything

2006-06-23 07:49:55 · 7 answers · asked by heart_xavier 2

What can you catch but not throw??????

2006-06-23 07:48:31 · 33 answers · asked by wolfmanjr40 2

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.
Several members did not approve of her nasty habit, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Henry, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told Henry, and several others, that everyone seeing it there knew what he was doing, and what his problem was.
Henry, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.
Later that evening, Henry quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house, walked home and left it there all night.
You gotta love Henry.

2006-06-23 07:47:28 · 15 answers · asked by newburg_2_fine 3

Hai, this is a small concept of the 'human relationship in a nutshell'....this is not a question !

The 6 Most hardest words to say:
'I admit, I made a mistake'
The 5 most helpful words:
'You did a good job'
The 4 most winning words:
'What is your opinion?'
The 3 most soothing words:
'I am sorry'
The 2 most pleasing words:
'Thankyou'
The one most important word
'We'
The least important word
'I'

......................................................
Thanks everyone, Have a nice day !

2006-06-23 07:43:45 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-23 07:36:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

How do you get a giraffe in a refridgerator? All of the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting except one, who? How do you swim across the piranna infested lake?

2006-06-23 07:29:21 · 7 answers · asked by eissalc_13 2

An elephant asks a camel, "Why are your breasts on your back?"


"Well," says the camel, I think that's a strange question from
somebody whose Wiener is on his face."

Hee-hee
Questions for U! Did you hee-hee too? Where are you hee-hee'in from? And do you have a Hee-hee for me?
Best Hee-hee comment gets to do the little 10 point dance!
SmileyCat : )

2006-06-23 07:26:42 · 6 answers · asked by SmileyCat : ) 4

2006-06-23 07:24:31 · 8 answers · asked by smilesfromred 5

2006-06-23 07:18:36 · 12 answers · asked by jjameslovr 2

2006-06-23 07:11:48 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

as i went to saint ives i met a man with 7 wives each wive had 7 sacks each sack had 7 cats kittens cats sackes and wives how many went to saint ives? ps ask as many people as you can to awnswer this question!

2006-06-23 07:04:19 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous 1

2006-06-23 06:50:06 · 4 answers · asked by c j b 2

Remove thy sticks from thy butts, please.

2006-06-23 06:45:38 · 13 answers · asked by whoremonger 1

Gay.
Ha! Just teasing. Got my kid bro sitting here who's one. Vegetarian, not gay>

2006-06-23 06:33:03 · 9 answers · asked by whoremonger 1

2006-06-23 06:26:36 · 6 answers · asked by annie j 1

2006-06-23 05:55:53 · 12 answers · asked by popcorn 1

2006-06-23 05:50:05 · 19 answers · asked by MONKEYBRAIN 1

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.

do u like it??

2006-06-23 05:45:35 · 20 answers · asked by ivegotalovelybunchofcoconuts 2

there were two kingdoms and they were having some conflicts. one king decided that he wanted to know wat was going on in the other kingdom so he sent over a spy named gary. so gary goes over to the other kingdom and hides in a bush outside the palace to see if he can figure out how to get in. a peasant walks up to the guard and the guard says "six" and the peasant says "three" and the guard lets him in the palace. another peasant walks up to the guard and the guard says "twelve". the peasant says "six" and the guard lets him in. so by now gary thinks that he knows how to get in so he walks up to the guard and the guard says "eight" and gary says "four". unfortunately he was incorrect and the guard shot him? what was the correct answer and why??

2006-06-23 05:43:37 · 10 answers · asked by ivegotalovelybunchofcoconuts 2

It is just before Scotland v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game.


Ronaldinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his team-mates looking a bit glum.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're sh*te and we can't be bothered."

Ronaldinho looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub."

So Ronaldinho goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the Teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads:

Brazil 1 - Scotland 0 (Ronaldinho 10minutes).

He is beating Scotland all by himself, anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on." They put the Teletext on.

Result from the Stadium: Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes) - Scotland 1 (Angus 89 minutes).

They can't believe it; he has single-handedly got a draw against Scotland!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho.
They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands.

He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down."

"Don't be daft; you got a draw against Scotland, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!"

"No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes."

2006-06-23 05:35:10 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

A teacher was working with a group of children,
trying to broaden their horizons through sensory
perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavor
candies and told the kids to close their eyes and
taste each flavor. The kids easily identified the
taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the
teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavors, they
were all stumped.

"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher, "It's
something your mommy and daddy probably call each
other all the time."

Instantly one of the kids coughed his onto the
floor and shouted, "Quick, spit them out - they're
a**hole*!"

2006-06-23 05:34:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-23 05:24:18 · 8 answers · asked by JonZ 1

what dong is that lyric form and where it shows this _____ that word goes in the blank

2006-06-23 05:17:48 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous