Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

2006-06-23 22:51:58 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

the man that made it, sold it,
the man that bought it never used it
and the man that used it never seen it,
what is it?

2006-06-23 22:49:04 · 11 answers · asked by Kelly 5

you keep telling me to go to bed, you wanna with me?? heehee

2006-06-23 22:39:45 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over
5 Minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out
Together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

2006-06-23 22:34:55 · 13 answers · asked by nick 2

2006-06-23 22:33:49 · 4 answers · asked by nick 2

1.If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be
instantly removed.
2.Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3.High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
4.A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
5.If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
6.Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
7.The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't use the duct tape.
8.B good to family and friends. You never know when you need them to empty your bedpan.

2006-06-23 22:28:35 · 7 answers · asked by Pd 6

if you went to the doctors and he said that you have only 24 hours left in your life.... how would you spend your last day?

2006-06-23 22:28:12 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

the word that annoys you

2006-06-23 21:49:39 · 24 answers · asked by Dina 2

a real nice one??

2006-06-23 21:41:21 · 8 answers · asked by rakingrake 1

2006-06-23 21:37:27 · 9 answers · asked by craig m 3

do i need to be underwater to bacome a fish ????

2006-06-23 21:32:37 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

hahahaha

2006-06-23 21:28:45 · 18 answers · asked by playaninstrument 3

'x' is impossible for GOD.
'x' is above GOD.
'x' is important than LOVE.
'x' is 7-letter words.
So, what is 'x'?

2006-06-23 20:46:13 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

http://www.discoverindiatravel.com/south-india-tourism.htm

2006-06-23 20:29:30 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-23 20:24:47 · 7 answers · asked by deepak r 1

2006-06-23 20:16:52 · 5 answers · asked by deepak r 1

2006-06-23 20:06:47 · 7 answers · asked by fuzzycamel23 1

Many say that i am toooo formal. i thnk i gotta bring in some kinda humour in all walks of my life. but all i know is a few blonde jokes. i know that wont work. so guys/gals plz help me. how can i develop such a kinda attitude?? gemme some examples of such jokes too. plz help me.

2006-06-23 20:05:55 · 9 answers · asked by Gokulsreeram 2

A married couple is driving along the highway doing a steady 40 mph. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband looks across at her and says he wants a divorce! The wife said nothing and kept driving increasing her speed to 45mph. The husband tells her I don't want you to talk me out of it, Iv'e been having an affair with ur best friend. Again the wife stays quiet and slowly increases the speed to 55mph. He pushes his luck " I want the house" Up to 60 mph " I want the car too" 65 mph "I'll have all the bank accounts credit cards. and the boat. The car steers towards a massive concrete bridge , the husband gets nervous. So he asked her "Is there anything you want"? The wife says quietly "no, i got everything i need" Really says the husband what have you got, just before they slam into the wall at 70 mph , The wife turns to him and smiles and says." The airbag"

2006-06-23 19:49:39 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

An airliner was having engine trouble and the pilot instructed the
cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an
emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight
attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here,
Captain," came the reply, "except for one lawyer who is still going around
passing out business cards."

2006-06-23 19:31:10 · 29 answers · asked by ♪♫♥Šǒńǘ♥♫♪ 2

I was due for a gynocologist appt. later in the week. I get a phone call saying there is a cancellation if i could be there in 20 min. So i hurried into the bathroom and grabbed the washcloth laying on the sink. and cleaned myself down there to feel more presentable. I ran out the door on my way. I got there and hopped on the table thinking about being in Paris or something, As the Doc was checking me he said "My, we have made an extra effort this morning haven't we" I didn't reply and and after the appt i headed home. Later that day my 6yr old came in from school. Yelling out of the bathroom she asked me where the washcloth was on the sink. I told her to get another one. She said no. I need the one tht was by the sink it had all my sparkles and glitter saved inside of it!!!

2006-06-23 19:28:12 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-23 19:21:45 · 4 answers · asked by mahuaa 1

3rd word?

2006-06-23 19:07:04 · 12 answers · asked by Laprieta 1

2006-06-23 19:04:07 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two vampires meet up for the hunt, one says to the other I hope we can find a drunk fool or a bum tonight, one says you go that way and I'll go this way, they agree to meet up at the same spot to go over their successes, a couple of hours pass by and they meet up, one comes back all bloodied and the other has not but a drop of blood on him, the clean one says, dam buddy you sure gorged yourself you lucky bastard, he looks at him and says not really, you see that light pole over there, I hit it on the way out, and just got up.

2006-06-23 18:49:31 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-23 18:42:12 · 7 answers · asked by Laprieta 1

why is no. 6 afraid of no.7?

2006-06-23 18:22:47 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-23 18:09:31 · 12 answers · asked by wdc1995@sbcglobal.net 1

Could it possibly be this?

http://www.mrleach.com/other/gcse/vets/pictures/Hamster%201.JPG

Or this?

http://harpseals.org/gallery/stills/babys/2.html

ahhhh, so cute and yet so incredibly bitey.
Am I on the right track or are there creatures more bitey then these two toothy terrors?

2006-06-23 18:01:59 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

I know I've been here before, but I must have amnesia or something, because I just can't remember who I am. Can you tell me who I am?

2006-06-23 17:53:19 · 26 answers · asked by 42ITUS™ 7