Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-06-26 10:15:44 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ill start it off:
Chuck Norris doesnt jump, the Earth Crouches

2006-06-26 10:09:41 · 11 answers · asked by ksee019 1

Whats the funniest joke that you know thats appropriate for this site and viewers.

2006-06-26 10:07:32 · 10 answers · asked by bmgb91 2

Try to read this. I'm sure you can....very interesting.

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a
wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be
in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed
it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I
awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

2006-06-26 09:58:44 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

It's not m, a, n

2006-06-26 09:50:48 · 26 answers · asked by ThinkHard56 1

first to get this right, gets 10pts!

2006-06-26 09:40:40 · 21 answers · asked by Disasterpiece. 1

Don’t say you walk away, and not buy of them, there isn’t such a thing! They don’t listen, they don’t care, they don’t get embarrassed, and they don’t get tired. Simply, they are just typical Turks.

2006-06-26 09:33:18 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Best Guess Wins!!

2006-06-26 09:26:04 · 22 answers · asked by K C 1

ladies ur r the best at answering this!U know all those loser guys.U hav all met them.
I have heard this one:Now that i hav seen you i know what santa should get me for christmas

2006-06-26 09:24:07 · 12 answers · asked by JIM N 1

Check it out, it's funny....

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/

2006-06-26 09:22:06 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

can you guess what it is? right answer gets 10 pts!

2006-06-26 09:16:38 · 6 answers · asked by dolphin13crazy 2

2006-06-26 08:59:15 · 10 answers · asked by FELIPE G 1

if youre a girl and you clicked on this question, you passed the nosy test. congrats!!! if ur a guy ur either gay or just really bored

2006-06-26 08:40:41 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is greater than God,
Worse than the Devil,
Dead man eat it,
If you eat it you'll die.

2006-06-26 08:40:15 · 22 answers · asked by me 1

I want to go spelunking this weekend. Is it advisable to rappel using my nipple rings?

2006-06-26 08:36:56 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

You must keep it after giving it
wut is it?

2006-06-26 08:32:54 · 20 answers · asked by me 1

This is the way the world ends...
This is the way the world ends...
This is the way the world ends;
Not with a bang-
But a whimper.

2006-06-26 08:25:17 · 24 answers · asked by 3azaburd 1

You eat something you neither plant nor plow, it is the son of water, but if water touches it, it dies. What is it?

2006-06-26 08:21:18 · 11 answers · asked by Black-Robed Raistlin 1

If you add the numbers from 1 - 100 what will you get?

2006-06-26 08:20:50 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.

Q: Why did the blonde have square breast?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.


Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

2006-06-26 08:15:25 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-26 08:11:35 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Its one HINDI puzzile:- Jo mahene me char bar aatha he aur saal me ek bar..

2006-06-26 08:09:12 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

can any body do it like me??? lol

2006-06-26 08:08:17 · 5 answers · asked by babykhi16 2

A female student shows up during a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door and kneels at his feet,
pleading...
"I would do anything to pass the exam".
She leans closer to him, flipping back her hair, gazing meaningfully
into his eyes and sensuously whispers "I mean..., I would do....
anything!!!".
He returns her gaze. "Anything???"
"Oh yes" she said, "anything!"
He stared into her eyes, and in a whisper said "Would you.....
Study?"
=====================================

The Top 14 Tips for Surviving College
14. Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.

13. Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of
your life.

12. Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's all fun and
games until someone loses their 'nads.

11. Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain
remover.

10. Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into
lucrative "home pharmaceuticals" business.

9. If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.

8. Boring lecture? Start a wave!

7. College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen
Noodle dinner.

6. "I Phelta Thi" is *not* a real fraternity, except at state
colleges.

5. Remember - almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster.

4. Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-
page senior essay.

3. Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.

2. Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor -- think of it
as "acing Biology."

and the Number 1 Tip for Surviving College...

1. In a pinch, beer can be used as a milk substitute in your
breakfast cereal.
===================================

The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students
10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making
$80,000 a year on Wall Street.
9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.
8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
7. I would never date an undergraduate.
6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
3. The department is giving me so much support.
2. My job prospects look really good.
1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years

2006-06-26 08:05:18 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

How do you breathe through that thing? ... lol :)



Got any more stupid jokes?...

2006-06-26 07:55:21 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

(i got nothing against blondes, because i have many blonde friends and they are very smart)
1. a blonde needed to send a message to her motherwho was overseas. she went into the communications centre, but was told it would cost $50. she said, "im desperate to talk to mom, but i dont have any money. please ill do anything for you if yoy would help me!" the man arched an eyebrow. "anything?" "yes, anything" promised the blonde. so the man took her into a room down the hall and shut the door. then he said, "get down on your knees" she did. then he said, "undo my zipper." she did. the man closed his eyes, and whispere, "ok, go for it! the blonde edged closer to his groin, slightly puzzled, but keen to speak to his mother, and yelled into his y-fronts "hello mom?"
2. why do blondes take the pill?
2. so they know which day of the week it is
3. why are blondes so attractive to men?
3. God had to give them something good to compensate for their lack of intelligence

2006-06-26 07:53:49 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

what always ends everything?
1st one correct 10points

2006-06-26 07:25:14 · 25 answers · asked by lylagirl 2

2006-06-26 07:21:55 · 24 answers · asked by blueblast66 1

2006-06-26 07:19:43 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

If I pour some olive oil into the bottle, would be ok for tan?

2006-06-26 06:58:30 · 10 answers · asked by Styloroc 4