How do you breathe through that thing? ... lol :)
Got any more stupid jokes?...
2006-06-26 07:55:21 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
hahaha
How do you kill a blue elephant?
With a blue elepahnt gun.
How do you kill a red elephant?
Choke it until it turns blue, and shoot it with the blue elephant gun.
2006-06-26 07:59:23 · answer #1 · answered by imoan6905 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are three animals a skunk a duck and a toad.They want to go to the movies.Each ticket costs $1.00.Whitch animal can't get in.The skunk!Because the duck has a Bill(Duck's Nose or a bill is a dollor)the toad has a green back(A toads back is green or a green back is a dollor),but the skunk only has a scent/cent(a cent is a penny or a scent is a smell)
2006-06-26 15:06:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tarzan and the animals went to the river to have a bath, when Tarzan took his clothes off all the animals laughed, Tarzan was shocked n asked y.. the animals said, its so weird,, ur tail is in front!!!
so now, dnt i deserve the best answer??!! ;p
2006-06-26 15:03:41 · answer #3 · answered by shoosh_b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is Jack Schitt?
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation.
Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, Were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
So now when someone says, "you don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.
Prison vs. Work
Just in case you ever got these two mixed up, This should make things a bit more clear....
IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.
IN PRISON you get three meals a day.
AT WORK you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.
IN PRISON you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK you get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.
IN PRISON you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON you get your own toilet.
AT WORK you have to share with some idiot who pees on the toilet.
IN PRISON they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK you can't speak to your family.
IN PRISON all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK they are called managers
Alternative methods of notifying someone that their fly is unzipped
The cucumber has left the salad.
Robin has left the hood.
I can see the gun of Navarone.
Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
You've got Windows on your laptop.
Your soldier ain't so unknown anymore.
Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2006-06-26 15:00:35 · answer #4 · answered by penguinlunatic17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol! i got a million stupid jokes!!!...i just dont wanna tell u ne of em!
2006-06-26 15:01:04 · answer #5 · answered by *~♥cali_yummy♥~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did one saggy breast say to the other?
We'd better straighten up or everyone will think we're nuts.
2006-06-26 15:01:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahahalolhahahlmaohahahroflhaha, cute.
Thanks for the points & the laugh!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
2006-06-26 15:06:19 · answer #7 · answered by crystlizm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
a doyathinkhesawus?
what do you call a dinosaur with one eye and a dog?
a doyathinkhesawus rex
what do you call a deer with no eyes?
no idea
what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
still no idea
2006-06-26 14:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do u call a mexican without a lawnmower?
unemployed
2006-06-26 15:04:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, not very funny to me.
2006-06-26 15:00:14 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Ms. Heart♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋