Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

he plays for west ham now but was at this football club last season. He was on loan to this football club in 2004-2005 went back to arsnal and now plays for blackburn.
Peter crouch used to play for this team.
What team is it.

2006-06-08 23:59:41 · 5 answers · asked by addicted to this 4

2006-06-08 23:55:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-08 23:32:08 · 16 answers · asked by bharatpoojary 1

a man (my buddy, uh, jimmy e.) walks into a clinic, he is there to get his monthly vaginal check up, so they stick in the clamps and spread his v all over the place and tell mr. edwards his cherry looks fine, so he went home!!

2006-06-08 23:24:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

do you want to know what it is??

2006-06-08 23:18:39 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

a guy walks into a bar and says ouch my hip hurts!! the bartender throws a beer bottle at him and he passes out.....i mean, he leaped over it...no he kicked it back at him and said, i was only kidding about my hip replacement, hahahaha, then he left the bar, i'm not really sure why he went there in the first place, he didn't even have a brewhaha, wierd huh, wait is this the story section or the jokes, somebody stop me!! ouch that burns how funny that joke is!!

2006-06-08 23:15:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

if you had the power to change the future, would you, say for example you had a crystal ball, or a magic computer, or something that glittered that you could see into the men's locker room...... i mean future with, and you seen that you were going to die in a train accident after your girlfriend/boyfriend left you for another person that was a midget with a whip and a mini motorcycle and they drove off into the sunset together, and your mom married a police officer that always handcuffed her to the kitchen table and had his way with her and you found out that you worked at McDonald's for the rest of your days, would you change it or rather live through it all, with exception to the train accident in which case you had no choice, or would you rather just do mushrooms like i just did right before i started typing about unicorns, wait, what was i talking about again?!

2006-06-08 23:08:18 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Einstein's Riddle!

There are 5 houses in 5 different colors. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. The 5 owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same beverage.
The question is: Who owns the fish?

Hints:

2006-06-08 23:07:01 · 4 answers · asked by alle e 1

to take advantage to call me whatever you want, the one that makes me cry the worst, and makes me puke on my computer wins, good luck!! you can make fun of my momma, or how poor i am, or how dirty i am, try it, it should be fun, but all entries must start with jonboy, your momma........or jonboy you are........direct them toward me, it'll be fun!!

2006-06-08 23:02:01 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

you are seeting the time as 9.30 in mirror in a numberless clock. Then, what is the actual time ?

2006-06-08 22:48:34 · 17 answers · asked by Jaetty 2

About yourself

2006-06-08 22:35:06 · 3 answers · asked by GNL 1

must laugh soon

2006-06-08 22:24:06 · 9 answers · asked by texas boy 3

Maude a 83yr old lady living in a Retirement home meets a nice fellow called Bernie aged 92. Each Tuesday they play Bingo together and after a couple of weeks Bernie decides to ask Maude out on a Date... Maude is very flattered by this and accepts. After their date Maude Invites Bernie Back to her place for coffee... Things soon heat up and they start foolin around. Eventually after making back breaking love, Bernie thinks to himself" If i knew she was still a virgin i would have been More gentle.." while Maude lies thinking: "If I knew the old fart could still get "IT" up I would have taken off my stockings!"

2006-06-08 22:08:21 · 10 answers · asked by Cinnamonsugar 2

2006-06-08 21:59:53 · 16 answers · asked by wolvy 1

5. In court, he yells "I object!"...to his own question.
4. You ask him if he has his briefs ready, and he pull out a pair of Fruit of the Loom underwear from his desk.
3. His law school diploma is from Leroy's Law School and Body Shop.
2. He doesn't know his amicus curiae from his habeas corpus.

And the number one way...

1. He graduated 57th in his law school class...in a class of 38.

2006-06-08 21:43:34 · 5 answers · asked by Modest intellect 4

It is a fruit. Just guess and tell me. It's easy.

2006-06-08 21:41:47 · 10 answers · asked by Sapnat 4

some say it is "Wife stitching husbands condom "

what do u think

2006-06-08 21:32:40 · 7 answers · asked by Happy Alf 3

2006-06-08 21:26:27 · 4 answers · asked by the Eyeball rocker 2

2006-06-08 21:12:20 · 12 answers · asked by adrianocharly 1

Was just painting the kitchen and was thinking of Team America and thought it would be funny if Kim-Jong-Il (sp?) sang "God Bless America." Then I figured out that an Asian bless would be bress
So I guess he would be singing "God Breast Amewica."

2006-06-08 21:04:38 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

A couple visit a zoo.They saw a hippotamus in the far corner and got curios about the animal.The man said its a fish coz it lives in the water.But the woman object."Its a cat not a fish!"The argument turns wild that the woman started pointing her umbrella on her husband's head.Frightened,the man run inside an open cell and hide at the back of a might lion.
The woman(not daring to get closer) shouted, "Coward!Coward!

2006-06-08 20:48:25 · 17 answers · asked by sheeng 1

2006-06-08 20:47:35 · 12 answers · asked by adrianocharly 1

A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.
So, he asks the man his name.
"Fred," he replies. Fred what?" the officer asks.
"Just Fred," the man responds.
When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
"Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.

2006-06-08 20:28:20 · 17 answers · asked by nice_libra_guy 6

Tony is a billiard addict.He escape school esp anatomy subject.One day,hehas no money to pay for a billiard game.So,he decided to enter his class.He's late and his teacher was annoyed.To embarass Tony perhaphs,the teacher ask."Tony,what do call those two bones in your right hand?
"Dice"was the reply.

2006-06-08 20:18:58 · 14 answers · asked by sheeng 1

10 pts. to the first one who gets it right :)

2006-06-08 20:11:26 · 7 answers · asked by shadow 3

Someone please explain this to me.

2006-06-08 20:09:51 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

lol?

A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot
of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of
the cars.

The manager comes out of the bar and stops the
guy. "What the heck are you doing?" he asks the
drunk.

"I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it." he
replies.

"So how does feeling the roof help you?" asks the
puzzled manager.

"Well," replies the drunk earnestly, "My car has
two blue lights and a siren on the roof!".

2006-06-08 20:09:10 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

What would u do when you get your clothes on fire?










Keep cool!

2006-06-08 20:05:32 · 10 answers · asked by sheeng 1

In a marketplace, Two school mates met after a gap of several years and were naturally surprised and pleased at the reunion after such a long time. They haven't seen each other for such a long duration that now one of them even had a kid in tow! The conversation wandered over the many years that had passed and in between, one of them asked the name of little baby-in-tow and promptly got the reply that the name of the baby was the same as her mother's. The friend immediately exclaimed "oh then, how old is little jane now". How was the name found out without being told? (You can discount all untold possiblities like the friend knowing the other's partner even before marriage and so on).

2006-06-08 19:51:42 · 10 answers · asked by bingo123 1

Liquid cannot pass me through, yet liquid I spew if you make me move. Cover I do something very complex, yet I am very easy to flex.

2006-06-08 19:13:17 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous